


Yuri's Ice Princess

by LovelyAngelLu



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Caring Katsuki Yuuri, Caring Otabek Altin, Coach Victor Nikiforov, F/M, M/M, Original Female Character(s) - Freeform, Otabek Altin & Yuri Plisetsky Are Best Friends, Phichit Chulanont Is a Good Friend, Protective Yuri Plisetsky, Supportive Phichit Chulanont, Supportive Victor Nikiforov, Victor Nikiforov is Extra, Wingman Mila Babicheva, Yuri Plisetsky's Nickname Is Yurio
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-19
Updated: 2020-07-12
Packaged: 2020-10-21 12:37:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 28
Words: 78,189
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20693660
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LovelyAngelLu/pseuds/LovelyAngelLu
Summary: Karissa Faye is a female ice skater who was never able to find her start. After Celestino offers to coach her, she leaves her home and goes to Detroit where she meets Yuuri Katsuki and Phichit Chulanont.Now she becomes one of the most famous female figure skaters, seen as a prodigy and called the USA’s Ice Princess.After Yuuri’s failure at the Grand Prix Finals Karissa goes with him back to Japan, hoping to help him.However, she ends up helping someone else.(Yuri Plisetsky x OC)





	1. Prologue

Prologue

Five Years Ago~

“Karissa, there you are!” Celestino called out to me. I felt myself get nervous as all eyes shifted to me. I had just walked into the main part of the skating center in Detroit and everyone was staring at me. What I get for being the new person. 

“Sorry I’m late,” I said. “I got lost trying to find the locker room.”

“It’s no problem.” He told me, leading me towards the doors to the ice rink. “I’m just glad you showed up for practice.” I felt the cold air of the rink hit my face and a shiver runs through me. I heard the sound of two sets of skates against the ice. I felt tense. “I should introduce you to my other students. Yuuri! Phichit!” He called out. I watched as two boys a lot older than me skated up to where we were by the rink.

“Oh wow! Yuuri Katsuki and Phichit Chulanont! You two are some of the biggest Junior Figure Skaters!” I was in total awe of them. I had watched them on TV and seen their routines. They were amazing. 

“You know a lot about us huh?” Yuuri asked me sheepishly. I felt slightly embarrassed.

“What’s your name?” Phichit asked. “I don’t think I’ve seen you in the Girls Juniors.” I bit my lip. I know I can skate but what do I have against these guys? This was such a bad idea, I should have never asked him to be my coach.

“This is Karissa Faye,” Celestino said for me, giving me a reassured hand on my back. “Most of her competitions are more local based but she has a lot of skill. With some of my training, she will be earning gold metals in no time.”

“Of course.” I said softly.

“Now, let’s get started.”

I heard the cheers of the crowd as I dawned my Gold medal on my neck. I let out a laugh as I waved to the crowd and paparazzi, my first senior debut. I not only earned gold but have also been marked as the first female to ever complete a quad in a competition which is big news.

“You did amazing!” Yuuri yelled at me throught the phone. I was in my changing room, finally away from the crowd. There was so much excitement on his face it made me laugh. Luckily I had my headphones plugged in so it was more private.

“Of course she was amazing! She scored a gold medal.” Phichit scolded him. We were all on a three-way facetime call. 

“Calm down guys.” I tried to reason. I was walking with my bag towards the exit to go back to my hotel. 

“Calm down? You were awesome! And that quad was flawless!” Yuuri told me. 

“It’s all thanks to you guys. Without your help, there’s no way I could have done it.” I really owe it to them. They have always been there to help me, no matter what it was.“Have you been practicing for your competition?” I asked Yuuri.

“Of course I have. I’m ready.” However, I could feel the nervousness in his voice and face.

“You’ll be just fine.” Phichit told him. I walked out into the cold winter, trying to catch a cab.

“Are you sure about me not making it for your final tomorrow? I could always skip the banquet and catch a flight tonight and be there to see you.”

“You can not skip the banquet,” Yuuri told me. “It’s your first Senior year banquet you have to go.”

“Alright, but promise you won’t wig yourself out.”

“I won’t.”


	2. Grand Prix Final of Tears

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Now we finally get to the intro of the show!

I was struggling to breathe as I ran through the hallways of the arena. I knew I should have been there for Yuuri.

~

“Are you sure I don’t need to go? I can always try and make it back right after my final.” I told Yuuri. It was a day before the Grand Pre Final for both of us, my first time competing in the Senior Division. Our competition was in different cities. I got back to the apartment we lived in. All of the skaters who were training under Celestino stayed in the same apartment. It made it easier to get to our practices. “I just know how nervous you get. What if you get freaked out. Normally I’m the one who calms you down.”

“I’ll be fine. Coach Celestino will be there. And you need to focus on your competition, Karissa.”

“Fine.” I grumbled. Yuuri gave me a soft smile. 

~

‘Dammit! I should have been there!’ I yelled at myself. I knew something like this would happen. I saw Celestino standing to the side visibly frustrated.

“Celestino!” I caught his attention. I stopped in front of him, hands on my knees as I tried to catch my breath. “Where’s Yuuri?”

“He told me the bathroom but-”

“Thanks!” I said cutting him off. I ran towards the bathroom. Of course, it was the men’s but right now I didn’t care. I turned the corner and ran into somebody. I let out a yelp as I hit the ground. I let out a groan and saw someone above.

“Hey!” I heard in heavy Russian. “Watch where you’re going, idiot!” Who I collided with was none other than Yuri Pliseski. The Russian Punk or the Ice Tiger of Russia. I wasn’t impressed. 

“Screw...you.” I muttered out of breath. I stood up, holding my now bruised side. He let out a tch as he walked away. I let out a grunt at him. Silently flipping him off in my head. I was about to walk into the bathroom when I saw Yuuri walkout. “Yuuri!” I shouted as I wrapped my arms around him and pulled him into a hug. 

“Karissa, what are you doing here?!”

“After I watched your Short Program I booked the first flight to get here.” I said. My lungs still burned. I clenched onto his shirt. “I’m sorry I wasn’t here for you in time.” I was on the verge of tears. He held me tighter and let out a sigh.

“Trust me. It would have been like this if you were here.” He told me. I pulled back and looked at him. “Come on. Let’s go home. I can make you some hot chocolate when we get back.” Yuuri pulled me along with him. Yuuri has always been like this. When he’s hurting or feeling down he focuses on others to feel better. I guess that’s why he considers me a little sister. 

I walked with Yuuri out the front with Celestino. I was sporting my USA jacket. I could tell Yuuri was deep in thought.

“Hey, Katsuki!” I heard someone shout. We both looked back. It was Morooka, one of the announcers for the competitions.

“Hi, Morooka.” Yuuri responded.

“Don’t give up yet, kid, you hear me? You’re too young to retire.” He said. I saw Yuuri look down. 

“It’s a little early for that. I haven’t made a decision yet.” Wait, was he considering retiring? I felt myself go numb to everything around me. Yuuri, retiring. No way. He promised me.

“Yuuri.” I said but at the same time a voice somewhere else called it out as well. I glanced behind me and saw Viktor Nikiforov walking out with Yuri Pliseski. I almost started to fangirl right then and there.

“You did well tonight, but I think your step sequence could use a bit more finesse.”

“I won, didn’t I? So who cares.” The other Yuri remarked. Viktor was talking to him. I watched as other Yuri was getting yelled at by his coach. I couldn’t help but smirk Take that bastard. Viktor glanced over at me and Yuuri. Yuuri let out a gasp and I tried to stay calm.

“Want to get a photo?” He asked.

“Uh…” Yuuri said next to me. I grabbed his hand. 

“Come on,” I told him. “You get to meet Viktor.”

“Sure thing.” Viktor told us.

“Thank you,” I said walking over. Yuuri quickly dropped my hand and started to walk away. “Yuuri!” I shouted at him, but he kept walking. I looked back a Viktor as he stood there watching Yuuri go. He seemed disappointed. “Thank you for the opportunity,” I told Viktor. “But I have to go with him. It’s been a rough day. Hopefully, we can meet again soon.” I told him before running after Yuuri.

We got back to the apartment. Even though I walked this time, it was hard to breathe. This cold air kills me. Yuuri still seemed down. He immediately walked into the kitchen to make me his famous hot chocolate. At least, it would hopefully keep his mind off of the competition. I headed to my bedroom and plopped down on my bed.

“Here.” Yuuri handed me a steaming cup. He was about to walk away. I grabbed his wrist with my free hand to stop him. I pulled him down the bed next to me. 

“Talk to me Yuuri.” I put my cup aside. He avoided my eyes. 

“I’m an idiot.” He spat out. “How did I ever believe that I could play on the same field as Viktor. I was humiliated.” He grabbed onto my shoulders. His head down. “I know you’re disappointed in me. I just want this to be over.”

“I’m not disappointed. Just worried.” I said softly. “How about you get some sleep? I know you don’t sleep well around the time of competitions. We can talk tomorrow.”

“Thank you.” He told me and quickly left the room. He closed the door behind him. I let out a gasp and laid on my bed. Panting hard. I was trying to keep my breathing steady so he wouldn’t notice. I reached under my bed and grabbed the tube to my oxygen machine. I put it over my nose and mouth and turned it one. It made a soft noise as it hummed to life. I took deep breaths, trying to get more of the air into my lungs.

“What am I going to do?” I asked out loud. It’s getting worse every day.

=Yuri=  
I read through more news articles about Yuuri Katsuki and laughed. He probably should retire. I scrolled through more when I saw an article about him and the girl he was with. I clicked on it, it was addressing the rumors that they were dating. ‘Just friends.’ ‘Like a brother.’

“Good thing. I can’t imagine that loser dragging her down.” I saw her name. Karissa Faye. I let out a gasp and sat up in bed. No way is she Karissa Faye? I looked at her picture again. The last time I watched her skate was 3 or 4 years ago. She’s changed so much. What is someone like her doing with a loser like him?


	3. Welcome Back to Japan Yuuri Katsuki!

3 Months Later~

“OMG! We’re here!” I started taking pictures of everything. The artwork on the walls, the floor tiles and the people around me. We had just got off the plane into Japan.

“Why are you taking pictures of the airport?” He asked with a chuckle. I rubbed the back of my neck sheepishly. 

“Hey, this is an important moment. My first look at Japan from the airport. These pictures could be a defining point later.” We made our way through the airport. It was small but not much different from other airports.

“Karissa.” Yuuri caught my attention. “What’s this?” He asked. It was the heavy black bag that held the breathing machine and everything with it. I was attached to the top of my suitcase. Crap.

“That’s my make up bag. For competitions. I use it to fix my face up. It’s just super heavy because I wasn’t sure what I’d need.” I lied.

“But you aren’t competing.”

“So what. Maybe I wanted to doll myself up while I’m here. Just because I don’t do makeup doesn’t mean I can’t.” I pouted.

“Alright. Alright.” He told me. Raising his hands in surrender. At least he bought it. I’ve been wanting to tell him but I haven’t. I guess I’m just worried that when I tell him, things will change. Yuuri let out a gasp. Breaking me of my thoughts. I looked up and saw posters of him plastered across the walls. I raised my phone a took a pic. 

“Oh, God!”

“Yuuri!” I heard someone call out, in a songful voice. Yuuri jumped before spazzing out. “Why are you skulking around like that?”

“Hey! What are you doing here?” Yuuri asked the young women in front of us.

“Welcome home after five long years.” She said pulling out a banner that read ‘Yuuri Katsuki.’

“That’s really not necessary.” He said, embarrassed.

“Stand straight and smile would ya?” She told him. I let out a chuckle.

“Wow, Minako. You never cease to surprise me.” I told her.

“Karissa!” She ran over to me and hugged me, taking my air away. “I know I’ve seen what you looked like over video chats but to see you in person is so different.”

“It’s nice to see you in person too. As much as Yuuri talks about home.” I took a step back smiling. I heard murmuring around us as people began to notice Yuuri. Luckily, they didn’t notice me, yet at least.

“Hey, Minako. I’m headed to the bathroom to freshen up. Be right back.” I told her, giving her no time to say otherwise. I went to the bathroom and washed my face with water. I pulled my inhaler out of my bag and used it. Every day twice a day I take two puffs. It keeps my breathing steady. I pulled the surgical mask over my nose and mouth and walked outside, preparing for the cold weather. It hit me hard, but the mask covered my face. 

I looked at the building in front of me. There was a sign that read ‘Hasetsu Hot Springs. Yu-Topia Katsuki’.

“This is your family’s hot spring, huh?” I asked.

“Yeah.” We walked in the door, enjoying the warmth. “I’m home,” Yuuri called out silently.

“Hiroko! You will never guess who I have with me.”

“There you are, Minako.” A woman called out, running towards us. It was Yuuri’s mom. She was always so nice over the phone. “Thank you for going to get him at the station.” She stopped in front of us. “Welcome back home Yuuri.”

“Yeah, thanks, mom.” She gasped when she saw me. 

“Karissa.” She grabbed both of my hands. “It’s good to finally meet you, not with a phone and the distance.”

“You too.” I smiled.

“It’s been a long time. I should have come to visit sooner. Sorry.” Yuuri said, sadly. His mom waved it off. 

“None of that dear. I only wish I could have made it to your graduation.” She said. “Want to pork cutlet bowl?” At the name of the dish, I got excited. I had heard about the famous pork cutlet bowl.

“It looks like you lost weight.” Minako told his mom.

“You’re so sweet to an old lady.” She told her. “What about you? No matter how much you drink, you don’t seem to gain a pound.” Minako looked over at Yuuri.

“As for you…” Yuuri tensed up. “What kind of gut are you hiding underneath that bulky coat of yours?” Yuuri tried to escape but Minako grabbed him. “Alright! Off with the clothes.” I watched as she pulled off his outer winter wear. I will admit he gained weight. It’s his eating habits but honestly, I never wanted his weight to be an issue.

“Wow, you look just like your mom Yuuri.” His dad said, poking his head in.

“Dad…”

“This is no laughing matter Toshiya! A figure skater has to maintain a certain physique and that isn’t it!

“You’ve gained weight easily ever since you were a boy. But what can you do? Now, how many pork cutlet bowls can we put you two down for?”

“Before I eat…” Yuuri started.

“Of course dear.” His mom told him. “Go pay your respects.” I watched Yuuri saunter off. “Here. Let’s get you settled.” She told me. She took me to a room just down the way. Of course right next to Yuuri’s. “This okay?”

“This is perfect. Thank you.” I told her. I placed my stuff down. “I hate to be rude but can I change first before dinner. I’ve been wearing these clothes for a while.”

“Of course dear. Take as long as you need it. Dinner is ready when you are ready.” She left and closed the door. I opened up my suitcase and pulled out some new clothes. I changed quickly into them. It was a simple large sweatshirt and leggings. I then reached for my bag holding the breathing machine and set it up. After I did I slid it under the bed, out of sight. I heard my phone go off. It was a message.

Did you make it?

It was sent by Phichit. I laid on my new bed and opened up a video call.

“Hey, Rissa!” He said excitedly. I saw one of his hamsters propped upon his shoulder. I rolled my eyes at the nickname.

“I told you not to call me Rissa. I hate it.” I told him.

“Sorry, I think it’s cute.” I let out a chuckle.

“How’s it going hamster boy?” I teased.

“Not too bad. To be honest I miss having you and Yuuri around. It’s different. You helped keep us in check.”

“I miss you too.” I said. Phichit was older than me but we are close like me and Yuuri. After he left to go back home, I missed him. However, we keep in touch.

“How are you liking Japan?”

“I love it! So pretty!” He let out a laugh as I fangirled.

“I knew you would. Make sure to send me pictures.”

“I will.” I glanced at the door. “I gotta eat dinner. Talk later?”

“Yeah. Tell Yuuri I said hi.”

“Will do.” I smiled.

After dinner, I sat with Minako and a patron watching the Skating Championship.

“Man, I really wanted to go to the championship. If only you qualified, Yuuri, you could have gotten me the skaters’ room numbers.” Minako said slightly buzzed. I shook my head teasingly.

“So that’s it?” Yuuri asked behind us. “You support me in hopes that I’ll make it easier for you to stalk hot skaters.”

“Hey! That’s only one of the reasons I support you!” I watched as Viktor came on the screen. He seemed to be practicing his routine. I felt myself blush to watch him. I know I wouldn’t have a chance but he is one beautiful man.

“Hey, Karissa.” Yuuri pulled me out of my daydream.

“Do we really have to walk?” I muttered. The cold air was starting to affect me. I held onto the stone wall next to me. He looked at me concerned.

“I’m fine. Just jet-lagged.” I lied.

“Here,” Yuuri told me. He leaned down in front of me. I climbed onto his back as he gave me a piggyback ride.

“Thank you.” I told him. 

“Your like the little sister I’ve never had.” He told me. I smiled and nuzzled into his back. 

“Your like the brother I wish I had.” I muttered to myself. Even though it was dark I watched the city lights reflect off the water. He set me down right outside a building called Ice Castle. As we walked inside I saw a girl putting up a set of ice skates.

“Excuse me.” Yuuri told her.

“Sorry, we’re closed. You can come back tomorrow.” She looked over at us and saw Yuuri.

“Hey, Yuko. Long-time no see, huh?”

“That you Yuuri?” He gave her a small nod. She ran over to the counter and jumped in excitement. “Well quit standing there like some stranger and tell me how you’ve been!”

“Fine, I guess.” He muttered. I stood back and watching them interact. She glanced behind Yuuri and saw me.

“Hi, I’m Karissa Faye.” I said giving a small wave.

“Woah!” She yelled as she ran around the counter and gave me a hug. “I can’t believe it! Your Karissa Faye, my idol. You are one of the top female figure skaters.”

“Uh yeah. It’s nice to meet you.” She pulled out her phone and took a picture of me. 

“So you two are here together?” She asked. 

“Well, we trained together in Detroit. I had time to get to know him, he’s like a brother to me.” I said, trying to explain we weren’t a couple. Everyone assumed we were.

“Speaking of skating. I bet that’s what you two came to do? Go right ahead.”

“Really? You don’t mind?” Yuuri asked.

“Nah, I’m guessing you don’t want an audience? I’ll make sure you’re not interrupted.” She gave us a wink. I really like her.

“Great. Thanks a lot.” Yuuri told her. I sat down with Yuuri as he strapped up his skates.

“You guys old friends?” I asked.

“Yuko is two years older than me. She was my rink mate. She was a really great skater when we were little. I grew up idolizing her. ‘The Madonna of Ice Castle Hasetsu’.”

“Wow. She sounds amazing.” I told him. He made our way out to the ice, Yuko joining me on the outside of the rink. Yuuri handed her his glasses.

“There’s something I really want you to see. I’ve been practicing since the competition ended. Will you watch?” He asked her. He skated to the middle of the rink. I could almost hear the cheering from the video we watched. Even with no music, I could hear ‘Stay Close to Me’ play in my head.

Yuuri did some step work before going into the first quad. It was a Quadruple Lutz. He landed it beautifully. There was more step work before the next quad came in. A Quadruple Flip. I stopped caring about the jumps and watched him move across the ice so skillfully. I was so in awe, it was like Viktor was here with us. I started to cry, I could see Yuuri coming back. He finished it off with a combination spin and the final pose. He gasped for breath. I saw Yuko let out a gasp before tears fell. I stood next to her with tears of my own falling.

“You’re freaking amazing!” Yuko shouted as she slammed her hands into the wall, beating it. That was a perfect copy of Viktor.” She let out a giggle. “Honestly, I’d thought you’d be depressed.” 

“I was...but it turns out being depressed gets really old after a while. It also affects the people around me as well.” I saw him glance at me. I started to cry again. “I lost my love for skating and I wanted it back. I thought if I copied Viktor as we did in the old days, it would help. I’ve been thinking…” He was cut off as three identical looking girls popped up over the wall staring at Yuuri. 

“My girls Axel, Lutz, and Loop. They’re a lot bigger than the last time you saw them, aren’t they?”

“Uh yeah…”

“Wow, you really did get fat, Yuuri!” Axel commented.

“So you’re retiring?” Loop asked.

“Is Karissa you’re girlfriend?” Lutz questioned.

“Hey!” Yuko yelled at them. “Ignore them! The girls are groupies, sorry!” I heard another pair of skates hit the ice.

“Ha! I’m telling ya, those three are some of your biggest fans.” A guy said coming up and putting an arm around Yuuri.

“Hey. Nishigori.” Yuuri grunted out. So that must be Yuko’s husband.

“Daddy!” All three cheered.

“You’re fatter than me!” He teased Yuuri. I let out a smile and wiped my tears away. I’m so glad he’s found himself again. “You two come by to practice any time. The Nishigori family always got your back, you know that.”

“You can do it, Yuuri!” Loop told him.

“Work hard!” Axel cheered.

“Lose weight!” Lutz encouraged.

The next day I sat in the hot springs. Soaking in the hot water I felt so great. And the steam help cleared my lungs. I can see why they make them so prominent in animes. I got out and put a robe on. As I went out to go to my room I saw they reporting on different skaters. It flashed to St. Petersburg and showed Yuri Plisetsky practicing at his home rink.

“Whoa! Did you see that jump?” Yuuri shouted sitting closest to the tv. “Make that two jumps.” He looked back at me. I saw Russian Yuri and Viktor talking. “Karissa. I need to talk to you.” I let out a yelp as he dragged me to his room. I saw the posters of Viktor that covered the wall. I sat on his desk chair while he sat on the ground below me. It was kinda awkward wearing only a robe but right now that didn’t matter. Yuuri was thinking.

“What’s going on?” I asked.

“I’m going to do it. I’m not sure how but I’m going to skate on the same ice as Victor again someday.” He looked so determined saying that. Yuuri’s phone beeped as he picked it up. “Huh? Nishigori? What?!” He yelled.

“What happened?” He showed me his phone. The video on his phone was the routine he did in the rink the other day. “How did… the twins.” I shook my head. Yuuri got a call from Nishigori.

“Look Yuuri. I’m really sorry. The girls uploaded it and it’s gone viral.” I heard yelling in the background. Yuuri fell over in defeat.

“Yuuri!” I said. I kneeled down next to him. The door suddenly slammed open by Minako.

“You thought you could suddenly-” She stopped when she saw me. We looked at each other for a moment. Wow, this must look bad. Only wearing a robe in his room. 

“Uh…I can explain.”

After the video posted, people have been blowing up social media about it. I let out a sigh as my phone went off with another alert. It was about the snow falling outside. I was curled up in the main room, covered in a blanket. I let out a yawn and sipped my coffee. I heard a dog bark as Yuuri was tackled to the ground by a huge brown poodle. I saw Yuuri let out a giggle as the dog licked him.

“Morning,” Toshio said. “Looks just like our Viktor, eh? His owners a new guest. Some good looking young fellow with an accent. He’s in the spring right now.” Yuuri let out a gasp as she stumbled back into the men’s side of the hot spring. I took another sip of my coffee.

“It’s too early for this.” I muttered. The poodle came up to me laid at my feet. I reached an arm out to pet him. He let out a soft bark. I heard a yell come from across the building. What’s up with him? The poodle pounced onto me. I let out a giggle as it licked me. Jumping around trying to play. We ran around the room before he tackled me to the ground. “You won.” I grunted in defeat. The dog let out a happy bark.

“So you like Makkachin?” I heard a silky Russian voice. I saw a pair of legs before I let out a gasp from under Makkachin. I saw none other than Viktor Nikiforov. 

“No way!”


	4. Drama at Yu-topia

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Viktor finally makes his apperance! How will Yuuri and Karissa handle it?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just realized that I never exactly gave a character description to Karissa. I felt like details help give you an idea of what she looks like.
> 
> -Mid Length Blonde Hair  
-Bangs to the left (Dyed Blue)  
-Blue/Green Eyes  
-Red Glasses  
-Pale skin  
-5'2 (Very Short)
> 
> Hopefully, that helps a little. I hope you guys enjoy it!

“Karissa. You okay?” Yuuri asked me. I was currently laying under one of the tables and covering myself with a blanket.

“No. Viktor, my idol, saw me with my pajamas and dirty hair. I looked like crap. It’s so embarrassing.” I mumbled sadly.

“Where is he?!” Minako shouted, slamming the door open. “Why isn’t he answering his cell?” I poked my head out to see what was going in and in the process saw Viktor laying on the floor. Makkachin passed out beside him.

“He’s so elegant. Even in his sleep.” I said in admiration.

“Why is he passed out on the floor in one of the inn’s robes?!” Minako demanded.

“After soaking in the hot spring and eating dinner he just sorta fell asleep.” Yuuri answered.

“It’s all over the news in Russia. They say he’s taking the next season off to consider the future of his career.” I watched Viktor roll over and cuddle into Makkachin. “But what’s really interesting is the reason. Apparently, he was the video of you skating his routine, he was so inspired by your performance, he decided to become your coach.”

“Huh?” Yuuri and I said at the same time.

“That’s why he’s here. He chose you to become his protege. Do you know how incredible this is? He came for you!” Viktor let out a sneeze and I jumped.

“He’s awake.” Yuuri whispered. I let out a yelp and tucked my head back into my cocoon under the table. I can’t believe this. He’s here and I look like crap. I heard them talking but kept to myself.

“Karissa. There’s food.” Yuuri told me. Trying to tempt me with food. I poked my head and arm out, trying to reach for the bowl. I leaned out too far and fell out, landing on my stomach.

“So there’s Karissa Faye.” I heard Viktor say. I felt goosebumps go up my body. “It’s a pleasure to properly meet you.” He gave me a smile and I melted. Keep it together. “Why were you hiding?”

“Um…” I muttered. “I was just surprised by you. That’s all.”

“No need to be surprised.” He helped me up to my feet and I was slightly embarrassed.

“Hey, Yuuri. What’s up with all these boxes?” Mari asked him.

“Think you can take them to the room where I’ll be staying?” Viktor asked him

“Say what now?” Yuuri and Minako said at the same time. I let out a gasp as I saw an entire pile of boxes in the front of the house.

“Lift with your legs.” I reminded Yuuri. I was helping set up Viktor’s room. Mostly his bed while Yuuri took care of the boxes.

“Ahh. What an incredibly adorable little room!” Viktor said cheerfully. “Is there a sofa?”

“No, sorry,” Yuuri said after the last box was put down. “I know it’s really small, but it’s the only room we had available.”

“I’ll make it work, don’t you worry.” 

“Viktor. Can I take Makka out with me?”

“Sure, no problem.” I called Makkachin over and I took him outside with me. Even though it was cold I still enjoyed sitting outside.

“Makka, want to play.” The dog bowed playfully. On the way out a grabbed a ball from the box that held Makka’s toys. I threw it down the stairs and he ran after it. Might as well wear him out. He brought it back and I threw it again. I guess I was here for a while because Viktor joined me outside.

“A bit chilly. Don’t you think?” Viktor asked. He sat next to me on the bench. Makka came back panting. He immediately ran over and plopped down on Viktor’s feet.

“Yeah, it is,” I told him. We sat in silence. “Why do you want to coach Yuuri?” I questioned. He gave me a curious look. 

“Well his video, when I watched it, it sparked something in me. Something I haven’t felt in a long time.” I smiled as I thought back to his routine.

“Yuuri has been through a lot. He messes up but he is an amazing skater. He just needs good motivation.” I let out a light cough.

“Karissa, I hate to pry but what is Yuuri to you?” I leaned back and looked at the sky.

“Like an older brother. He has always just given me a form of unconditional love I’ve never had before.” Viktor gave me a smile.

“Are you planning to compete again?” Viktor asked me. I rubbed my shoe into the ground. 

“I want to...I’m just…I’m just not feeling motivated. I have beat the Junior Championship three times and the Women’s Senior Championship just recently. Now, who do I have left to compete with?”

“Why don’t we get inside? Tomorrow I have a big day planned for Yuuri.” Viktor said. He walked towards the front. “And I want you to join us.” I gave him a confused look. But he was already inside. Why does Viktor want me there? This is sudden. I felt myself start to cough more. I need to get inside. I got to my room and sat on my bed. My coughing got worse. I quickly got a tissue and coughed up mucus. I tried to take deep breaths. I pulled on the mask and felt better. I can’t even be outside for long, how can I keep up with skating?

“Karissa. Were going out to the rink. Want to come?” Yuuri asked me. 

“Yeah. Let me grab my stuff.” Now that Viktor has been staying here, I’ve been getting better about not freaking out. It helps seeing him as a person and not an idol or god. I pulled on my backpack and met them at the door.

“Ready to run?” Yuuri asked me. I felt my heart drop. I can’t run in this weather. I would make a fool out of myself. 

“You have it wrong Piggy. She’ll ride with me. A lady like her shouldn’t be running like this. Plus your the one who has to burn some pounds.”

I let out a giggle as Viktor rode his bike towards Ice Castle. I stood on the bars that stuck out on the wheels and held onto his shoulders. He would ring his bell at people and great them. Makka ran beside us, enjoying the run while Yuuri ran behind us, panting. He introduced himself to the Nishigori family.

“Hi, I’ll be Yuuri’s coach from now on. Viktor Nikiforov. Nice to meet you.” He gave them a wink.

“Huh? Huh?! Huh!”

“Viktor is really going to coach you?!”

“Karissa, skate with me.”

“Wait? You want me to skate with you?” I questioned, blushing. He gave me a nod. “But you haven’t seen how-”

“You skate beautifully. I’ve seen your competitions and how flawless you are on the ice. I know you are an amazing skater.” Viktor then leaned forward and took off my glasses. I let out a gulp. “Yuuri needs to be determined to want to get back on the ice. He thinks of you as an amazing skater. We’ll give him a reason for him to be on the ice.” I gave him a determined look. “Hold these little piggie.” Viktor said placing my glasses in Yuuri’s hands. I skated to the middle of the ice rink.

“What were you thinking?” I asked.

“Just follow my lead.” Viktor started to skate. I followed with him as we moved across the ice together. Viktor then pulled me in facing him by the hip. We skated together as if we were dancing on solid ground. He spun me around him elegantly. I kept a grip on his hand as we skated an arm’s length away. He pulled me close again before lifting me up into the air by my side. I let out a quiet yelp as he skated in a circle before setting me on the ice. I felt myself smiling. I pulled myself closer to Viktor before he leaned me down into a dip as we skated across the ice. I slowly pushed myself upright as we skated side by side. Not focusing on the jumps, just the beauty of skating. Viktor settled behind me before pulling me into a final pose. His hand rested on my hip and my back to his chest. I was panting trying to catch my breath.

“That was amazing!” I heard people cheer. Yuko was in tears, the twins were taking pictures and Yuuri jaw dropped.

“See,” Viktor said from behind me. I skated and move around to look at him. “Yuuri wants the ice more than ever.” He then looked up at Yuuri. “Remember you’re not setting a foot in this rink until you drop some weight little piggy.” I laughed to myself.

I was sitting outside with Viktor waiting for Yuuri to finish his running. I got a whole bunch of notifications.

“What the?” I clicked on it and saw the video of me and Vikor skating together. “What?!”

“What’s wrong Karissa?” Viktor asked. He glanced over my shoulder at the video.

“I guess the twins strike again.” 

=====

I let out a growl as I saw the video of Viktor skating with Karissa. Not only did he skip out on his promise but he’s skating with her! That bastard! He knows exactly how to get to me! That’s it, I have to find him! 

“Damn it!” I shouted throwing my phone. I picked it up and saw that Viktor had posted a selfie under a strange-looking building. I immediately recognized it. “Hasetus Castle? Okay, now I know where he is.” I rolled over on my bed. “Just wait Viktor. I’ll see you soon.” I glanced over at my phone at the new selfie Karissa post with Viktor at the tower as well. This time on her page. I can’t wait to see you again Karissa…


	5. Two Yu(u)ri's?!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yuri has made it to Japan, what will happen when he reaches Ice Castle Hasetsu?

News spread that Viktor was in Hasetsu. Media and fans flocked from all over to see him. Of course, they were constantly trying to interview me to get the scoop about the routine I skated with Viktor. I couldn’t believe it. I came back to real life and saw Yuuri falling behind.

“Keep it up Yuuri. Almost done.” I shouted from above the stairs he was running up. He’s been training hard to lose weight. Exercising and doing ballet has helped him. Even though I didn’t do everything with him I still tried my best to support him in any way I could.

======

Walking through Hasetsu my only goal was to look for Viktor. He promised to choreograph a program for me during my senior debut. However, if I could see Karissa…

~~~~~~~

I sat in the bleachers, bored out of my mind. It was the girl’s junior division championships. The only reason I was here was Mila competing. I was super bored. I sat with the other Russians skaters from my rink. Mila had already finished, however, Yakov said we had to stay

“Representing the USA, Karissa Faye.” The crowd cheered. I watched as Karissa skated out on the ice. I let out a yawn. Just a few more before this damn thing is over. The music started and it snapped me out of my boredom. I sat up. I know this song. It’s called History Makers. She began to elegantly skate to the music. “Karissa Faye. Only 13 and already on our list of contenders for who will win the upcoming finals.” I watched as she completed a Triple Axel. 

“No way! I can barely do a Triple Axel.” I said to myself. She skated doing beautiful step work. I was so mesmerized. She wasn’t as focused on the jumps as she was skating but when I watched her I could feel not only her determination to win but her passion for skating. It was in her face, her eyes and the way she moved. Before I knew it, she ended the performance with her final pose. The crowd went nuts and started to throw stuffed animals, flowers and different items onto the ice. 

“Yuri!” I heard someone yell at me. I snapped out of my daze and looked over at Yakov. “Were you listening to anything I just said!” I ignored him and looked back at Karissa. She was waving to the crowd with a huge smile on her face. How is she so passionate? 

~~~~~~~~~~~~

I snapped out of my memory. I looked around and noticed I was on a bridge.

“Huh?! Where am I?” I grabbed onto the edge of the bridge and yelled over the water. Hey, Viktor!”

“Oh, are you a fan of Viktors?” A fisherman next to me asked. I didn’t even notice him. He pointed past me to the buildings on the other side of the bridge. “He spends a lot of time practicing at the skating rink below the castle. I would try there.”

========

I sat on the inside of the glass doors watching people try to horde their way into the rink. I was waiting for Yuuri. He said he was supposed to be ready today, all his weight was gone. Viktor has been waiting long enough and he needs to get started. I heard a thud as Yuuri hit the other side of the glass doors.

“There you are.” I said from the other side. I opened the doors. Yuuri put his hands on his knees, trying to catch his breath.

“I made it. And it didn’t die.” Yuuri grunted out, looking up at me.“Guess what. My weight if back to what it was before the Grand Prix Final.” Yuuri put his hands together in praise. “Now Viktor will finally give me permission to skate!” I heard a growl as someone kicked Yuuri through the open doors. Yuuri let out a yell as he rolled into the front desk. 

“What the-?” I asked. I watched as none other than Yuri Plisetski walked in. He placed his foot on Yuuris’s forehead and rubbed it in.

“All of this is your stupid fault! Now say your sorry!” I let out a growl and yanked Yuri off of Yuuri by his hood. He fell backward onto his behind.

“Who the hell do you think you ar-!” The started to yell before he came face to face with me. He stopped when he saw who I was. He seemed almost in awe but I was too pissed to care. I grabbed the front of his jacket, pulled him onto his feet and pushed him into the wall.

======

“Listen here prick.” She growled. “You have no right to come in here and pull this crap. I have no idea why you’re here but if you’re staying then you need to get out of Yuuri’s way.” I was in shock. She had so much fire and passion in her eyes. Even though she was mad...she held so much beauty.

=====

“Karissa.” Yuuri said, getting up. I let go of Yuri’s jacket and took a step back. He wiped down the front of his jacket.

“A long time ago Viktor promised he’d choreograph a program for me,” Yuri explained, mostly to me. He then looked at Yuuri. “He promised you, too?”

“We haven’t exactly gotten around to talking about programs.” Yuuri answered.

“Huh? If you’re not working on a new program then what have you been doing?” Yuri yelled, stomping his foot, taking a step forward. “Why is he wasting time on you?” He took another step. His face turned into a smirk. “If he knew about your little sob-fest in the bathroom at the Grand Prix, he’d realize there’s no point in training a big cry baby like you.” I was getting pissed and fuming with anger. Yuuri told me about what had happened that night. It still pisses me off to this day. However Yuuri didn’t seem fazed, he actually smirked. I felt myself smile. That’s my Yuuri!

“I don’t know what history you and Viktor have. You should talk to him yourself.” Yuuri turned and started walking towards the rink. I joined him. “It’s not like I made Viktor come to Hasetsu. He came because he wanted to be my coach.” I heard stomping behind us as Yuri followed us inside the rink. I let out a cough as the cold air attacked my lungs. I took a deep breath to hold down more upcoming coughs. I just need to adjust.

“I recognize those moves.” Yuri thought aloud. I saw Viktor skating on the ice. “They’re for the short program Viktor was choreographing for next season.”

“What?” Yuuri asked.

“Before he decided to come here, Viktor was putting together routines for next season. But he was really torn. Surprising the audience has always been what he cared about most. For years the skating world has worshipped him. Now no matter what he does, no one’s surprised anymore. He knows that and it really eats at him. He doesn’t feel inspired, and without inspiration, you’re as good as dead.” There was a moment of silence. “I wonder if he’ll let me use his program. He doesn’t need it if he’s gonna take off this season.” Wow, he is blunt. I was about to make a comment but I saw a spark in his eyes. A small spark, almost unnoticeable.

“Huh?” Yuuri asked.

“If he’ll give me a chance, I know I can surprise the audience. I’m going to make my debut as a senior and win the Grand Prix Final. But I need Viktor’s help to do it!”

“Wow, you’re confident.” Yuuri told him.

“Almost too confident.” I muttered to myself. I jumped as Yuri yelled to Viktor.

“Hey, Viktor! You got time for a little chat?” Viktor stopped, giving Yuri a wave.

“Hey, I didn’t know you were here! I’m surprised Yakov let you come. You need something?” Yuri grabbed onto the wall tightly. Looking like he was going to blow a gasket. “Uh oh! That’s not a happy face!” He said somewhat teasing. I giggled and Yuri looked over at me. “Let me guess: I forgot to do something I said I would do?”

Viktor let out a laugh after Yuri told Viktor what he promised.

“Yeah, I remember now. It totally slipped my mind! I’m sorry, you know how I forget stuff sometimes.” Yuri had his head down. Shaking in anger/disappointment.

“Yeah, painfully aware.” He muttered. Then he looked up at Viktor. “But I’m holding you to your promise! You’ll choreograph my new program as you said. We’re going back to Russia!” I saw Yuuri’s eyes flashed with fear that this would all go away. He looked at Viktor, who was thinking.

“Okay, I’ve got it!” Viktor said with a smile. “I’m going to choreograph a program for you three to the same music.”

“Huh?!” All three of us shouted. 

“The same music as them?! Yuri shouted. /Choreograph all of us? Yuuri questioned. /But I’m not competing! I yelled.” All at the same time.

“First of all don’t worry boys. This piece has three different arrangements so nothing will be the same. And second, Karissa you will compete. I found the perfect place for you to find actual competition.” I gave him a curious glance. “The reason there are three was because I’ve been trying to decide which one to use. I’ll design three programs using different portions of the same song. The programs will be revealed in one week. Yuri and Yuuri will compete to see which one can surprise the audience more!”

“Whoa! A competition? Is that really necessary?” Yuuri said nervously.

“The catch is Viktor has to do whatever the winner wants. What do you say?” Yuri asked, being cocky.

“Perfect! I love this sort of thing!” Viktor was dewy-eyed.

“Will Karissa be competing?” Yuuri asked. Both Yu(u)ri’s looked at me.

“Yes, but her competing with end up with a different result.” 

“How so?” I asked. I placed a hand on my hip.

“Because you will be in the competition not to win a bet but to show to the ISU that you can keep up with the boys.” All three of us were confused. “I may have talked to the ISU about having you compete in the Men’s Grand Prix Final.”

“What?!” I yelled.

“No way!” Yuuri shouted.

“She’ll be competing with us at the Grand Prix Final?!” Yuri yelled.

“Since I have a high standing being a five-year gold medalist they were easy to convince.” He got serious. “However Karissa, how you perform will be what truly decides. Only if you can prove you can keep up with the two of them. It’s to test your skills.” He said, matter-a-factly. “I know this is different but this way you can compete with other competitors who issue you a challenge. I have faith that you can take advantage of this opportunity.”

“Very well,” I said. “I’m ready to show what I got.”

“Wait just a minute.” I heard the Triplets say.

“If you want to use our rink, you better let us in on the action. You got me? An epic face-off between Russia, Japan, and the USA. It’s gonna be big! Let’s get ready to rumble!”

=====

After I took a bath in the hot springs I was eating something as good as grandpas’ pirozhki. I was scarfing down a pork cutlet bowl.

“Can’t beat a pork cutlet bowl.” Viktor told me.

“Where are Karissa and fatso?” I questioned.

“So Yuri,” Viktor said, ignoring me. “What’s it like seeing Karissa again?” I started to choke on my food. 

“It’s not a big deal.” I tried to playoff.

“You can’t fool me. I know you had a crush on her a few years back after that competition. You would watch all of her competitions and even try and skate to them.” I felt embarrassed.

“Well, things have changed.” I grunted out. I continued to eat. 

“Whatever you say.” He said. I saw Karissa and fatso come to sit down at the table. She was wearing a sweatshirt with the Pigs face on it. She sat across from with a pork cutlet bowl of her own. It’s so weird seeing her today.

“Jeez, Yuuri, you have another visitor?” A girl said opening the door.

“Huh?” I asked turning to look at her. She let out a yell. I let out a groan, another Yuri’s Angel.

“His name is Yuri too.” The other one, who was pigs mom said. 

“Huh? That’s just gonna be confusing. We’ll call you Yurio.” She said, pointing to me.

“Huh?” I yelled.

“So where will Yurio be sleeping?”

“Upstairs?” Piggy answered.

“What? In the storage room? It’s going to need a major cleaning first. Yuuri, come help me.” She told him. Piggy got up from the table. I looked over and saw Karissa laughing.

“What are you laughing at?” I questioned. She held back laughter

“Yurio is kinda cute, especially for the Ice Tiger of Russia.” I let out a growl which caused her to bust out laughing again. “So fierce.” I glared at her but her laugh was cute. She then came into a coughing fit. 

“Are you dying?” I said. She kept coughing, trying to breathe. What’s up with her? She grabbed her glass and drank the whole thing. She took some deep breaths.

“Sorry…” She muttered. “Excuse me.” I watched as she got up and walked away. What was that about?”

I sat on my bed and coughed up mucus. I put on the mask and laid down on my bed. I covered my face with my pillow. I can’t believe I just did that in front of them. I pulled out my phone and checked Phichit’s Instagram. He had just posted a new selfie in Thailand. I really miss him.

The next day all four of us made our way to Ice Castle. I was on the back of Viktor’s bike. Yurio was keeping up beside me and Yuuri was slightly behind.

“Lovely day isn’t it.” Viktor told the fisherman who is always there.

“Morning Viktor.” He called back.

“Be polite Yurio, say hi.” Viktor told Yurio.

“I told you I’m not answering to that name!” He shouted. We had the whole rink to ourselves which was nice. All three of us tied up our skates ready to go on the ice. Viktor put all three of us in front of him.

“We will start by listening to the music.” He pressed play with a remote. I heard the soft tone of a woman singing. It was slow and timid. I closed my eyes and listened more in-depth. “This piece has three arrangements. Each with a different theme. The title of it is ‘On Love: Eros, Sorrow, and Agape’. Have you ever spent much time thinking about love?”

“Nyet.” Yurio answered.

“Alright then. How does this song make you feel? What does it say to you?”

“It has a very pure, innocent sound to it, like someone who hasn’t experienced love yet.” Yuuri answered. 

“I agree. I feel like she is wishing she could find someone to love her.” I added.

“Whatever, I think it sucks,” Yurio stated. “This innocent crap makes me want to puke.” I rolled my eyes at him.

“Okay.” Viktor changed it. This one was different, it was so downhearted it. It was a mix of vocals and music.

“This is slightly different.” Yuuri muttered.

“This one has to be sorrow. She is mourning the loss of a loved one or the fact she doesn’t have love. It’s hard for me to tell. The music is like her tears.” I pictured out loud. This is almost too sad.

“Too moppy for me.” Yurio spat out.

“Next.” The next song was very upbeat compared to the other two. It sounds like there filled with excitement. 

“I call dibs!” Yurio yelled out. “This is the one I want to skate to.” Yurio looked over at us.

“The first arrangement is On Love: Agape, the theme is unconditional love. The second one was On Love: Sorrow, it’s about the sorrow of loss or missing love. This one is On Love: Eros, the theme is sexual love. I’m going to have the three of you skate to these opposing themes. Here are your assignments. He pointed to Yuuri. “You get Eros.” He pointed to Yurio. “You get Agape.” He looked at me. “And you get Sorrow.” The boys let out a gasp in surprise but I knew I would get sorrow. I could tell by Viktor.

“We should switch! That’s so not me!” Yurio yelled.

“You should always try to do the exact opposite of what people are expecting from you. How else can you surprise them? That’s my motto. The truth is: you’re actually both far more mediocre than you think. You need to be more self-aware.” Viktor kept a smile on his face the entire time he spoke. “I’m surprised you don’t realize how much work you need to do on your images. Right now to the audience, you are a piglet, a kitten, and a puppy. You had better be up to my standards by next week or I won’t continue to work with either of you and I’ll pull Karissa from the Grand Prix Final. But don’t worry, as fans of mine, I’m sure you’ll manage.”

“Okay fine, I’ll skate to Agape.” Yurio took a step towards Viktor. My senior division debut depends on it! But you had better give me a program that I can win with!” He yelled at Viktor.

“Whether you win or not is up to you. It would be a winning program if I skated it.” Yurio gritted his teeth and scratched the ice with his skate, flinging pieces towards Viktor.”

“If I win you are coming back to Russia with me. Okay? And you’ll be my coach. Well, do you accept those terms?”

“Hmm, I do.” Viktor agreed. Yurio had a look with triumph in his face. Viktor looked to Yuuri. “Well, what do you want from me? If you win, what is your reward.”

“To eat with you, pork cutlet bowl.” Yuuri answered.

“Huh?” Viktor asked.

“I want to keep on winning and keep on eating pork cutlet bowls. So I’ll skate to Eros, Viktor! And I’ll give it all the Eros I’ve got in me!” Viktor sported a proud smile.

“Good! That’s what I like to hear!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not sure if the ISU is the right terms for what I need. I did research and the ISU is the International Skating Union, I figured that was best for what I needed. If not, let me know.
> 
> While doing research, I read an article about female Russian skaters, one who completed three out of her four planned Quads at the age of 15. These girls are amazing and I wanted to share it. It's helped inspire me to write.
> 
> https://olympics.nbcsports.com/2019/12/13/grand-prix-final-results-women-revolution/


	6. On Love: Sorrow

“First, Yurio’s program,” Viktor said. “This is On Love: Agape.” The music started the way Viktor was skated had a sense of innocence but beauty at the same time. As beautiful as it is, it’s a tough routine to work with. I wonder how the Russian Punk will pull this off. Viktor finished off with his pose, hands clasped together in the air as he leaned back slightly. “Something like that.” Viktor came upright. “Whatcha think?”

“Yeah. I got it. No problem.” That caused Yuuri to let out a gasp.

“Karissa, you’re up next.” I gave him a nod. “On Love: Sorrow.” The music stated Viktor danced but this time instead of innocence it was sadness, but he still made it look beautiful. Almost like the song was about a beautiful sorrow. The woman singing sounded like she was morning the loss of someone dear. I will admit it looks difficult but I can pull it off. Viktor ended with his arms crossed like an X in front of his face, he lowered it to show his eyes. He turned to look at me. “I want you to focus on how sorrow has affected your growth in this piece. Think you can do it?”

“How it’s affected my growth, huh?” I asked. I let out a scoff. “That should be no problem.” I heard clapping from beside us. I looked over and saw Yuko clapping.

“Wow. Really! So beautiful.” She said.

“Hey. Who said this chick could watch?” Yurio grunted out. I kicked him in the shin and glared at him. He bit his lip and glared back.

“Be nice, she’s the reason we can practice here.” I told him.

“This is Yuko. One of the staff here at the ice rink.” Yuuri explained.

“I shouldn’t have interrupted your practice, but it was just so wonderful. Sorry.” Yurio almost seemed remorseful.

“This one is yours Yuuri, so pay attention!” Viktor called to him.

“Yeah. Right.” Yuuri told him. 

“On Love: Eros.” The music started, very fast-paced. Viktor moved his body. Then glanced towards us and gave one of the sexiest looks I’ve ever seen. It felt as if the air was taken out of my lungs but in a good way. 

“I need help over here!” I heard Yurio yell. I snapped out of my daze and saw Yuko on the ground with a giant nose bleed. Yurio was trying to help her. I got to my knees next to her. I grabbed my sweat towel to help her stop the blood flow.

“Thank you.” She said, snapping out of her daze, she held the towel to her nose. Luckily the sexy routine was over so she was able to get back up. As I helped her up Viktor was talking to Yuuri about jumps.

“Well, I can do the toe loop. And the Salchow in practice but I’ve never landed it in competition. But maybe I should still give it a shot?! What do you think?” Yuuri asked.

“Just stick to practicing your fundamentals for now. I’ll work with Yurio and Karissa first. I have no intention of wasting the day trying to teach you something you can’t do.” I saw Yurio have a cocky look on his face. Psh. Bastard. “How many times have you choked during a competition Yuuri? You’ve shown you have the skill to win. Why can’t you?”

“Probably, cause I don’t have a whole lot of confidence.” Yuuri said bowing his head.

“That’s right. What I want to do is help you find that confidence and embrace it.” I watched as Viktor skated right up to Yuuri and held his chin and touched his bottom lip. Viktor was too quiet to hear but it changed something in Yuuri.

“You’re supposed to be teaching me! Not chatting with the piggy!” Yurio yelled. I facepalmed, he is either dumb or just doesn’t care.

“Yeah.” Viktor called back before telling Yuuri something else.

=====

I can’t believe I have to share Viktor with Karissa. She knows what she’s doing so why does she need his help? I watched as Karissa unzipped her USA jacket and shrugged it off. She was wearing a sports bra and leggings. She pulled off her glasses, setting them on the wall. Then she took her hair back and tied it into a ponytail. Wow. I never expected her to look so…my thoughts ended as I was flicked in the forehead.

“What the hell?!” I shouted. I looked up and saw Karissa, one hand on her hip.

“Try not to get distracted,” She told me before getting on the ice.

“Whatever Blue.” I grunted out and skating towards Viktor.

Viktor has been switching between me and Karissa all day. She performs, he critiques and she rests. Then I skate, he critiques and I rest. It’s a cycle. Karissa was currently sitting on the bleachers with her headphones.

“Stop, stop!” Viktor shouted at me. I had my hands on my knees, trying to catch my breath. Something just doesn’t feel right here.”

“But I’m doing it like you showed me!” I argued back.

“The way you’re performing it now, your hunger for victory is too obvious. You aren’t projecting the essential purity that is Agape. It’s good to have confidence. But in this program, it shouldn’t be front and center.”

“If you want Purity, give it to Karissa!” I yelled. “She has more Agape than I do! And when you skate confidence is always ‘front and center’. So how about you tell me what Agape means to you?”

“It’s an emotion so why waste time trying to put it into words, you know? When you skate, it’s about what you feel, not what you think. Haven’t you figured that out yet?” I looked at him jaw dropped. Are you serious? 

=====

“Where’s Yurio going?” I asked as Yurio went a different way than us. We were both on Viktors bike as we rode back to the hot springs.

“He’s going to the temple,” Viktor told me. That seemed ominous. I can’t wait to get home and get some oxygen. My lungs have burned all day and the inhaler stopped working halfway through today. Viktor has been working me to the bone, making sure everything is perfect. He told me the judges will be extra nit-picky.

“Why did you pick the sorrow version for me?” I asked suddenly. Viktor kept his eyes ahead and didn’t say anything. I rested my head into his back when I heard his answer.

“I see sorrow in your eyes.”

I quickly stuffed clothes into my suitcase. I can’t stand it here anymore. I grabbed my phone and pulled up the email Celestino asking me to join him for training in Detroit. I closed my suitcase and grabbed my skating bag. I quickly made my way downstairs, hoping to make it out the door before-.

“Karissa Faye.” I stopped in my tracks, not turning around. I winced at her voice. “Where do you think you're going?”

“To train in Detroit.” I told her, biting my tongue afterward.

“And just leave me here, after everything I’ve done for you. You want to throw away your life, your career to skate.”

“I love skating mom. I can make it work, I can be successful. Just because dad-”

“Don’t talk about your father!” She slammed her hand on the counter.

“Just because he couldn’t do it, doesn’t mean I can’t.” I told her, going towards the door.

“Don’t you dare walk out that door! If you do, don’t ever come back!”

I sat up with a gasp, tears rolling down my face. I was struggling to breathe. 

I got out of bed, wincing as my feet touched the ground. I lightly limped into the kitchen. It was completely empty in the house. I grabbed a container of fruit and sat on the counter eating. I don’t know why I dreamed about that. I haven’t had a dream like that in a while. Maybe that’s what Viktor meant about sorrow. I pulled out my phone wanting to text Phichit but it was too late. I clenched my phone.

“What are you doing up?” Someone asked me. I jumped, hitting my head on the cabinet.

“Ow…” I muttered, rubbing my head. I saw Yurio reach into the fridge and grab a bottle of water.” He jumped onto the counter across from me. “I can’t sleep. And normally to relax I go to the rink but it’s too far and too cold.” I saw him glance down. My feet were swollen, bruised and cut up from practicing.

“Tch. You need to take better care of your feet.” He told me.

“They’re fine. They just look bad.” I told him. He gave me a dirty look. He jumped off the counter and walked over. He grabbed my foot and I let out a hiss of pain.

“Get down.” He told me, I couldn’t see his face.

“What?” I let out a yelp as Yurio grabbed me by the waist and threw me over his shoulder.

“What are you doing?” I whispered/yelled at him. Other people were sleeping so I was trying to be quiet. He didn’t say anything. I’m kinda surprised he could pick me up, as little as he looks. He carried me to the bathroom, setting me on the counter. 

“Stay here.” He walked away and I sat there confused. Is it because I’m tired that I can’t process what’s happening? He came back with a bag. He grabbed a cotton ball and covered it with peroxide. He started to rub it into the foot.

“Ow!” I shouted. It stung as it touched my wounds. I tried to move away but he grabbed my foot.

“Hold still.” He told me. 

“You’re a jerk.” I mumbled. He ignored me. After he used the peroxide he wiped my feet with water then patted them down.

“How do you not know how to bandage your own feet?” He asked me, clearly annoyed.

“No one taught me.” I said quietly. He looked at me with a look of sympathy. Now that I look at my feet I noticed a lot of scars from the past.

“You have to take care of them. You’re lucky that you never had a bad infection. If you did, it could have damaged your feet permanently.” He put Neosporin on my feet and started to bandage them.

“Thank you.” I told him. 

“It’s not a big deal, Blue.” He said.

“Blue?” I questioned. I guess it’s because of the blue streak in my hair.

“Well if I have an awful nickname, you get to have one too.” He told me.

“Sure.” I smiled.

Viktor has had us on nothing but training mode for these past couple days. We start off the morning, working with Viktor individually with our routines. Making sure everything is perfect. Even when I think it’s perfect, it still isn’t enough.

After our training at the rink, we do endurance training. Running around town and upstairs. Basic exercises and stretches to help us with skating. And gym workouts to keep us in shape for the big day.

It’s back and forth like clockwork and honestly, my body hates me.

I sat with the boys. Both Yu(u)ri’s were under a waterfall, trying to better understand there Agape and Eros. Since I already figured out how Sorrow has affected me, he let me come with the boys. Either to help or make sure they actually do it. These past few days have killed me. My chest has been burning. It’s getting to the point where I’ve been wheezing instead of normal breathing. Viktor asked me and I told him I had some allergies. He seemed to buy it for now.

“I’m going to kill him.” Yurio muttered from the waterfall.

“Why am I here too?” Yuuri asked. 

“This is so stupid. Really. I mean who believes in unconditional love, anyway?” Yurio thought aloud. I placed my chin against my knees and listened to the waterfall. It was peaceful to listen to. I noticed Yurio had a fall off look in his eyes. That doesn’t seem right.

“Yurio?” I asked. He didn’t respond. Yuuri looked over at him concerned. “Yurio!” I got up and grabbed Yurio by the shoulders, pulling him out from under the water. I was getting wet in the process but I didn’t care. I saw his eyes snap open. And in his eyes, I saw vulnerability and love.

“Are you alright?” Yuuri asked him. “Why don’t we call it a day?” Yurio let out a gasp. Almost if he just came awake.

“Okay.” He responded. He looked at me for a moment before turning away and sneezing. He looks so different.

It was the next day, and that means only one day until the Exhibition. We were at Ice Castle, lacing up our skates, waiting for Viktor. He went out for ramen and never came back.

“I can’t believe he hasn’t shown up.” Yuuri muttered.

“Especially before the competition.” I responded.

“They said he was drinking until dawn. Stupid.” Yurio told us.

“Hey, guys.” We looked over at Yuuri.

“Yeah?” Yurio asked. Yuuri placed his hands together.

“Will you teach me how to land a quad Salchow? Please?” Quad Salchow. Viktor tried to keep that away from Yuuri. Not only that, but Viktor wanted us to avoid helping each other one on one when it came to the ice. We all three went to the ice.

“To repeat the basics, you have to go into a Salchow with a backward entry,” I told Yuuri. Yurio followed what I was saying, skating backward. “Then you pivot your body to ready yourself for the jump. Make sure to bend your knees before moving your leg across to start the rotation. Then you spin-off your toe to do the jump.” Yurio went into the jump landing a beautiful quad Salchow.

“Now you try,” Yurio said, skating over next to me. Yuuri skated around the rink, trying to pick up speed to the do the jump. Yuuri went into the jump just fine, he just missed the landing and hit the ice. I skated over to Yuuri, helping him get up. “You really suck Pork Cutlet Bowl. I’ll show you one more time.”

“Sorry, I’m late.” All three of us looked over and saw Viktor walk it. “Hey there, what you practicing just now?” Busted. We looked between each other for a moment.

“Let’s just play this cool.” Yuuri told us. We skated off to our own spots. I was watching Yurio skate. He seemed so filled with Agape, unlike before when it was about the program. I can see the unconditional love in him. It’s beautiful.

Later that night Viktor pulled out all of the costumes he had shipped from his place to Russia, hoping for us to find one to wear. Yuuri was going through each costume, fanboying over each one.

“Did he seriously wear all this crap?” Yurio asked.

“Wow! This one is from the Grand Prix Final!” Yuuri yelled in excitement.

“Hey! Don’t pick anything flashier than me!” I let out a sigh as I looked over the mountains of costumes, none of which I would be able to wear.

“Viktor. I don’t think any of these will work.” I told him as he watched the boys rummage through the clothes.

“No need to worry. I already have yours picked out.” He patted my head. 

“Picked out?” I tilted my head.

“An outfit from when I competed in the European Finals. I asked Yuko to modify it to fit you.”

=====

I stood by Viktor taking a drink of water. It was Karissa’s turn to practice. She gave Viktor a nod. He turned on the music. She started to skate. I noticed when she is entranced into her skating, she closes her eyes. Almost as if to tune out everything else. Watching her, I could feel the sorrow she was showing. The sorrow of losing love. The sorrow of losing yourself. The sorrow of being on your own. The sorrow of losing skating. Even though it was sorrowful, it was beautiful to see. She finished her routine, panting hard. 

“Very beautiful. Try working on your posture next go round.” She gave a nod before slowly skating over.

“Geeze, even after all that exercise, you can’t handle a single routine?” I told her. I don’t know why I always have to be like this when it comes to her. It just comes out. She skated by me, not saying anything before heading to the locker rooms.

=====

Once the door shut I leaned my back against it, falling to the floor. I let out a gasping wheeze as I tried to get air into my lungs. I started to cough in a fit. I really need oxygen, I can’t breathe. I started to panic. I can’t compete like this. How can the judges even let me in the Men’s Grand Prix? Yurio’s right. I can’t handle a single short routine without dying. My skating career is running out of time. I balled my hands and placed them into my chest, trying to stop the pain. I choked back a sob, biting my lip. 

Now I truly understand Sorrow.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you guys enjoyed! Let me know what you guys think. I love input. 
> 
> Currently, I am working on getting ready to move in for college so chapters may be sparse. I will try my hardest to keep up with it but I can not promise anything. I hope to update every other week after this.
> 
> Hope this new year has been good to you!


	7. Face-Off! Hot Springs on Ice

It was the day of the competition. I was wearing the costume Viktor had customized for me personally, using one of his costumes from when he competed at the European Finals.

“Are you sure about this Yuko?” I asked. She had already done my make up and was fixing my hair.

“Trust me. It’s going to be so spot on to how Viktor looked.” She had pulled my hair into a ponytail like Viktor had but she pulled my hair to the sides on my head. She made them wavy and put purple flowers in it.

“I don’t know if I can do this.” I told her honestly. I bowed my head, Not wanting to look at myself. “I mean, do I even have a chance at making it with a boys in the finals.”

“Karissa.” I glanced back at Yuko. She had a determined look on her face. “I’ve seen you practice here, every day. You are just as skilled and maybe even more skilled than the boys. You have won three gold at the Junior and a gold at the Senior level. And your only 16. You can do this. Not only to prove what you can do, but what other female figure skaters can do as well. You represent all of us out there.” I felt my eyes tear up. “So hold your head high. Show us what you can do!”

“Yuko...I-”

“Don’t cry!” She shouted. She quickly grabbed a tissue to dab on my eye, making the tear go away. “That was a close call. We can’t ruin your makeup.” I felt myself giggle.

“Thanks Yuko.” I pulled her into a hug. “You’re the best.”

I stood next to both Yu(u)ri’s waiting for our TV interview. I noticed a group of men in suits walking towards me. They were from the ISU.

“Karissa Faye.” One greeted me. I shook his hand. “Were from the ISU to judge your performance.”

“Thank you for this opportunity.” I told him. He leaned closer to me.

“Don’t think this is going to be a walk in the park. In the Men’s we take ourselves seriously.” He pulled away and the group walked away. I could almost feel steam coming from my ears. Man this pisses me off. Morooka came over, ready for the interview.

“We’re at Ice Castle Hasetsu, venue of the Hasetsu Exhibition: Hot Springs on Ice.” Yuuri looks stiff as a board and nervous. Yurio looked like he was trying to melt the camera with his glare. “I’m here before the face-off to interview our three competitors: Yuuri Katsuki, Yuri Plisetsky and Karissa Faye. You three will be performing short programs choreographed for you by Viktor Nikiforov. Tell us, how are you feeling going into the competition?” Morooka asked Yuuri first.

“Well…” He stuttered. Wow, he’s nervous. “You know, I’m sure looking forward to a dip in the hot springs after-”

“You’re here to promote yourself,” Morooka whispered to him. “Not the family business.”

“This sport doesn’t need two Yu(u)ri’s.” Yurio cut in. “I’ll crush him.”

“That’s what we want to hear! Spasibo, spasibo!” Morooka went to me. “And Karissa Faye. She has won gold in the Women’s Grand Prix Finals at 16. Today, while she may be competing, she is using this opportunity to judged, and could be accepted into the Men’s Grand Prix Final. Any input?” I took a breath.

“I want to thank ISU and Viktor for giving me this rare opportunity. I know people don’t understand how I would want to compete in the Men’s Finals. But for me, I want to show everyone how serious female figure skaters can be. With this performance, I will be giving it my all to prove myself.”

“What a bold statement! I can’t wait to see what she has in store for us!” I felt myself sigh in relief. I glanced over at my judges. Just wait. “And now, last but not least, let’s hear from the architect of this showdown, Viktor Nikiforov!” I let out a groan as I looked at Viktor. He was wearing a blue and white kimono. He was holding a paper fan and wore a sash that read ‘Hasetsu Tourism Ambassador’.

“Hi! If you’ve never been to hasetsu, you’re missing out!” He said cheerfully.

“Let’s put the fan down? Okay?” Yuuri asked him.

“You’re making this look like a cheap publicity stunt!” Yurio told him, pointing at Viktor. “We’re starting soon. You’d better be ready to pick a winner!”

“Today decides which of us you’re going to coach.” Yuuri reminded him.

“And helps place me in the Men’s Finals.” I added in. Hands resting on my hips.

“Right…I said that huh?” Viktor asked.

“You forgot, didn’t you?” Yurio practically growled.

I had my headphones on and was using the wall to do some stretches. Both Yu(u)ri’s were preparing as well.

“Yurio!” I heard Yuko call. I turned down my music and looked over. “You’re up in just a minute.” Yurio looked almost nervous. He unzipped his Russian jacket. I felt my jaw drop at his costume. It looked like a complete 180. From edgy Ice Tiger to innocent Russian Fairy. Yuko let out a squeal and started to fangirl. “No way! I remember that costume from Viktor’s Junior days! I never thought I would actually get to see it in person.” Yurio seemed almost embarrassed. “It’s just so beautiful.”

“You are gushing all kinds of fluids.” Yurio told her. I let out a laugh at Yuko’s extreme nose bleed.

“It looks perfect on you! Good luck!” She told him.

“Spasibo.” Thank you.

“Whoops, you need to go.” She started to push him up the stairs. “Your audience is waiting.” Yuko gave him one last shove, up the stairs.

=====

I did my normal skate around the ice, greeting the crowd. I got into position. Steadying myself.

“Yurio!” I glanced up and saw Karissa yelling. “Davai!” I felt myself smile.

=====

The music started to play. Yurio performed his opening movements. I knew he had a jump coming up so this opening was just to pick to his speed.

“Here comes his first jump, a triple axel.” Yurio landed the axel, making it look seamless and beautiful. “Excellent.” Yurio did some small spins, trying to entrance the audience. He began to skate backward before doing a small jump into a spin. I could feel how intense this was. He looked amazing out there. I can’t take my eyes off him.

In this program, he looks so gentle and loving, something I’ve never seen fully. He skated towards me and I saw his eyes catch mine. I let out a small gasp. His eyes beautiful, and remind me of how he looked at the waterfall. I watched him perform a step sequence. He is beautiful and a relentless monster at the same time.

“Here come the quads he wasn’t previously allowed to perform. Daring to put them in the second half of the program?” Yurio completed a quadruple Salchow, flawless. “A quadruple Salchow,” I watched him go into his next jump. “Followed by a triple toe loop.” He landed the toe loop and the crowd cheered. “That’s one down and one to go!” There was more step work. I held my breath knowing his final jump was coming up.

“And here comes the final jump of the program. A quadruple toe loop.” I watched Yurio jump into the air, landing the toe loop. I let go of the breath I was holding. Amazing! “He landed every single jump. It’s hard to believe that he’s only 15 years old.” Yurio did his ending step work, making the performance even better. Not every routine is about the jumps. I watched as something changed inside Yurio...what happened.

=====

‘Sorry, Grandpa.’ I felt myself start to get frustrated. ‘I’m too busy concentrating on the program...I cannot feel Agape.’

=====

“His signature move, the combination spin.” I watched as Yurio went into the spin. This one is one of my favorites. However, it felt rushed. Yurio stuck his final pose and the crowd went nuts. “A masterful performance! We have a lot to look forward to this season!”

=====

‘It wasn’t enough. I’m better than this.’ I was panting hard.

“Yurio!” Viktor called out. “That was the best performance I’ve seen from you so far!” I made my way off the ice.

“Up next is Karissa Faye. We’ll take five minutes to allow the judges to set up.” They announced. I slipped on my jacket, covering my costume.

“You ready Blue?” I asked. Waiting for an answer. I looked over and saw her looking towards the judges. I could tell her mind was running a mile a minute. She was panicking. I grabbed her shoulders. “Blue!” She let out a gasp, looking as if I snapped her out of a trance. Her eyes looked so bright and vulnerable. “Calm down. Look at me and not the judges.” She took a shaky breath, looking at me.

“Karissa.” Viktor said coming over. I let go of her. Viktor grabbed her shoulders and steadied her. “Stop focusing on the judges. It’s exactly what they want, they want to try and break you. They are going to be tough on your performance, it’s guaranteed.” How is that supposed to make her feel better? “However they are just a roadblock trying to stop you. Breakthrough it. Show them how you’re sorrow has made you grow and triumph.” She gave him a determined nod.

“Yuuri.” Karissa said, pulling him into a hug.

“You got this.” She gave him a smile, unzipping her jacket. Piggy helped her pull it off her jacket. She took her glasses off, handing them to Viktor. I felt my jaw drop. Her costume sparkled in the light of the spotlights. She was practically glowing. It was beautiful.

=====

I took a breath, skating onto the ice. I could hear the announcers talking, but I zoned them out. All that matters is what I bring to the ice. The music started, at first, it was slow, telling a story of how beautiful love was to her. I started to skate across the ice, making use of my step work to make it look like I was a ballerina dancing across the ice.

“Here comes her first jump. she plans a Triple Axel.” I completed the Axel, anding perfectly. “That was amazing.” She just took a leap of faith, throwing herself to love. I need to put love into this upcoming movements. All the love I’ve experienced from Yuuri, Phichit, Viktor, Yurio, Yuko and everyone else who supported me. They matter at this moment.

The music toned down and suddenly stopped. I dropped my body limply, waiting for the music to kick in again. This is where the sorrow comes into play. The woman has lost her lover, now distraught and lost. The music came back suddenly. I snapped my head up, changing my movements to seem frantic. She was so lost she couldn’t see straight.

“And now a double lutz, single loop, triple salchow.” I went into each jump, landing each one. “She made that look effortless.” Effortless my ass. That almost killed me. The jumps are to represent her trying to fight back her sadness. But it just keeps hitting her over and over again.

I crossed my arms over my chest, crouched down as I spun, moving across the ice. This was the woman reaching her breaking point, losing hope. I slowly reached my arms up towards the sky, still spinning. I snapped out of the spin and skate backward. “That spin was beautiful.”

Now my movements have to seem tense. The song started to get more dramatic. I skated around the ice “Next is a Quadruple toe loop, which will be an amazing feat at this point in her program.” I took a breath, positioning myself. I jumped, rotating four times before landing. “Even with all that fatigue she must be feeling, she keeps going!” I started to pant.

Now comes the finale. I skated backward, going into a spin. One foot off the ice as I spun. The woman has given up now. I came out of the spin as the song suddenly ended. I fell to one knee, crossing my arms over my chest, looking up at the sky. I heard the crowd cheer and I panted.

“That performance was amazing and one she should be proud of!”

=====

“That was beautiful Karissa!” Viktor yelled to her. “Nothing but perfection!”

I couldn’t take my eyes off of her the entire time. She looked like she owned the ice. Even though her piece was sorrowful, all I could see was a beauty. She started to skate off the ice and towards us.

“That was amazing!” Yuuri told her. She kept walking past us as if we weren’t there.

“Blue?” I asked. She made it to the tunnel. As soon as she did her legs began to shake before she fell to her knees.

“Karissa.” Viktor ran over. She sat on her knees, panting hard, holding the wall with her hand. Now that I look her whole body was shaking. “Talk to me.” Both me and Piggy went over.

“I’m okay…” She said, trying to catch her breath. The performance must have pushed her to her limits. “Sorry...I just...didn’t want them...to see me..like that.” Piggy pulled her into a hug. She held onto his jacket, tightly. “Was it enough?” She looked at the point of tears.

“You were so beautiful out there.” He told her. “There’s no way they could say no.” Viktor handed her her glasses and she put them on. When she did, one of her flower clips fell out of her hair. I quickly grabbed it off the ground. I held it in my hand, looking at it.

“Coming Yurio?” Viktor asked.

=====

I sat on one of the benches waiting. All the boys were sitting with me. I sat there shaking my leg, nervously. We were waiting for them to come to a decision.

“Don’t be nervous.” Viktor told me, resting his hand on mine. “You were beautiful out there.” I door opened and I straightened myself out, keeping myself complaced. I stood up to meet them.

“We have come to our conclusion.” I held my breath for a moment. “I’m sorry, but we don't think your fit to compete with the Men's Finals.” I felt my heart drop. What?

“That’s bull!” Yurio stood up suddenly. “She performed flawlessly! How could she not be fit to compete?!”

“Contain yourself Plisetsky.” One of them said. “She had an amazing performance however the Men’s will be a different story. The performance wouldn’t have kept up with the standards we expect to see.” I clenched my fists.

“You’re scared.” I muttered.

“Excuse me.” They asked.

“This whole time you have been extra critical with me, more than any contestant before. You want to use this as an opportunity to prove your right about me. If you want to be right, you would have me compete and want everyone to see me fail." I gave them a smirk. "So you must be scared that I'll show up the men in the competition.” A moment passed in silence.

"Fine. You will be able to compete.” I felt myself burst with joy. “However you have to follow the regulations we give you."

"Very well." I shook the hand of the one in charge.

"Don't make me regret this." They quickly left the room. As soon as the door closed I tackled Viktor into a hug.

“Thank you! Thank you!" I said excitedly. Finally some good completion.

“You did all of this. I just got you in.” Viktor told me with a smile.

“Congrats. I knew you would make it.” Yuuri said. I pulled him into a hug. I glanced at Yurio.

“Come on.” I held my hands out for a hug

“No.” He said bluntly.

“Please.” I said using my puppy dog eyes. He ignored me. Fine. “Look a kitten!” I pointed off to the distance. He looked to where I pointed. I smirked as I hugged him from behind.

=====

I felt her arms wrap around me and I started to blush. Oh god. What do I do?

“Get off of me!” I yelled. She let go and let out a laugh.

"What's wrong? Kitty doesn't like to be held." She teased.

=====

Up next was Yuuri. I could tell nerves were getting the best of him. He stood, hands in his head. His anxiety was taking over. I was about to move over to help him but saw Viktor come over to him. Yuuri held back a gasp, covering his mouth. He said something before pulling Viktor into a hug. I’m glad Yuuri has found someone else to support him.

“Introducing our next skater. Representing Japan.” Yurio stood beside me as I leaned against the wall. “A late bloomer who’s become a rising star. Yuri Katsuki!” The crowd cheered for Yuuri.

“Good luck Yuuri!” I yelled.

“He will be skating to On Love: Eros. He struggled with how to express eros, but found inspiration thinking of his favorite dish, a pork cutlet bowl.” Damn right! Be a sexy pork cutlet bowl Yuuri! His song started to play, as he performed his opening moves. I saw his look to the side, that was amazing. I heard Viktor let out a quiet whistle.

The song picked up as Yuuri focused on his step work for the first half. His step work is always top-notch. And today is no exception. I could feel the Eros he was displaying, just from his movements. This performance felt different from his others. His movements seemed more feminine. It’s like he’s a whole new person, reborn again. Beautiful.

“That step sequence was pure seduction. I find it hard to believe he’s imagining a pork cutlet bowl.” I felt myself smile. That’s it Yuuri, keep it up! “Now we have a spread eagle into a triple axel.” He landed it perfectly and I let out a cheer. He’s already doing so much better than three months ago.

He skated around the rink going into his next jump. The dreaded Quadruple Salchow he landed once in practice. He went into the jump touching his hand down. “Whoops! He stepped out of the quad Sal.”

“Come on Yuuri.” I said to myself. I know when he misses a jump it flares his anxiety and causes him to miss jumps. Keep it together. I know you can. One mistake doesn’t mean it’s over. You’ve got this.

Here comes the next jumps. “Quadruple Toe Loop, followed by a Triple Toe Loop! Absolute perfection!” He kept it together, yes! He went into a spin, one leg off the ground. I let out a gasp and felt tears roll down my cheeks. He’s found it, his passion. It’s on full display and beautiful.

=====

I saw Viktor watching Piggy’s performance intently. I looked over at Karissa, she had her hands covering her mouth in tears watching him. I let out a huff and started to walk away. There’s no way I’ll win after the Eros he showed today. What’s the point of staying?

=====

Yuuri finished the final pose of his routine. The crowd cheered loudly. I wiped the tears off my face and smiled. I cupped my hands around my mouth.

“That was amazing Yuuri!” I shouted, with a giggle. This is a new beginning, I can’t wait to see what becomes of it..

“What did you think about that Kit-” I started to say, looking over but Yurio was missing. Yuuri went over to Viktor after his performance. I quickly ran through the tunnel to the area where we were getting ready in. No sign of him. I started to pant as I ran to the front of the rink looking for him. Where is he? I glanced out the window and saw a leopard jacket out of the corner of my eye. “Yuri!” I called out, rushing out the door. He stopped. He was pulling his suitcase with him. “The results. You should stay.”

“I already know what the results are.” He said sadly. Even to his back to me, I could tell he was upset. “That performance-I’ll keep skating under Yakov. Dasvidaniya.”

“Wait!” I called out, grabbing his free hand. “You’re just going to leave just like that, not even say goodbye. What crap is that? You are just giving up!” I don’t know why I was so upset, maybe it was because I thought Yuri had changed. That the four of us grew closer these past weeks. Now he’s leaving as if nothing happened in the first place.

“This isn’t over!” He snapped. He pulled his hand away from mine and turned to look at me. His eyes look sad, defeated and vulnerable. “I’m going to become better. Watch as I take gold at the Grand Prix Final.” He turned and started to walk away.

=====

I continued to walk towards the airport. I pulled out a hair clip she wore, holding it in my hand. I don’t want to leave you, but I know I’ve lost. However, going back to Russia won’t change anything. I will become better. I clenched the clip. Just you watch me!


	8. Like Yourself...The New Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yuri is back in Russia and Karissa can't help but change things up a little bit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> http://fav.me/ddp8p9i
> 
> I created a design for the last episodes costume but was struggling with how to put images on Ao3. So I used an old DeviantArt to put images on so I could share them with you guys. Hope you like it!

I let out a yawn as I cuddled into Makka’s fur. It was the day after to competition and Viktor gave us a day to rest before we start work on our free skates. I guess you could consider Viktor a mentor to me. Besides, he needs to focus his coaching on Yuuri. I stood up and stretched my arms above my head. I then ran my fingers through my hair, wincing as I pulled against a knotted part. That’s what I get for going to bed without fixing my hair. I pushed my hair back. I wonder….

“Ta-da!” I said, on video chat with Phichit. I was on a train, riding back toward the resort.

“Wow, such a big change but it looks amazing!” He told me. I took my hand, showing off my new short hair. It was an angled bob. It was short in the back and the front reached my chin. “Has Yuuri seen it?”

“Not yet. But I’m about to show him.”

“What made you change?”

“Um…” I don’t really know why I did. “I guess I just wanted a new me.” I gave him a smile.

“Hmm.” I heard him say with a smirking face.

“What?” I questioned, rolling my eyes.

“They say girls like to change things when they find a guy they like.” He told me with a smirk. “Especially hair.”

“No way! There are no guys in my life. Trust me. I’ll probably be single forever the way I see it.” Pitchit shook his head.

“Whatever you say, Rissa.” He ended the call before I could chew him for the nickname. I let out a sigh, looking at my reflection in the glass.

=====

I was making my way to the rink for practice. I had my headphones on and scrolling through online. I stopped scrolling when I saw a selfie of Karissa hugging Makka. I miss having her bubbly personality. My phone buzzed, someone posted. I clicked on it and stopped walking.

The picture was of Karissa, but she had cut her hair short. She still sported the blue steak. Why would she change?

=====

It was Saturday, and Yuuri was late for practice. I let out a sigh, sitting on top of part of the wall. I had my headphones on, trying to find a song. Viktor had told me he wouldn’t let my plan any part of my free skate until I find some music. I don’t know what to do. He told me watching him and Yuuri train might spark something.

“I’m so sorry! I overslept!” Yuuri shouted as he busted through the doors. I could tell he was flustered and ran all the way here. His hair was a mess. “Um...are you-” He started to ask Viktor.

“Well good morning, Yuuri!” Viktor told him cheerfully. “I have to say you are impressively late. Only Aeroflot has kept me waiting longer.” Yuuri zoomed out onto the ice in front of Viktor, on the ground, begging for forgiveness. “Oh how fun, Japanese dogeza!” I let out a laugh.

Watching Yuuri practice, I could tell he was thinking about things. And Viktor picked up on it too. I wonder what he’s got his head wrapped around this time?

I sat in the hot springs, letting the water soak into my body. There were no other female guests so I had the whole thing to myself. I’m kinda glad, I don’t know how I would handle being nude in front of others. I can’t stop thinking about my short program. I know sorrow is my main theme for my short program, but I want to tell a different story with my free skate. Something about coming back from sorrow.

=====

My phone binged. It was a message from an unknown number. I opened it.

Yurio, or Kitty, It’s Karissa.

I hope you made it back to Russia okay.

Yuuri and I are planning our own free skate programs. I think my theme will be Sorrow and Triumph. I was wondering what you   
were thinking for your free skate program. I know it will be amazing.

“So both Blue and Piggy are producing there own free program?” I questioned aloud. “Also, why did she tell me? She’s telling me, her competition, everything for her skate.” I added her number into my contacts, putting her name down as Blue. I thought back to Karissa, Sorrow and Triumph huh? I felt myself groan internally as Mila wrapped her arms around me.

“Oh.” She leaned against me, looking at her phone. “Is this why you went to Japan, to find yourself a girl?”

“Get off me!” I said, trying to push her away. “You don’t know what you’re talking about Mila. Throwing yourself at me because you dumped that hockey player?” She kept looking at my phone.

“Karissa, huh?” She gave me a wink. “As I recall, you used to call her ‘The Amazing Karissa Faye’, ‘The Most Beautiful Skater’, ‘Ice Princess’.” I felt myself get embarrassed.

“That was years ago. Besides, it’s not like that anymore. Now she’s competition.”

“That’s right, I thought I heard about that. Do you think you’ll be able to compete against your girlfriend?” She teased. I felt myself come off the ground.

“Nyet!” I called out. Mila was holding me above her head as I moved around, trying to get free.

“Did I mention I’ve been practicing my lifts lately?”

“Let me down hag!”

=====

I laid back onto the bleachers, waiting for Yuri to text back. I placed my phone to my chest and let out a hum of a familiar song. I saw Yuuri was focusing on the step work of his program. It was getting a lot better. I was up next. I placed my phone with my bag, fixed my skates and stood my the entrance waiting for my turn.

=====

“Aw, man,” I muttered, in front of me stood was an older woman who looked stern as hell. “Who is this ved’ma?” She cupped my face bringing it close. She then opened my mouth, looking at my teeth.

“Good teeth at least.” She then started to pull my leg back as far as she could.

“Ow! Ow! Ow!” I grunted out.

“Not very flexible is he. We’ll start from square one with ballet.” She told Yakov.

“Whatever you say.” He agreed.

“Who the hell are you?!” I shouted defensively, pulling away from her.

“The person choreographing your free program.” What? “That’s right. And my expectations for you are high.” She held the side of my cheek. “You will be more than a principal this season. Yes, you will be the prima ballerina. If you want to win, you must be willing to sell your soul.” I grabbed the hand she had against my cheek.

“I want victory, whatever the cost might be. If it means winning, then I will sell my body and soul to you.”

“Hmph. I am Lilia Baranovskaya.” She grabbed my hand and we shook hands. “I want you to go home and pack up your things. We have a great deal of work to do, so you’ll be staying with me.”

=====

I sat on the bleachers outside of the ice rink, listening to a list of my favorite songs, trying to find some inspiration. I got a message. It was from Kitty. I felt myself smile, taking off my headphones.

“So Yurio figured out his free skate program.” I told Yuuri as he cleaned his skates.

“Really?” He asked me.

“Apparently his coaches ex-wife, a ballerina, is going to help him train. And it sounds like she yells at him 24/7.”

“That doesn’t sound like fun.”

“I can’t imagine that punk doing ballerina.” I said, laying back, back to the bench. I started to crack up as I imagined Yurio in a pink dress and pink Pointe shoes. I quickly found a picture of a hot pink dress and sent it to Yurio.

Does that mean I get to see you wear this?

Hell no!

I really miss having his punky self around, it made things interesting.

Whatever you say, Kitty.

With the rink empty, it felt better. I put my song onto a shuffle of different songs about Triumph. I listened to them, skating around trying to get a feel for them. Nothing seemed to stick. I started to switch the song when a familiar beat came on. It caught my attention. I kept listening, skating around to the music, this time enjoying the feeling it gave me. This was different.

But it also made me think of everything that has happened to get me where I am today. The song ended. I stopped, huffing.

“That was incredible!” I jumped, Yuko was on the side watching me. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you.” I pulled off my headphones.

“Sorry, I just got entranced in the music.” I told her, skating over.

“Whatever song that was, it was perfect.”

“You didn’t even hear the music.” I told her.

“I didn’t have to. Just by you skating, I could already feel the music through you. So much power and...what’s the word…”

“Triumph.” I said, taking a breath.

“Viktor!” I shouted, slamming his door open. He was sitting in bed, Makka next to him.

“Ah Karissa, I was just-”

“I found my song.” I stated, cutting him off. He gave me a questioning look.

“Already. It’s only been a couple of days. How have you already picked a song?” He questioned.

“Just trust me. I know this is it. It spoke to me over all the others.” I pulled out my phone and put my headphones on his head. “Just listen.” He gave me a nod and I started the music. It played for a while before lighting up.

“That’s perfect!” He told me.

I fell back on my bed, cuddling into my pillow. Tomorrow I start preparing my free skate. I wonder how Kitty is? I pulled out my phone and went to a video call. I sat there waiting for him to pick up. ‘Come on you punk.’ The call came on and a very sleep Yurio came on screen.

“What do you want Blue?” He grumbled.

“I just wanted to see how you were doing with your new coach. I’m surprised she let you sleep in this late.” I told him. He let out a growl.

“It’s four in the morning!” He yelled at me. I looked at my clock, it read 10. “There is a six-hour difference!”

“Sorry. I forgot.” I said with an embarrassed chuckle. “So since you’re up now. Tell me how things are going Kitty.”

“You are super annoying, you know that.” He told me as he moved to sit up. I held back a giggle at his messy hair and equally messy room.

“But you still love me.” I said cheerfully.

“Whatever Blue.” He rolled his eyes. “I’ve been nothing but practicing. Going from doing ballet to skating.” He told me. “Then I get yelled at the entire time on top of it.”

“That seems intense.” I never knew ballet could help you perform better as an ice skater. He must be working really hard and I interrupted his sleep. “Hey, I’m sorry for waking you. If you want to get back to sleep I understand.”

“Well I’m already up and after looking at your dumb face, if I try to go back to sleep, I’ll get nightmares.” He smirked.

“Whatever kitty.” I smirked back.

“So why did you choose Sorrow, and Triumph for your theme?” He seemed actually curious.

“Well, I know that my short program is based on Love’s Sorrow.” I started placing a finger to my cheek, thinking. “When you experience sorrow, you get back on your feet and make the best of it. That’s where Triumph comes in.”

“Have you found a song?”

“Yep.” I said, There was a moment of silence.

“Well, what is it?” He was very impatient.

“It’s gonna be a surprise.” I gave him a wink. “So either you’re going to have to watch me from the sidelines or on tv to know what it is.”

“Whatever you say, Blue.” He told me.

=====

“I gotta go. See ya soon.” She said before hanging up the call. My phone screen went black. And like that she was gone.

“That idiot. Making me wait like this.” I muttered, thinking about what her song would be. I looked over at her hair clip and grabbed it. Looking at it as it sat in my hand. I can’t wait to see her on the ice again.


	9. And Complete The Free Program!!

These past few days Yuri and I took turns sharing the ice. I was trying to figure out the right blend of jumps while Viktor was trying to do basic training. I could feel Yuuri was getting stressed and frustrated and Viktor kept pushing him.

I was sitting down at the rink. Viktor texted me, letting me know he and Yuuri were taking the day off. So I wanted to use this to my advantage. Without someone here, I could push myself as hard as I want. Currently, I was planning my jumps on a notebook to see them laid out. I want to focus on having nine jumps, I should get a lot of points. The only thing is my lungs, how much can they handle? Only one way to find out.

I took off my glasses and set up a camera to record. This is the first time skating to it, I want to go with my heart and skate how I feel, no jumps yet. After I get a feel for the step work, I move onto the jumps. I made my way to the middle of the ice and started the song.

=====

“No, no no!” Lillia yelled at me for the umpteenth time. I was currently practicing ballet at her studio. “Forget who you were! Your past self is dead, understand? The only people who succeed are those who are willing to be reborn as many times as necessary!” I let out a growl and kept going.

=====

I snacked on peanut butter crackers while reviewing the tape of my step work. I had my notebook to the side, writing down where I wanted to put jumps in. Now here comes the hard part. I grabbed the bag that held my oxygen machine and got it ready. 

“I’m going to need this.” I told myself.

=====

I was at practice again, this time working on my free skate routine. Focusing on making my step work elegant and my jumps perfect. This is about the sixth time today I’ve had to rework this one part.

“Absolutely unacceptable. Even the king crab we ate yesterday had better control of its legs than you!” I stood by the edge of the rink, hands on my knees panting. “Again from the same place.” I was exhausted and I want to give up so much right now, say screw it. But there was one driving force that kept me going. I looked over at my stuff and saw the hair clip sitting there. I can do this. “Well?” She asked. 

“Ma’am!” I shouted before going back to my starting point. 

=====

I was close to finishing my routine and my lungs were burning. Do I keep pushing myself or stop now? I saw the machine sitting there, waiting for me. I shook my head at myself. Keep going, you don’t need it.

I performed my last jump combo, a Triple Toe Loop then a Double Toe Loop. I went into the toe loop, landing it. I was shaky, I need to work on that. Next is the double, I went flying through the air. My right foot missed the landing and I let out a hard gasp as I hit the ice hard.

I started to wheeze as the impact caused all the air to leave my lungs. I was trying to breathe but I couldn’t. Somebody, help. I reached for my phone, pulling up my contacts. Just as I was about to call Yuuri I stopped. He can’t know. I clenched my fists. I looked next to me, seeing the wall of the rink. I grabbed onto it, pulling myself up.

I felt a spell of dizziness come over me. I grabbed onto the wall like it was my lifeline. My legs were shaking and could barely hold me up. I grabbed onto the wall the entire time, trying to get off the ice. The entire time I was coughing, wheezing and struggling. I finally made it off the ice and scrambled over to the machine. I put on the mask and turned it on. I felt relief hit my body, as I laid on the floor.

I laid in my bed. It was after midnight. After my fall, I had a huge bruise on my stomach. Nobody saw it because I was wearing my jacket over it. But it still hurt like hell and I couldn’t sleep. I can’t believe I did that, I’ll have to do better.

======

I laid in my bed after a long day of practice. I had patched up my feet and was laying with Potya. I wonder what Blue is up to. It was nine at night. That means for her it would be three in the morning. I rolled onto my side, debating on whether I should call her. 

“What should I do Potya?” I asked him. “I don’t want to look needy but I don’t want her to think I don’t care.” He looked at me before going back to cleaning himself. I scratched behind his ears. “I’ll do it…” I muttered. I started the video call waiting for her to answer. There was no response. “Damn it.” I said to myself. I was about to put my phone away when she started to call me back. I quickly answered.

“Hi, kitty.” Karissa said softly. She was laying on her back, her phone above her. She let out a yawn. “Why so early?” She seemed different.

“Well if you get to wake me up to talk then I do too!” I said defensively. “Besides, you’re still up anyway!” She started to laugh but stopped with a wince. “What’s wrong?” I said automatically.

“Nothing, I just moved wrong.” She said, looking to the side. I felt myself groan. 

“You are a bad liar.” I told her. She gave me a weird look. “Is it your feet? I told you to take care of them!” I got onto her.

“I did take care of them!” She shouted back. I pulled back slightly. “I...I fell in practice today.” She said it so softly, I almost missed it. When I was training with her I never saw her fall once. 

“Are you okay?” I said before I started to go over the possibilities. “Did you break something?!”

“No.” She said, She winced as she sat up. She pulled up the edge of her shirt to show the bruise. Normally that would have embarrassed me but right now that didn’t matter. “Just a bad bruise.” She looked down before laying back down.“That’s why I was still awake. It hurts no matter how I lay down.”

“I-” I began to say as the door to her room came open. “What the hell is going on?” I asked.

“Yuuri?” She asked. Piggy came into the shot.

“I finally got my music Karissa, you have to listen.” Piggy told her.

“Uh, let me call you back.” She told me before hanging up suddenly. I let out a growl and threw my phone. 

“How come that damn piggy gets priority over me?"

=====

After listening to the song he had made, I was amazed. It fit him perfectly. And I could tell what he was trying to display.

“Did you show Viktor?” I asked. He shook his head. 

“I wanted to show you first, I figured after everything these past months, you would like to hear it.” He told me. 

“Let’s go show him, he is your coach.”

“Right!” He said running out of my room and into Viktors. I let out a sigh and texted Yurio.

Sorry about that Yuuri was excited to show his song for the free skate. 

Whatever. 

Want me to call? 

I’m going to bed. 

  
  


What got his panties in a wad all of a sudden?

=====

I stomped out of my room and went to the kitchen. I filled up a glass with water.

“I can’t believe the nerve of that idiot.” I grumbled.

“You’re up late.” I jumped at the voice. It was Lillia. 

“Sorry, ma’am.” I told her quickly.

“No need to be so stern.” She told me. “You have made great strides in your training. Trying to change and become someone new is hard. You have done well.”

“Thank you.”

“This may seem personal...but what happened in Hatsetsu?” She asked me. “I know you had the face-off with Yuuri Katsuki. But when you came back you seemed motivated, even Yakov was surprised.”

“Well…” I said thinking. “Originally I went there to get Viktor to keep a promise. And when I learned Katsuki was the reason he left I was...upset.” I said trying to choose my words so I wouldn’t get chewed out. “But when I got there. I met someone else.” She gave me a questioning look. “At first she was hard-headed and stubborn with me. Mostly because she didn’t like my attitude.”

“What’s her name?”

“Karissa Faye.”

“The last years Grand Prix Finals Gold Medalist?”

“She was there supporting Yuuri Katsuki. I remember watching her perform about four years ago. And since then I changed. She was a big motivator to how I wanted to be. So seeing her in Hatsetsu changed things. And when she performed at the Hotspring Competition, I couldn’t help but be in awe off of her. She was beautiful.”

“Why did you leave?” I thought back to when I saw her crying during Piggy’s performance.

“I knew I had to become better. I wanted to give her a performance that would make her motivated, moved, brought to tears. I just wanted to give her something, like she gave me the day I saw her. That’s the motivation that kept me going. She’s the reason I want to change.” She gave me a smile, something I have never seen.

“Love, it causes the strangest things, doesn’t it.”

“Love?” I questioned, embarrassed.

“Love can be many things, but it doesn’t have to be romantic. The love you feel for her is admiration. When you see her, you are inspired and want to become better. You see her as beautiful because you admire her. That’s why you fight...your fight for her.”

=====

It was the next day and I was helping Viktor and Yuuri layout the jumps for his song. Currently, he had thirteen different steps, eight of them where either a single or combo jump sequence.

“Hmm…” Viktor said in thought. “We could go for a bit more impact. Maybe make the last jump a quadruple toe loop.”

“Really?” Yuuri asked. “The last one?”

“You have a lot of stamina. I’m sure you can pull it off.” I told him.

“If you’d rather not-” Viktor started to say as Yuuri cut him off.

“I’ll do it!” I smiled, Yuuri has grown so much since he started training with Viktor. He would have never said okay to a quad like that.

“Good,” Viktor said. “That’s what I was hoping you would say. Oh yeah. One more thing. Did you change the musical theme?”

“Uh, yeah. I did.” Yuuri, said embarrassed. 

“So, what is it?”

“I’ve decided the piece’s theme is ‘on my love’.” A moment passed between them.

“I think that’s a perfect choice.” Viktor told him. “Well done.”

  
  


I sat at my laptop, waiting for the positions to post online. I was sitting there, refreshing each second. Yuuri and Viktor were by my side.

“Come on!” I yelled.

“Easy there Karissa.” Yuuri told me, with a chuckle.

“It’s going to kill me not to know, and we're so close to seeing them.” I refreshed and it popped up. "Yes!" Viktor grabbed my laptop, pulling it away. “Hey!”

=====

I quickly got out of the shower when I heard Yakov say the assignments were in.

“First I want to know, Blue and the Japanese piggy: where are they assigned?!”

=====

Everyone Yuuri knew was here and was throwing a party for the announcements. 

“Congratulations guys.” I sat next to Yuuri, thinking about the assignments. What will happen? It’s killing me.

“Thanks everybody.” Yuuri told them.

“Now we can take a closer look at the events you’ll be competing in.” Viktor told us.

“Finally!” I shouted in excitement.

The twins went through explaining how the finals worked. There were six different places to compete in.

“Karissa, she’ll be competing in the second event, Skate Canada. Yuri Plisetsky will be there to compete.” 

“Really?” I asked. Do I really want to go up against him so early?

“Yuuri’s first assignment is the third event, the Cup of China. Yuuri’s former rink mate, Phichit of Thailand, will be competing too!”

“Ah! It’ll be good to see him!” Yuuri said, excited. 

“Tell him and Celestino I said hi.”

“And it looks like both of your second assignments are going to be the sixth even, Russia’s Rostelecom Cup. Yurio will also be there!”

“And I’ll have to compete with him twice,” I said to myself. “Wait.” I said looking to Yuuri and Viktor. “Does that mean I have to go by myself to Skate Canada?”

“Well the way flights work out, me and Yuuri won’t be able to see you and make it to the Cup of China.” I ducked my head. “Sorry, but at least we’ll be together at the Rostelecom Cup.”

“Yeah, that’s true.” I told him. Viktor started to pet Makkachin.

“I trust you’ll look after the house during the season for us, right Makkachin?” Viktor asked him.

“I wonder how people are going to react when they see you. Showing up with Viktor as your coach they’ll probably think you stole him from the sport.” Nishigori told him.

“You’ll be hated by millions of skating fans worldwide!” Yuko told him.

“Uh…” Yuuri said, starting to spiral into his anxieties.

“Just kidding! We’re totally on your side.” Yuko reassured him.

“Hell yeah we are!” Minako shouted. “I’ll be there to cheer you on this season too! First, stop the Cup of China. Here we come.”

  
  


I laid in bed, feeling depressed. I know that Yuuri’s family cares about me, but it seems like I don’t belong...maybe I’m just overthinking. No. I shouldn’t say that, they’ve taken me in and let me stay. My phone buzzed with a text, I read what mom sent me before swiping it to the side, ignoring it. Why now? My phone buzzed again. I let out a growl picking it up. I stopped when I saw it was Kitty.

“Blue, did you see the results?” He asked me as soon as I answered. “Guess you and me are going to be rivals to the bitter end.” He said with a smirk.

“Yeah.” I replied.

“What’s with the down face? I figured you would be excited to finally get the results.”

“I’m just feeling bummed,” I said with a sigh. “I’ll be heading to Skate Canada by myself. I guess I was just hoping to have some support there.” I shook my head at myself. “Sorry, I know it’s pathetic.”

“It’s not pathetic.” He told me. He sat thinking for a moment. “For us, we get there a day before a competition. You should meet us in Canada.”

“You mean you and all the other Russian skaters?” I asked. 

“Yeah. Besides a girl shouldn’t be traveling alone to a foreign place.” 

“I’ll agree, only if you promise me something.” He gave me a confused look. “I want you to go with me sightseeing in Russia one day.”

“I don’t have time to-” He started to say.

“As I said, I won’t agree unless you promise,” I smirked. He didn’t say anything. “I guess I’ll just travel by myself then. I mean what can go wrong.” I shrugged.

“I’ll go sightseeing with you.” He pouted. “Geeze, your so annoying, you know that.”

“Oh come on kitty. It might be good for you to do something else besides practice.”

“Whatever Blue.”

=====

After knowing that I would get to see Blue, I’ve never felt more driven before. I was working on my routine, landing one of my jumps.

“Okay, again,” Lilia told me. “From the beginning this time.” I took my hair out of the ponytail, letting it fall free. I then used the flower clip that Karissa wore and pinned back the bangs out of my face. “You’re starting to understand, Yuri. Beautiful.”

‘I only have a short window before my body begins to change. I need to use every advantage I have, while I still have it. Watch me, Karissa, I will win for you!’


	10. Skate Canada, Here We Come!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Skate Canada is upcoming!

I exited my flight and was now in Canada. I really hope I can try and avoid the paparazzi. I know they're going to be waiting somewhere. I grabbed my bag from the luggage claim and was barely able to pull it off the conveyor belt. I dragged it over to one of the cafes. If I have to wait, I might as well enjoy myself. I put on my headphones and played some music while drinking a hot chocolate. 

=====

“So why are we waiting?” Mila asked me.

“Karissa wanted to meet up in Canada, she’s going to be coming to the competition by herself. She asked if she could join us.” I told her, looking around.

“I’m very interested to meet her.” Lilia told me. I rubbed the back of my head.

“Yurio!” I heard someone shout before being tackled into a hug. I heard Mila laugh at the nickname.

“Get off me!” I said blushing, trying to pry her arms off me. “You're making a scene!” 

“I’m so glad to see you again!” She said, pulling back with a giggle. She was wearing a blue sweater, a pair of black leggings and red converse. “I kinda missed having your punky self around.” She looked to Yakov and Lillia. She already knew Mila.

“Yuri! You should introduce us.” Lilia said. I quickly went through introductions.

“This is Yakov and Lilia Baranovskaya, there my coaches. This is Mila.”

“Karissa, it’s good to see you again.” Mila told her. “I think the last time I saw you was when we competed at the Finals.”

“Yeah, it’s good to see you too.” She responded with a smile. Mila pulled her into a hug. 

“Oh, you are always so cute, every time I see you!” Mila was holding onto her like a stuffed animal, almost strangling her.

“Alright, alright.” I told Mila. “Don’t strangle her to death.” Mila gave me a smirk and threw an arm over her shoulder. 

“So what made you decide to join us?”

“Well, Yuri invited me when he heard I was coming to Canada alone for my competition. He told me he didn’t want me traveling alone.” She told her. I could feel everyone look at me. 

“We should get going!” I said suddenly, starting to walk off. This is embarrassing.

=====

I walked with Mila. Yakov and Lilia were behind us. We were walking out the doors when the paparazzi started to swarm. Luckily I pulled on my winter jacket and pulled the hood over my head. We all climbed into a giant taxi that was supposed to take us to the hotel.

“I hope you realize I’m not going to be playing coach for you while you're out here.” Yakov told me, not looking at me.

“I didn’t expect you to be. All your focus will be on helping Yuri. All I ask is that you let me have practice time.” I told him.

“Very well.” I flashed Yuri a smile before looking out the window. 

We got to our hotel and checked in. I had my own room, which was nice. I placed my stuff down and flopped onto the bed. My phone buzzed. I picked it up and saw another missed call and a text. I quickly swiped it away. 

I heard a knock on my door and jumped. I got up and answered the door. 

“Hi, Mila.” I answered the door. 

“I wanted to ask if you wanted to go out shopping with me. Maybe grab a bite to eat?” She seemed excited.

“Yeah, let’s go!”

“So what exactly are you looking for Mila?” I asked as she was walking from display to display looking for something. I didn’t mind shopping but she was insistent about getting a certain thing. 

“I saw this outfit idea and I wanted to find it and recreate it.” She grabbed a shirt. I saw it was a leopard print halter top.

“That seems like something Yuri would like.” I told her as I searched through clothes nearby.

I found a knee-length short skirt, normally I wouldn’t be caught dead wearing something like this but I guess it seemed to speak to me. I just really wanted to wear it. “What do you think?” I asked Mila as I showed her the skirt against my body.

“Ooh.” She said looking at me. “That would look good. You have the legs to pull it off.” She gave me a wink and I blushed. She pulled it away from me and on top of the armful of clothes she wanted to by. I saw her holding the leopard tank top.

“You’re getting the top?” I asked her out of curiosity. She gave me a shrug.

“He’s not the only one who can pull of animal print.” My phone buzzed again. I let out a sigh and checked it.

Karissa. You can’t ignore me. Answer me now.

I quickly ignored it and swiped it away. I don’t want to talk to her right now

=====

I laid in bed scrolling through my phone. I was so bored. I knew today we had to rest from the plane, tomorrow I have early practice and then the competion. I wonder what Blue is doing. I went to her account and just recently she was out with Mila going shopping.

“Poor Blue. Mila must be torturing her.” I said a chuckle. I saw a post of her and her fans posing for a picture. She kept her signature smile with a pair of ears on her head. I rolled onto my stomach. Maybe I should have gone out with her today too.

=

We sat in a cafe. I was currently eating a chicken avocado sandwich. And I was devouring it because I haven’t eaten in the past 12 hours.

“Sorry.” I explained to Mila across from me. “I haven’t eaten in a while and if I don’t I get hangry.” 

“It’s fine. I understand.” She gave a light laugh. After we left the mall we ran into some of my fans. They call themselves Karissa’s Pack. Mostly because they know my love for dogs. They wear wolf ears, similar to Yuri’s Angels. I smiled thinking of the punk.

“I think Yuri might try to steal your halter top.” I said with a laugh. “Think he could pull it off?” She gave me a knowing look.

“So what exactly are you and Yuri?” She suddenly asked me. I jumped, almost choking on my sandwich.

“What do you mean? We’re just friends.” I told her. She gave a smirk.

“Oh come on, don’t give me that classic line. I can tell there is something between you two.” I felt myself blush. “You might not be able to notice but since he came back from Japan he’s changed.”

“Changed, how so?” I was curious. I had noticed Yuri’s demeanor shift.

“Well.” She set down her coffee. “He used to complain about practicing, but now he shows up every day without complaint. Yakov said that he wasn’t motivated...that was until the face-off in Japan. He realized he wasn’t the best.”

“It’s probably a good thing.” I told her. “He was always cocky. I think he realized he wasn’t at the top anymore now that he’s at the senior level.” 

“He also had someone he wanted to prove himself to.” I gave her a confused look then blushed. 

“You mean me?”

“Yuri has always looked up to you ever since he first saw you skate. He was taken by your confidence and how you enjoyed yourself when you skated. It motivated him then and now. After Japan, he came back wanting to show how he could win, to prove he was enough.” Does Yuri want to prove himself to me? Why?

I took a deep breath as I came back from warmups. I was drawn as the sixth and last skater to perform so I had a while before I had to be ready to go onto the ice. However, Yuri was fourth and I wanted to see his Agape piece again. I immediately when back to one of the dressing rooms to find Mila ready to help me with my hair and makeup.

“Thank you again.” I told her sitting down in front of her. I patted my face down with a towel to dry it off. Then she started to put the foundation on my face. 

“Of course. I don’t mind dolling you up.” I gave her a smile. Mila always seems to kind and happy. “Besides Lillia asked me to help you.”

“She did?” I questioned. Mila held me still to finish what she was doing.

“Da. She must really like you.” She winked at me.

~~~~~

It was the night before the competition and I was trying to relax but trying to figure out how to put up my hair how it showed online is stressing me out. I followed all the steps but it never looked right. After I cut my hair, I couldn’t pull it up in the ponytail as I had it before. I let out a huff and pulled out the hair clips. I need someone who knows how to work hair

“Excuse me, Ms. Baranovskaya.” I said knocking on her hotel room door. “Could I get your help with something?” She answered the door. “I’m trying to fix my hair for my free skate and I was wondering if you could help me.” I felt really shy.

“Come in.” She told me. I came into her room and she sat me down in front of a vanity. “What are you wanting to do with your hair?” She asked. I pulled out my phone and showed her what I was trying to copy. 

“I want to do this, but it isn’t working. I followed it step by step.” She looked at it and then back to my hair. 

“Well, your hair is finer than what they have here, which means your hair won’t be vibrant.” Is that an insult? “Plus your hair is a lot shorter than what it entails.” She handed me back my phone. “If you want, I could try to get something similar. It won’t be exact, I mind you.”

“Thank you!” I said, looking at her through her reflection. She stood behind me, working a brush through my hair. “ I’ve never really done anything like this with my hair.” I admitted. She began to slowly pull the right side of my hair back. 

“You are a young lady, you should have some idea on how to make yourself presentable.” She told me. She started to braid on the right side. “Surely someone has taught you.”

“I never really had any female figures to look up to in my life.” I admitted, ducking my head. “My mom never approved of me skating, she told me it was a waste of time and wouldn’t give me a career, she also thought I wouldn’t be able to make it through training.”

“Yet here you are.” She told me. I looked up at her. She had a determined look in her face. “One of the most successful female skaters, not only that you are against the men which was previously seen as impossible. Skating is your passion. Don’t let anyone take that away from you.”

~~~~~

“All done!” Mila announced. I looked at myself in the mirror in awe. I guess makeup can go a long way. She clapped her hands together. “Alright, let’s do your hair.” I pulled up the picture and showed her what Lila had done last night. “Simple enough.”

“Thank you so much, Mila.” I told her, honestly this helps me out so much. I’ve never been the best at getting ready.

“It’s no problem.” I took a breath, this is it. My first program at the Men’s Grand Prix. Time to work my magic.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry about the lack of posting. College has been keeping me busy, especially with Midterms coming up. Thanks for sticking with me.
> 
> So far I am working on finishing the last six chapters and two extra if I can manage them. I really want to finish this story and see where it goes. I'm also looking into doing a spin-off if time allows


	11. Skate Canada: Short Program!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> First-round! Let's go!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the long wait. So much craziness has happened! Finals are over and I'm back home because my college is worried about the coronavirus. Hope everyone is safe!
> 
> Luckily this break gave me time to write and hope to get work done in the next few weeks.

I got a video call from Phichit.

“Hey Hamster Boy.” I said with a smirk. It looked like he was back home in his apartment.

“Wow. You look great.” He told me. I tucked a piece of hair behind my ear.

“Thanks.”

“How are you holding up ‘Rissa?” I shrugged. 

“Honestly it hasn’t set in that I’m competing in Men’s Grand Prix.” It was a half-truth, mostly because I was nervous but I know that once I get onto the ice I’ll be okay and feel at home.

“I can’t wait to watch your program.” He smiled at me. I looked at him in confusion.

“You’re watching my program?” I asked. “Don’t you have your own events to get ready for?”

“I can set aside an hour or two to watch my friend go onto the ice and kick-ass as usual.” He exclaimed. I rolled my eyes but a smile came on my face. 

“I got to head out. Yuri is up next.” I told him, he gave me a weird look. 

“I thought Yuuri was still in Japan?” 

“He is. I’m here with Yuri Plisetsky and the Russian skaters.” A knowing look came onto his face. “What?”

“So this is the guy you changed your hair for.” He waggled his eyebrows. I felt myself blush.

“Okay. Bye.” I quickly hung up and put my phone away in my bag. I felt bad for hanging up on him but I didn’t need any distractions. I walked down the hallway towards the rink. I passed by a scoreboard and looked at the Short Program numbers. JJ was in first, no surprise. He had a score of 110.59. When Yuri and I get onto the ice that will change. 

“Did you hear that Karissa Faye is competing?” I heard one of the skaters I didn’t recognize say. I stiffened at hearing my name. 

“Who?” Another asked.

“She is at the top in the Women's, she even won last year's Grand Prix.”

“Then what is she doing here?” I bit my lip.

“I have no clue. She went on about how she wanted to prove Women’s figure skating is serious.” He let out a laugh. “Honestly it’s probably because she thinks she’s too good to compete in the Women’s so she came here to ruin it for the rest of us.” It isn’t like that. Is it? No, I am doing this because the ISU told me I have the skill to compete.

“They probably just let her in because they felt pity for her. I’m not too worried. There’s no way she can keep up with us. A Double or Triple Axel is required and so far I’ve never seen a girl who can land an Axel.” Just watch me, the Triple Axel is my favorite jump. I took a moment to catch my breath before I stepped out into the outside of the rink. I watched as Yuri stood to the side getting ready.

“Hey Blue.” Yuri said as I walked over. Lilia was fluffing his hair and making sure his costume was up to par before he went out there. Yakov stood to the side just watching.

“How does it feel to be at your first Grand Prix?” I asked. He gave me a confident smirk.

“It should be no problem. I will beat JJ’s score no problem.” I knew he had to be feeling cocky.

“I know you will.” The program that was going on had ended and it was Yuri’s turn. Lilia took off his jacket and held it into her arms. He skated out onto the ice standing by the wall. I saw Lilia tell him something before he took off onto the ice. “Yuri! Davai!” He gave me a thumbs up.

“Representing Russia, Yuri Plisetsky!” He stopped in the middle of the ice, waiting for the music to start. He started his program with his step work. “At age 15, this is his senior debut. He is Russia’s skating prodigy. We expect to see an amazing performance today.” 

Today his step work was on point, however, he was lacking some Agape from the Hotsprings Event. “His first planned jump is a Triple Axel.” Yuri went into his jump and landing it gracefully. He skated around the ice before going into his flying sit spin. Even missing his Agape, his passion is there. I hadn’t seen all his programs, but his movements seemed so filled with meaning, something I didn’t see before.

“Beautiful.” I said in awe. He came out of his spin. Here comes the Quad in his combination.

“A Quadruple Salchow, Triple Toe Loop. Amazing!” He was getting to the end of the routine, I could tell he looked tired but he wore it well. “The final jump is another Quad.” He went into a Quadruple Toe Loop and landed it perfectly. “Yuri Plisetsky had landed every jump! Incredible!”

“Kitty knows how to get the crowd worked up.” It felt as though the stadium was buzzing with excitement. He went into his combination spin, his costume reflected off the lights giving him a shimmering look. He looked stunning. He finished his spin and went into his ending position.

“An amazing performance! One that he should be proud of! We can’t wait to see what he will bring to the Senior Division.” The crowd cheered and Yuri bowed. He skated off the ice, making his way over to Lilia and Yakov, waiting for him in the Kiss and Cry.

“That was amazing.” I told him as he passed by. He had a look of disappointment on his face when he looked at me. Why would he be disappointed? 

“Yuri Plisetsky score is 104.36, which puts him in second place. Jean-Jaques Leroy stays in first.” Yuri and his coaches didn’t have much emotion in there face about his score. I watched as the next skater went onto the ice. He was talking with his friend about me earlier.

=====

I put my jacket on over my costume looking for Karissa. She was watching as one of the skaters took the ice. She seemed to be thinking about something.

“Hey, Blue.” I stuffed into my pockets. “Was my performance okay?” She was so focused on the Pig that she would never truly notice my performance. Now that it’s just me, I have to know what she thinks. She shook her head at me with a smile.

“You are always so hard on yourself. You have grown so much since the Hotsprings on Ice event. That performance was incredible.” I felt myself smile with relief, finally, she saw the true skill I had. Even if I hadn’t moved her the way she moved me, I know that it will come next. I heard the crowd cheer as the skater finished his program. I didn’t recognize him. I saw Karissa take a shaky breath as she looked over the ice. I could feel her nervousness.

“You’ll do great out there.” I told her. The last skater just left the ice. He passed by her before going over to the Kiss and Cry. “You have the skills to up show these clowns. So do it.” She let out a laugh.

“Do you count as one of those clowns?” She giggled into her hand. Counting me as a clown huh?

“Only if you can top me.” I smirked. She gave me one back. 

“You're on Kitty.” The previous skater scored 97.89, placing him in third.

“Karissa.” Lilia came over serious look as always with Yakov behind her.

“Yes, ma’am.” She said, sternly. Lilia look softened.

“Go out there and prove what you came to do.” Karissa gave her a smile. The skater that just finished high fived a friend, looking over to Karissa.

“So that’s the princess.” One who just came off the ice told his friend.

“Yeah. Let’s see if she can keep up.” 

“Typical.” Lilia said to herself, looking over at them. I felt myself let out a growl. She has fought hard to be here. I was about to storm over there when Karissa caught my arm. I looked down at her determined face. 

“Don’t.” She dropped my arm and gave me a knowing look. “Just watch.” I took a step back as she pulled her jacket and glasses off and placed them on the wall. Her costume shimmered from the lights. I know I’ve seen it before at the Hotsprings on Ice, but every time it’s breathtaking.

“Woah.” I looked over and saw the friend in awe. “She is-”

“Just a pretty little thing. Nothing else.” The other snapped. “Come on man, that’s just a bunch of makeup.” She skated out onto the ice with such confidence. I wanted to go over there and beat his face in but I didn’t. She was about to lay their asses out with her program.

“Representing the USA, and the first female figure skater to compete in the Men’s Grand Prix, Ice Princess, Karissa Faye.” She stood in the middle of the ice, looking beautiful.

“Lilia. You know she isn’t your student. You should be focusing on Yuri.” Yakov scold her. Karissa started her program with her step work that made her look like a ballerina dancing across the ice. Lilia didn’t let his comment phase her as she watched Karissa skate across the ice, the step work to the opening of her program.

“She reminds me of myself when I was younger. So full of fire and ready to show herself to the world.” She explained and Yakov looked at her dumbfounded. 

“Her first jump is a Triple Axel, only seven other women have landed a successful Triple Axel.” I watched as she went into her jump with so much power and landed it perfectly. “What a beautiful Triple Axel. That jump had perfect height and control.” I looked over at the two boys as they watched in awe of her. I smirked and watched her skate. 

“Men often tried to beat me down, I was told I wasn’t good enough.” The tone of the song changed, which meant the combination she had was coming up. “And I let it get to me. I want her to continue to skate onto the ice with confidence every time, unphased from there words.”

“Up next is a combination.” She got into position for her jump, building up speed. She landed her Double Lutz, moving into the Single Loop and finishing with a Triple Salchow. “Amazing!” She went into her spin, which meant her Quad was coming up.

“What you don’t understand about women. We are fragile. We fall apart.” I watched as she got ready for her jump. She rotated four times, landing her Quadruple Toe Loop.

“She successfully landed her Quad! All her jumps were flawless!” I watched as she went into her last spin. She looked exhausted, but she held her composure as she went to finish her program.

“However we don’t completely give up. When were beaten down or held back, we stand back up, hold our head high, put on a brave face and face the world.” The song ended and Karissa finished in her final pose. She was panting really hard, and her hands were shaking.

“She pushed herself hard and delivered a masterful performance none of us expected.” She got back on both feet and made her way off the ice.

“That was incredible.” I told her. She was trying to catch her breath, wheezing, so she gave me a thumbs up to acknowledge me. 

“Very beautiful. You proved you belonged out there.” Lilia told her. She looked over and saw the two from earlier, still shell shocked from what they just watched. She quickly composed herself and made her way to the Kiss and Cry.

=====

I was trying to keep my breathing calm as I sat at the Kiss and Cry by myself. I knew cameras were on me so I had to keep it together. Right now my lungs are burning and my view is hazy.

“Here comes the score from Karissa Fayes, Short Program.” I took a deep breath and steadied myself as I waited for the result. “She scored a massive 105.94, which puts her in second place!” I gave Yuri and knowing smirk, he was holding my glasses and jacket. Guess that means he’s a clown. I left the Kiss and Cry and Yuri handed me my stuff. I put my jacket and glasses on, feeling like myself. We all made our way to the back of the rink, I was ready to get changed and leave.

“Let’s get a picture.” I told Yuri. He gave me a confused look as I pulled him to my side and pulled out my phone to take a selfie. I gave a smile while Yuri gave his classic resting face, and took the picture. “Perfect.” I told him, looking at it. I quickly went onto Instagram and posted it. “We should go out and celebrate,” I told him. 

“That sounds like a great idea.” I heard Mila say before she had pulled me into a tight hug that lifted me off the ground. “You did so well out there! We have to celebrate.” I let out a laugh as she swung me around.

“Nyet! Put her down before you injure her!” Yuri shouted at her, growling. 

“I would never.” Mila said with a pouty face, placing me onto the ground again.

“I need to freshen up and get changed.” I told them. “Let’s meet back up in 20.” 

“Da. I’ll get everyone together.” Mila said with a smile before going off to find them. Yuri stuck his tongue out at her as she walked away.

“There you go.” I said just loud enough for him to hear as I made my way over to my room. “I guess you really are becoming a clown.”

“What?!” I quickly closed the door behind me and started to laugh. Eventually, I went into a coughing fit. I went over to the vanity and pulled a tissue out of the box and coughed up mucus. I reached for my inhaler and took four pumps of it, trying to calm the burning in my lungs. 

I quickly changed out of my clothes and took the makeup off my face. I took a moment to catch my breath before going back out there. I grabbed my jacket and phone and made my way out of the room, walking out the back to avoid paparazzi. I got a text from Mila saying she was getting everyone together.

“Perfect.” I said as I texted her, letting her know I was outside. I pulled my scarf to my face to block it from the cold. I looked in front of me and froze. There was no way.

“Mom?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So a bit of a cliffhanger but I will try to update very soon! I hope you guys are still enjoying it! Let me know what you think!


	12. Drama at Skate Canada!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hope eveyone is doing okay with all this craziness going on. I am still working on the story and I'm excited for what is to come. I finally figured out how to put images on each chapter so I'm excited about that! I hope you guys enjoy the chapter!

“Mom?” I asked I was frozen in place, not sure what to do. “What are you doing here?”

“I came to take you back home.” She told me, taking a step towards me, I took a step back. I clenched my fist, trying to calm down. She let out a sigh at me. “I can see how hard you are struggling with your asthma. It’s for the best if you give up on competing and come back home. We can set you up in a good school and you wouldn’t have so much risk.”

“No.” I told her stubbornly. “I am staying here to compete.” I could tell I was making her upset. “Then I will go onto compete in the other events until I get to the event in Barcelona. Then after Barcelona, I am going to find a coach and continue to skate in competitions. You can’t hold me back from skating. I would rather die than give up skating.”

=====

I got tired of waiting for Mila to get everyone together so I made my way out of the back of the arena. I saw Karissa talking to a woman who was tall with dark brown hair. They seemed to be arguing.

“Who is that?” I asked. 

“I would rather die than give up skating,” Karissa told her with passion. I watched as the woman raised her hand and slapped her in the face. I flinched at the sound that came from it. Karissa held her cheek in pain.

“How dare you say that to me?! I am your mother.” Her mom, I had no idea she was here. “I brought you into this world, I raised you. I am not going to sit back and watch as my daughter tries to kill herself. You are done skating, we are going back to your hotel, packing your things and taking you back home.”

“Hey!” I snapped. I can’t stand this. Karissa turned around and looked at me terrified. Her mom looked up at me with anger written all over her face. 

“Yuri, please stay out of this.” She whispered, sounding so small. I felt my stomach drop. I’ve never seen her like this before.

“And you have the nerve to watch as my daughter tries to kill herself out there on the ice.” Her mom snapped at me. Karissa stood between us.

“Mom. Please. Can we not do this here.” She pleaded. She sounded terrified.

“So are you willing to go back home now?” Her mom huffed out. Karissa shook her head.

“I can’t give it up mom. Please, just let me skate while I can.” While she can? What does that mean? I saw two security personnel walk up.

“Ma’am, we’re going to have to ask you to leave.” One grabbed her arm.

“But I haven’t done anything wrong. That is my daughter.” She argued, trying to pull his arm away. 

“We had received a report from multiple individuals that you were harassing her. We need you to leave.” I looked behind me and saw Mila, Yakov, and Lilia. Her mom let out an annoyed huff.

“This isn’t the last you’ll see of me, Karissa. You will come home.” They dragged her off and Karissa just stood there. Mila went over to her side.

“You okay?” She asked. Karissa just shook her head, hugging herself. 

“You guys go ahead.” She told us, ducking her head. “I think I’m just going to go back to the hotel room.” 

“Are you sure you don’t want someone to go back with you?” I asked. She shook her head and gathered her things. 

“I just need to be alone right now. I’m sorry.” She started walking towards the direction of the hotel, leaving all of us lost.

=====

I made it back to my hotel room and leaned against the door trying to catch my breath. Tears started to pour down my face as I started to sob. I started to punch the door. Why did this have to happen? Why couldn’t she just leave me alone? Why does she have to ruin everything? I let out a wince and stopped punching the door. My hand shook in pain, my knuckles bruised. Well, at least I have a reason to cry now. I held my knuckles and sat down on the edge of my bed. After sobbing, I felt numb and empty. I pulled out my phone and looked through old pictures.

“I miss you, Dad,” I said as I looked over the picture of my dad in front of me, helping me skate across the ice. A smile came on my face as I wiped the tears off my face. I can’t let her get me down, I want to make you proud dad. She never liked me on the ice, but you thought I belonged there. I heard a knock on my door and jumped, my heart pounding. ‘Did she find me?'

“It’s me Blue.” I let out a sigh at Yuri’s voice, got up standing by the door. I wanted to answer but I must look like a mess and I have no idea what he’s going to say.

“Hey. Thanks for coming by but I’m okay.” I took a breath, telling him through the door.

“I brought you back some food.” My stomach betrayed me and let out a growl. I haven’t eaten after a while and after a good cry, some food sounded amazing. I placed my head against the door. 

=====

I waited for the door to open. She said something from the other side of the door that I didn’t hear. The door opened and I stepped inside. She stood waiting just inside. Her eyes were puffy, her face was red and the bruise on her cheek was purple. I tried not to look at her with pity, I’m sure she wouldn’t appreciate it.

“I knew you couldn’t deny food.” I handed her the bag of food. She sat on her bed and dug through it. I sat on the other side, holding a bag of ice for her cheek. She pulled out the sandwich from the cafe we went to. I noticed her knuckles were bruised. Did she hit someone? She quickly dug into her sandwich. “I also brought you a bag of ice for…” I trailed off when she looked at me with a dull look on her face.

“Is it that bad?” She reached up and held her cheek, flinching.

“No! You look fine. I just wasn’t sure if it hurt.” I tried to explain but became frantic. She let out a sigh and held out her hand. I put the ice in it, and she placed it to her cheek.

“Thanks for the food, Yuri.” She told me. She seemed so solemn and withdrawn.

“Do you want to-”

“You should probably get back to your room to rest. The competition is early tomorrow.” She gave me a look that shut me down.

“Right. Enjoy the food.” I felt awkward as I left the room and closed the door behind me. So many questions swarmed in my head. What was it she didn’t want to talk about?

=====

It was the day of the Free Skate and I was full of nerves. Mila sat and did my hair and makeup, trying to make small talk, but I didn’t say much in response. I just wanted to get through this and get out of Canada as fast as I could. We, or should I say Mila decided to curl my hair that way I could wear it down. She put bobby pins to pull my hair away from the sides of my face so it wouldn’t get in the way of my face during my skate.

“I’m sure she wasn’t able to get in after-”

“This is perfect. Thanks, Mila.” I cut her off and got up out of my seat. “I need to change.”

“Right.” She looked down. “Can’t wait to see you out there.” She quickly left and I let out a sigh. I made sure the bruise was covered, I didn’t need anyone pointing it out. I knew I was being mean but I can’t stand to talk about it. If I talk about it then my emotions will get the best of me. I just need to stay empty and numb.

I put my costume was on, and honestly, I hated the way I looked. The red was supposed to be the fire of passion and the black was the sorrow being taken away. But now all I see is the sorrow slowly seeping into the passion and snuffing it out. My phone rang, Phichit was video calling me. I bit my lip. If I don’t answer he’ll know something is wrong. If I answer, he will read my face and call me out. I took a breath and answered with a smile on my face.

“Hey Hamster Boy.” I gave him a coy wave. He gave me a smile.

“Hey, Rissa. Just doing your pre-competition check-in. It’s a tradition at this point.” He exclaimed. I let out a little laugh and tucked a piece of hair behind my ear. “You doing okay?”

“Yeah. Just a headache. This weather is killing me.” I lied flashing a smile. “Gotta work through the pain.” Phichit looked at me concerned but convinced.

“Make sure to take some medicine this time. Headaches don’t just go away if you try to ignore them.”

“Yeah. Gotta head out. Bye.” I quickly hung up and my body deflated. I looked at the clock. Time to get out there. I put on my jacket and my headphones. I placed my hand on the doorknob and took a breath. You can do this, just put on a brave face, tell them your okay and don’t let that facade go. Let’s do this.

=====

I stood on the outside of the rink waiting to see Karissa before I went out to the ice, but I didn’t see her anywhere.

“Where are you Blue?” I wanted her to be here, I wanted her to see my Free Program.

“Yuri. Stay focused.” Yakov scolded me. “She obviously has to get ready for her own program. Don’t let it get to your head and ruin your chance.” I clenched my fist.

“If it wasn’t for her, we wouldn’t be here,” I grunted out, taking off my jacket and handing it to Lilia. Even if she wasn’t going to see it, I would give her a program she would be proud of.

=====

I carefully made my way out into the hallway trying to avoid people which was really hard, everyone was watching me after yesterday's program. I noticed a crowd gathered around the TV. I made my way through and watched as Yuri moved across the ice. His costume with the black and red looked amazing against the ice. I shook my head and moved away from the TV.

“It’s not like it matters. She’s taking me home one way or another. This is it.” I knew I was up next, and I dreaded it. I made my way through the tunnel and out into the outside of the rink. This would be my last performance, then I would be going home. I heard the crowd cheer and saw Yuri finish his program. He made his way off the ice when we locked eyes.

“Blue.” He almost seemed relieved to see me. I wanted so bad to talk to him about everything but what good would it do. I’m done after this. I would go back home and he would continue to skate. I passed by him towards the rink. I pulled off my jacket and glasses, setting them onto the wall. They announced Yuri’s score, putting him in first place. 

_ “Up next, representing the USA. Karissa Faye!” _ I skated out onto the ice, greeting the crowd. I stopped in the center of the ice, took a breath and tried to calm my nerves. The song began and I started the first part of my program with step work.

_ “She is skating to Never Give Up by Sia. Her theme is Sorrow and Triumph.” _This isn’t the first time you’ve had to push through a program. You can do this. I tuned everything else out around me.

=====

Karissa started the opening of her program. I noticed she didn’t look excited or nervous like yesterday. She just looked dull and numb out there. Her body was moving to the music but it wasn’t her.

“Please snap out of it Karissa. You can do better than this.”

=====

‘I’ve battled demons that won’t let me sleep. Called to the sea but she-’ I took a breath, my first jump which was a Quad Toe Loop. ‘-abandoned me.’ I landed the jump on the word ‘me.’ I heard the announcers say something but I didn’t listen. I don’t care about the program right now, I just want it to be over. Just keep up the front.

‘But I won’t, never give up, no, never give up, no, no. No, I won’t-’ Up next was my combination. ‘-never give up,’ I landed my Triple Lutz. ‘-no, never give up,’ I finished the combination with a Triple Axel. My landing was a little shakey but I still landed it. I don’t remember the last time I struggled with a Triple Axel. I came out of the Axel and into a combination spin.

‘And I won’t let you get me down. I’ll keep gettin’ up when I hit the ground. Oh, never give up, no never give up no, no, oh. I won’t let you get me down. I’ll keep gettin’ up when I hit the ground.’ I came out of my spin and focused on step work.

‘Oh, never give up, no, never give up no, no, oh. I’ll find my way, find my way home, oh, oh, oh. I'll find my way, find my way home, oh, oh, oh. I’ll find my way, find my way home, oh, oh, oh. I’ll find my way, find my way home, oh, oh, oh. It was supposed to look strong and powerful as I danced across the ice but I didn’t feel powerful. I moved across the ice when I saw her in the stands I wanted to freeze on the spot.

‘Oh yeah, I’m haunted by the distant past.’ Anxiety gripped me knowing that she was here and watching. Was she going to take me back home? Up next was my Quad Salchow. ‘Called to the skies but she was-’ I went into the jump, rotating. As I went to land I fell face-first into the ice. I let out a gasp as all the air was knocked out of my lungs. I tried to take a breath but it felt like I couldn’t breathe any air in. All I did was wheeze in pain. I could hear my heart pounding out of fear as I laid there.

=====

She hit the ice hard. I don’t think she’s getting up from that one. Falling from any Quad can hurt. 

_“That was a hard fall for Karissa Faye.” _ I watched her struggle, feeling helpless standing here. She was skating just fine, I’ve never seen her miss a jump. _ “If she doesn’t get up soon, she will be disqualified.” _

=====

I wanted to just lay there and give up but I can’t do that. I can’t let her win. I heard the word Disqualified. It seemed to bring me back to reality. I could hear the crowd, feel the cold of the ice against my skin and the pain across my body. I wasn’t numb anymore.

This can’t be it. I have to finish. I grabbed onto the wall that I was next to and pulled myself up, gasping for air. I fought to be here, I can’t give up. ‘I won’t let you get me down. I’ll keep gettin’ up when I hit the ground.’ I missed two combinations I planned. I skated out onto the ice to catch up to where I was in the song. I was so dizzy and my chest felt like someone had stabbed me. Get through this.

=====

_ “Karissa Faye has recovered. I wonder how she will be able to make up for that major fall.” _I watched in amazement as she pulled herself off the ice, she looked like she was in a lot of pain but I could see the fire was back in her eyes. She was back, and she was ready to fight.

=====

My next jump was a Triple Salchow. That won’t be enough points, I’ll have to add another jump as a combination. ‘Oh, never give up, no, never give up no, no, oh.’ I went into my Triple Salchow, landing it just barely saved myself with a single loop before going into a Triple Flip. It hurt so bad but I need to finish. I can’t show them my weaknesses. ‘I’ll find my way, find my way home, oh, oh, oh. I’ll find my way, find my way home, oh, oh, oh.’

I planed a Triple Lutz next, there was no way I could do a combination at this point. That last one killed me. My best hope is to finish with Quad jumps, my last-ditch effort for the points. ‘I’ll find my way, find my way home, oh, oh, oh.’ I went into the Lutz and landed it. ‘I’ll find my way, find my way home, oh, oh, oh.’ Next steps work during the instrumental, I can manage that and try to catch my breath the best I can. 

‘Never give up, never give up. Never give up, never give up.’ I never realized how much effort it takes to do step work, Yuuri has so much stamina. ‘No, no, oh.’ Here comes my next jump combo that was supposed to be Triple Toe Loop, Double Toe Loop. I need to save up energy for the big one. ‘And I won’t-’ I went into the Triple Toe Loop and left the Double. ‘Let you get me down. I’ll keep gettin’ up when I hit the ground. Oh, I never give up, no, I never give up no, no, oh.’ 

I was supposed to have another jump planned but I held off on it to conserve my energy. ‘I won’t let you get me down. I’ll keep getting up when I hit the ground.’ This next line is where I need to do a Quad. The most difficult Quad is a Lutz. I have to try. ‘Oh, I’ll never give up, no, I'll never give up, no, no, oh.’ I went into the Quadruple Lutz, rotating the four times. I wasn’t going to make it. I touched my hand down onto the ice to stop me from falling.

Just the step work then it’s over. My body was screaming at me. My head was hurting, my vision was fuzzy and my chest rattled in pain, no long wheezing. ‘I’ll find my way, find my way home, oh, oh, oh.’ I ended my program in my finishing stance, arm outreached above me and the music stopped. I let out another gasp trying to breathe as the crowd gave a cheer. My vision got dark on the edges. My legs shook and my whole body was in pain. Tears filled my eyes as the pain consumed me. I reached out and watched as medics raced out onto the ice. I reached out to them trying to speak but nothing came out but helpless gasps. Then the tunnel closed in, leaving me in darkness.


	13. Complications

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What will happen with Karissa next?

I raced towards the hospital the news said she was taken to. There was a crowd of paparazzi trying to get the inside scoop on what happened to her. They have some nerve. I pulled my hood over my head and navigated through the crowd. Luckily there was someone at the door stopping all of them from coming in.

“Visiting,” I told her as I slipped through the doors into the lobby of the hospital. I pulled my hood down. There was a desk with a person behind it.

“I’m looking for Karissa Faye,” I told her quickly. I wanted to see her now. I know that they won’t tell me anything because I’m not family. “I’m her brother,” I told her. She looked me over trying to find proof in that. I held a straight face. “My name is Yuri Faye.”

“Yuri Faye.” She said as she typed something into her computer. I held back my nerves. “Your sister is on the fourth floor, ICU and Trauma.”

“Thank you.” I went over to the elevator and made my way up to the fourth floor. ICU and Trauma. What happened to you Blue? The doors opened and I walked down the hall. The only people I saw were nurses walking around. I stopped at one of the main desks. There was a nurse who was writing something onto a clipboard.

“I’m here to see Karissa Faye. I’m her brother.”

“Hey, Britney. We have a visitor for Faye.” She told someone behind her. Another nurse walked up, she was younger than the first one.

“I was wondering when someone would get here.” She let out a sigh of relief. “Come on. She’s down here.” I followed her down the hallway, passing room after room. She stopped opening the door for me.

I stopped in my tracks when I saw her. She had so many different things attached or sticking out of her. There was a tube in her mouth, sensor pads attached to her head and an IV on her hand. I carefully made my way over to her. She was pale and looked weak. I looked up, trying to understand what all the screens and beeps meant.

“What happened?” I asked, trying to shake myself out of my shock.

“She suffered a severe asthma attack.” Asthma. Now everything made sense. Her struggle with intense exercise. The cold always bothering her. He coughing. It all made sense. “Her lungs stopped moving oxygen in her body, so her brain slowly went into Oxygen Deprivation which caused her to collapse.”

“Oxygen Deprivation?”

“The brain relies on oxygen to survive when it’s deprived of it, it shuts down. We estimate her brain was deprived for approximately two and a half minutes.”

“But she’ll be okay now. I mean now that you have her here.” I said hopefully. The nurse just looked at me solemnly.

“We don’t know. Within one minute, brain cells start to die. At five, she would be close to death.” I let out a gulp. “The only thing we can do is wait to see if she wakes up. If she does, she suffers the risk of permanent brain damage.” 

“What kind of damage?”

“It varies. Her mood and personality could change, memory loss, loss of motor skills, chronic pain or even dementia.” I ducked my head and looked at her lost. “We’ve had patients who have been deprived longer who have recovered. Right now, it’s a waiting game.” I grabbed her hand, it looked so small in mine.

“You are going to make it through this Blue.” I told her, holding her hand in mine. The door opened again and this time her mom came in. She looked at Karissa before noticing me.

“Get him out of here.” She told the nurse who brought me. “He isn’t family. He doesn’t need to be in here. He’s the reason she's in this mess.” I wanted to blow up right then and there. The nurse grabbed my arm and dragged me out of the room.

“You have a lot of nerve kid!” She scolded as she stood me in front of her. “Do you know how many HIPPA violations you just broke? I could lose my job because of you.” I just looked down at the ground, toeing it with my shoe.

“I just needed to know she was okay.” I said softly. The nurse let out a sigh at me, running her hands through her hair. 

“I can tell you care for her. Just promise to stay out of trouble okay. Any other issues and we might have to kick you out entirely.” I just gave her a nod. “You can try to visit again when she is awake and out of intensive care.” I heard beeping as she pulled out what looked like a small radio. “Duty calls. It’s getting late. Visiting hours are going to be over soon.”

“Right,” I told her as she walked off to another room. I let out a sigh as I walked down the hallway towards the elevator. I ran my hands through my hair. She might have brain damage. Will she be the same when she wakes up? Will she be able to skate again? My phone rang and I pulled it out. It was Yakov’s number.

“Well. How is she?” Lilia asked me over the phone. I could tell she was concerned. I told her what the nurse had told me.

“Now we just have to wait to see if she wakes up. I don’t care how long it takes, I’m going to be there when she does.” I told her.

“Yuri we need to go back to St. Petersburg,” Yakov grumbled through the phone. “Mila has her competition in a few days. We have to go back today. And you only have a few months until your competition in Moscow.”

“I’m not going back. I want to stay here.” I said, holding my ground. I can’t leave her here.

“Yuri…”

“Even if we go back to St. Petersburg, I will only be distracted and won’t get any training done. Just let me stay, I want to be here for her.” I clenched my fist. “Give me three weeks. If she wakes up I can be here while she recovers. Then I’ll fly back to St. Petersburg.” There was silence over the line.

“Very well.” Lilia told me through the phone. I let out a sigh in relief. “But as soon as you are back, we need to focus on nothing but your program.”

“Yes, ma’am. Thank you.” I was grateful for Lilia. I had a feeling Yakov would have just dragged me back.

“Let us know how she recovers.” She said before hanging up.

I came back the next day when they allowed visitors. I was exhausted, all night I did nothing but call people and explain the situation. After that, I could barely sleep. I stopped at the desk again, hoping to go back and see her.

“Hey HIPPA violator.” I looked over at Britney, she was filing some paperwork across the way. “Trying to visit the proper way today I hope.”

“I thought you said visitors outside of family couldn’t go back there until she woke up?” I questioned. She just flashed me a smile, closing the file box with her hip.

“I did, didn’t I. Huh.” She went back to the clipboard in her hand. “Just make sure to sign in and out if you do.” What she said clicked.

“Is she…” I quickly wrote my information into the clipboard and ran towards the direction of her room.

=====

I laid in bed with nothing to do. The doctor said he doesn’t want to strain my brain, there could be damage they haven’t found yet. From the concussion or the oxygen deprivation. Music, TV or even my phone can set it off. I just need to rest.

Last night it felt as though I woke up out of a bad dream. I remember finishing my program but everything after that was a blur. When I came to mom was here waiting for me.

“Are you sure you’re feeling okay?” She asked, placing her hand to my head. She’s checking for a fever as if I have a cold. I fixed the oxygen tube in my nose.

“I’m okay mom. Honestly. The doctors ran through the tests this morning, remember. They said I’m fine. I just need to rest up.” I heard a knock on the door. I glanced at the door, hoping it was Yuri coming to visit.

“I’ll be right back.” She answered the door but I couldn’t see who it was. She told them I wasn’t accepting visitors. I heard the door close as she came back to sit by my bed. She shook her head. “Reporters have such nerve, trying to come up here to get an interview.”

“Mom. Has anyone else tried to visit me?” I was hopeful Yuri had at least tried. However, she shook her head. 

“Just me sweetie.” I felt a knot in my throat. I wanted to cry. Did he really go back to Russia and leaves me here? 

=====

I huffed and sat down in one of the seats. I wasn’t able to get in because her mom told me she was resting and not accepting visitors. I just want to see her, I want to know she is okay. I just need to wait it out and try to see her.

“I’m trying Blue,” I told her as I sent a text to her phone.

=====

My phone buzzed on the table beside me. I went to reach for it out of instant but my mom pulled it away from me.

“No phone remember. Not until the doctor clears you.” I let out a sigh and rolled over in bed. “I know you’re bored honey, but it will get better.”

“Knock, Knock.” I heard someone say. I turned over and saw Doctor Grey along with my nurse Britney.

“Hey,” I said. Britney came to my side and started checking my vitals and making sure everything was still in top form. “We’re doing another quick check to see if any changes have occurred.”

“Sounds good.” I wasn’t worried about this. I had been in the hospital to know this was routine.

“How are you feeling?” The doctor asked as she shined a light in my eyes to check them. I winsed at the light but held strong. He clicked the light off. “Check off pupils.” He said to Britney and she wrote it down.

“Bored mostly,” I admitted with a shrug. 

“I get that.” He said with a laugh. “Any pain?” 

“My chest but that’s because of awful lungs.” I explained. Britney wrote something else down.

“How about his pinch?” She asked as she gently pinched my arm. I could feel a slight tingle from it. 

“Right there.”

“Can you touch your thumb to each finger?” Doctor Grey asked. I went through each one with ease. “That’s good.” Another scribble. “Wiggle you’re toes.” I wiggled them under the covers. He gestured for me to sit up and I did. He placed the stethoscope in his ears and placed it against my back. “Breath deep if you can.” I took a deep breath, feeling my lungs let out a slight wheeze.

“Are my lungs any better?” I asked. Taking another deep breath. He moved it to a different spot on my back. 

“Better, but not 100 percent yet.” He moved it again and I took another deep breath. “Do you know what day it is?”

“Monday. Currently, it is July. I just competed in Skate Canada.” Britney gave me a smile as she wrote something else down. Grey pulled back, almost looking at me with relief.

“You passed almost every test, the last thing is for the CT scan to come back but I think you’ll be fine.”

=====

It was the nest day and I was determined o see her. I walked through the gift shop of the hospital trying to find something I could bring to her when I could go up there. I passed the flowers and went towards stuffed animals. I looked through them until I found a tiger. 

“Perfect,” I said grabbing it off the shelf.

=====

I laid in bed staring out the window, feeling lost. I knew that after this I was going home and that was it. No chance at competing. I was done. I heard a knock at my door. It must be Britney coming to check on me.

“Come in.” I said to the door. I rolled over and held out my arm for her to check my vitals. I looked over and saw Yuri come through the door. He’s here?

“Hey Blue.” He finally said. I was at a loss for words. He was here.

“What are you doing here? I thought you went back to Russia.” I asked him in confusion. He rubbed the back of his neck as he stood by my bed.

“I wanted to make sure you were okay.” Tears started to fall down my face and I tried to wipe them away.

“I was so mean to you, during the competition. I didn’t watch your Free Skate Program like you asked me. I was such a bitch.” I looked down at my clenched fists, feeling guilty. 

“It’s okay Blue. I’m just glad you’re okay.” Yuri reassured me. I pulled him down into a hug, wrapping my arms around his neck.

“I’m glad you’re here.” I muttered. Something about seeing him makes everything better. When I pulled away, I saw Yuri’s face turn red and he quickly handed me a stuffed animal. It was a stuffed tiger.

“I just happened to find this.” He said looking to the side. I smiled and hugged the tiger into my chest.

“He’s perfect.” I said. Yuri sat down in the chair next to me.

“So are you...okay?” He asked carefully. I tucked a piece of hair behind my ear. I had no idea what to say. “I was here when you were brought in. They told me what happened.”

“Well, technically I didn’t have any major brain damage. I have my memories and most of my motor skills. My lungs are recovering but to prevent this from happening again there going to put me on oxygen.” I explained.

“That’s great. You can recover and get back onto the ice.” Yuri seemed relieved. “You have a couple of months until your next competition. That's more than enough time. You can come to Russia with me and train in St. Petersburg.” I let out a smile and looked to the side. He doesn’t know the half of it.

“Yuri. I lost my ability to walk.” I admitted. His face dropped when he heard that. “I have feelings in my legs, but the brain damage still affected it. This morning the doctor told me that he could rehabilitate me.” I felt bad from putting him through this. I took a breath. “I’ve decided that after I can walk again, I’m giving up skating and going back home.”

“You're mom doesn’t control you.” He told me. “Don’t let her hold you back.”

“This is my choice.” I couldn’t look at him. I knew he would be nothing but disappointed. “I want a normal life, Yuri. Not one filled with practice. Maybe I could be a regular teenager for once, not a celebrity.”

“But you’ve worked so hard to get here.” Yuri tried to rationalize. I lightly shook my head.

“I know I have...but I’ve already decided, I’m just going to go back home.”

=====

All I could feel was nothing but fear and anger. The girl I looked up to for so long, that motivated me to keep skating is giving up.

“So you’re just going to give up.” I stood up in anger. She looked at me surprised by my sudden outburst. “This isn’t you!

“Yuri. It’s more than that. This is me and this is what I want!”

“I stayed for a reason. I wanted to be there to make sure you were okay and to help you get back onto the ice. And here I am, wasting time I could be training, on someone who doesn’t even want to go back onto the ice!” She started to tear up again. I clenched my fists.

“I’m sorry I wasted your time.” I grabbed my bag and made my way towards the door.

“You should be.”

=====

I laid in bed feeling worthless. Mom was staying in the hotel tonight because I insisted she actually sleep in a bed and not in a chair. So here I was, alone. I grabbed my phone looking through it when articles started to pop up.

Major Fall at Skate Canada! 

Faye couldn’t cut it at the Men’s Competition.

Is Karissa Faye’s skating career over?

~~~~~

“What do you mean I can’t walk anymore? I can move and feel my leg just fine.” I was almost yelling at Doctor Grey. 

“Well, we must have missed it in the scans we did. Sometimes it goes undetected, but you can damage the neurons that control certain parts of the body.”

“You told me I would be okay!” I yelled out, tears falling down my face. “Do you know how useless is a figure skater who can’t walk is?!”

“I’m sorry.” He told me with sympathy. I wanted to scream and wake up from this nightmare.

“Can we have a moment?” I heard mom ask. I watched as they left and room, mom sat down next to me and pulled me into a hug. “I know you love skating, but we both knew it would come to this.” She said as she ran her hands through my hair, comforting me. I let out sniff. “We can go back home, I can enroll you in school and you can live a normal life.”

“Normal? I can’t walk. How is that normal?” I asked, pulling back. She let out a sigh and tucked a piece of hair behind her ear.

“Your father went thought the same thing.” Hearing about my dad made me want to start crying again. “He lost everything on the ice-” She cupped my cheek. “-but he was able to make a life out of what he had left.”

“But I’m not dad.” I told her, shaking my head. I’ll never be like dad.

“No, but that’s okay.” She gave me a light smile. “Wouldn’t you want a life where you don’t have to train constantly? You could have more freedom, more friends and more of social life like before.”

“I do miss that.” I admitted. Back before I trained, I was a normal kid going to school. When training was tough, I would miss it. I had friends I had to leave behind, that was the hardest thing I ever did.

“I can call the ISU and pull you out of the upcoming competitions. Then get you enrolled back home. That way you can have the summer before you start-up classes.”

“That would be a great mom.”

~~~~~

‘This is for the best.’ I told myself. ‘But if it’s for the best then why does it hurt so bad?’

=====

I sat in my hotel room, wanting to pack up my stuff and go home to Russia. Karissa doesn’t need me if she’s going to give up. She’s going to go home, she’s already decided it. I went online to try and find planes that were leaving for St. Petersburg.

=====

“Doc wants to see you, to talk about the rehab,” Britney told me as she rolled in a wheelchair.

“My mom isn’t back yet.” I told her reaching for my phone. 

“She’s already down there.” I let out a sigh in relief. “Come on. Let’s get you down there.” She carefully helped me stand up so she could put me in the chair. “I didn’t see the rule-breaker today? Did he come in earlier?” She made sure my machine was secured on the back of the chair. I bit my lip at the thought of Yuri.

“He went back home to Russia.” I felt her stop for a second before looking at me. “He needed to go back and train for his next competition.”

“That’s too bad.” She told me as she rolled me out the door. “It’s will be weird without him here every day.”

“What do you mean?” I asked her confused.

“That punk showed up every day, even the day you got admitted. He told us he was your brother so he was able to see you. We kicked him out since we learned he wasn’t an actual family member and violated HIPPA. But he held strong and tried to see you.” I felt sick. He really had given everything up to be here. His training and his time just to wait around on me. Someone who has given up.

“You okay?” She stopped pushing me and checked me over. “You look a little pale.”

“I’m okay.” I waved her off. I just wanted to get out of here.

“Well enough about him.” She pushed me into the elevator. “I watched some of your routines. You’re really good, like amazing.” Britney said in awe. “There is no way I could do what you do.”

“I was really good.” I let out a sigh. She pushed the elevator button to the second floor. “But every athlete reaches their peak.”

“No, you are really good. You aren’t over yet sweetie.” I looked at her, lost in what to say. “You are going to make it through this and get back on that ice. And when you do, I’m going to tell everyone that that was the girl who went through hell, managed to retrain herself to walk and is showing the world what us girls can do.” Why do so many people want to see me back onto the ice? She looked so determined, I just couldn't break it to her that I was done

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you guys are still doing okay. I'm trying hard to focus on this work but I've had some urges to work an Ouran High School Host Club fic I briefly started back in September. But don't worry, I still love Karissa's story and want to finish her storyline!
> 
> Let me know what you think! I appreciate any feedback.


	14. The Passion Of A Skater

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Karissa has hit a new low, how will she handle getting back up?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I edited the last chapter because I realized that May didn't make sense for the timeline of the show so I moved it back to July. Sorry!

“Ah. There you are.” Doctor Grey said as Britney pushed me into an office. My mom was sitting in one of the chairs, just across from him. “How are you feeing Karissa?”

“Okay. I guess.” I told him. Honestly, I couldn’t feel any worse.

“Well, you should be excited. We’re going to set up a rehabilitation plan and get you walking again.” He seemed excited, I guess that means good news.

“How long will it take?” Mom asked him, seriously. I don’t blame her for wanting to be back home.

“Well, I expect her to be fully able to walk within three weeks.”

“That soon?” I asked in confusion. I wasn’t expecting that.

“Considering you are an athlete, your body has been conditioned. Without that, it could have taken a normal person up to a month or even more to fully walk. That training pays off.” I ducked my head.

“Yeah, it does.” I told him softly, Grey continued.

“If we do rehab every day, twice a day for an hour or two each, we should see you up and walking in no time.”

“And back onto the ice.” Britney added, giving me a smile.

“Well after she gets better, Karissa is coming back home and going back to school. We both decided that skating isn’t what she wants anymore.” My mom explained. Britney gave me a concerned look, I just looked at Doctor Grey, who was explaining the process.

I let out a sigh and laid in bed, looking at the stuffed tiger that sat on my side table. My phone started to buzz and I quickly grabbed it. It was a video call from Phichit.

“Hey Hamster Boy.” I joked, trying to be light-hearted. Phichit looked relieved to see me.

“Hey ‘Rissa. I was worried about you.”

“You saw it too huh?"

“Yeah. What happened?” I explained to him everything that had led up to this point so far.

“How did I not know you have asthma? I should have known.”

“It’s okay.” I said, reassuring him. “I did a good job of hiding it.”

“So is it true you’re done?” I felt my heart stop. I could hear the heartbreak in his voice. Phichit and Yuuri were there and saw me go through the ups and downs. Win my first gold medal, my first Grand Prix.

“I don’t know,” I said as I started to cry. “I love skating but a normal life sounds amazing. I’ve had so much downtime and I….”

“It doesn’t seem like you want to.” I wiped a tear. 

“You always know how to bring me back to reality.”

=====

I was waiting in line at the airport, waiting to get my ticket and go through security. I was scrolling through Instagram, looking but mostly ignoring people’s posts. I stopped scrolling when I saw an article about Karissa.

Karissa Faye opens up about the future of her career.

My eyes widened and I clicked onto the link. It was an over the phone interview with her.

_“After that major fall, many people were worried you weren’t making a comeback. There were even rumors saying that you had left the sport completely.”_

_ “Well, I was feeling like giving up skating. After my fall I sustained brain damage that caused me to lose my ability to walk. Luckily they have been working to rehabilitate me. However, I still considered leaving the sport.” _

_ “Why would you consider leaving the sport? You are one of the world's best female figure skaters.” _

_ “That was why I wanted to leave. I wanted to stop being the best and wanted to live life like a normal teenager. It would be so much easier.” _

_ “So what are you going to do?” _

_“I’ve decided to stay in figure skating. I love it. It’s my passion and my life. Sure it would be easier to be a normal teenager, but I would be giving up on not only myself but the people who have fought for me and believe in me most.” There was a sigh. “Those people are the ones I want to skate for, the ones who believe in me.”_

“Hey kid.” I looked up from my phone at the guy behind me. “The line moved. We don’t have all day. Do you want to go to Russia or not?”

=====

“Why did you do that?” Mom asked me. She found out about the phone interview and lost it. “You told them you were planning to go back onto the ice. You lied to me again?”

“I changed my mind,” I told her stubbornly. “I realized that even though skating hurt me, I still want to keep going. There are people out there who want to see me skate again, and I don’t want to let them down.” I clutched my hands together. “And I don’t want to let myself down. I love skating. Nothing will change that. I can’t live a normal life mom. It’s not me.”

“I can’t believe you.” She shook her head and stormed out of my room. I let out a sigh and pulled out my phone to call Yuuri. I need to tell him myself.

“Hey, Yuuri.” I told him as he came up on my phone. He gave me his signature Yuuri smile.

“Hey, Karissa. I’m glad you’re doing okay.”

“You know me. I’m tough as nails.” I showed him by raising my fist in the air.

“Is that Karissa?” I heard in the background as the phone was pulled away and I saw Viktor.

“Karissa! It’s good to see you!” He said cheerfully while I heard Yuuri try to get his phone back and I laughed.

“I saw your interview. You ready caused a conundrum.”

“Yeah.” I said coyly. I saw Viktor turn serious.

“Why did Yurio have to tell us you were in the hospital?” Slowly his words got faster and faster. “Why didn’t you let us know? Apparently he’s more important that us now. I should have known something was going on between you two. Did you really contemplate retiring at age sixteen? What is that about?”

“Uh…” I muttered wide-eyed.

“You don’t need to fry her brain with all those questions Viktor.” Yuuri scolded taking the phone. “What he means to say is we were worried but glad you’re okay.” I gave him a smile.

“I miss you guys. I can’t wait to see you in Russia.”

“Come on Yuuri. We have to get back to practice.” Viktor told him.

“Have fun.” I waved, before hanging up. I went through Instagram, people were going nuts about the interview. I let out a sigh and scrolled, stopping when I saw Yuri had posted a video of his Free Skate Program to his account. I let out a shaky breath as I pulled up the video. I wanted to see him skate because every time I watched him, I fell in love with skating even more. But right now, I felt like I didn’t deserve to watch him. I heard a knock on my door as Britney came in. She wasn’t in her scrubs but in normal clothes. She set something down behind the curtain the room had.

“I saw your interview.” She said as she stood by the edge of my bed. “You're really coming back?”

“Well, you told me I had to right?” I gave her a smile and she gave me one back.

“It’s good to see you back to your normal self.” She told me, as she started to tear up. 

“Me too,” I said with a laugh as I handed her a tissue. “No crying. You’re supposed to be off the job.”

“That’s when I do most of the crying.” She joked. I shook my head at her. She gave me another smile. “I have a delivery.” I looked confused as she pulled out from behind the curtain a bouquet of blue roses. I felt my heart stop as she set them on the table. “I’ve never seen blue roses before.”

“No way.” I said pulling the card out from the roses and opened it.

  
  


Welcome back, Blue.

  
  


=====

I was grabbing food when my phone buzzed. I pulled it out and saw a message from Karissa.

I loved the flowers. 

I smiled to myself about to text her back when another message came through.

Can you come up and see me if you haven’t left yet?

Of course Blue.

  
  


~One Week Later~

“Ready for rehab?” Britney asked as she came into my room with a wheelchair. I was currently watching Yuri’s Free Skate program again. I don’t know how many times I’ve watched it. It always amazed me, the difficulty and passion in it. 

“As ready as I’ll ever be.” I told her, sitting up in bed, pulling the covers off me. She pushed the wheelchair up to the side of the bed. I swung my legs over so I was sitting on the edge of the bed. She came to my side and helped me stand up, I wobbled slightly before she guided me to the chair. I grabbed my phone and she started pushing me out the door.

“Watching his routine again?” She asked as she moved me through the hallway. I looked down at my phone. Yuri comes by and tries to visit every day. I convinced him that while he’s here, he should keep up with his training at the local rinks around here. That means I see him a little less but it’s still good to have him around.

“Yeah. Something about it, I just can’t help but watch it over and over.” I admitted. “There is just so much passion when he skates, elegant and powerful.” She pressed the button for the elevator to take us to the second floor.

“No offense.” She let out a light laugh. “It’s hard to see him as a figure skater. Especially after seeing him off the ice.” I let out a laugh of my own and pulled the hair tie off my wrist.

“I get that. He doesn’t seem that way. But the ice gives him a way to express his emotions, he always gives it his all but yet he still doesn’t think it’s enough.” I tied my hair up into a ponytail. “He works hard and I know he’ll do amazing in the Finals.” 

“I don’t know about that.” She said. The doors to the elevators opened. I looked at her, the best I could, confused. “I mean if you’re still in the competition, I don’t think he has a chance.”

=====

“Here to try and see Karissa.” I jumped and spun around. Britney sat at the desk, putting something into the computer. I pulled the hood off my head.

“Da. I was hoping her mom wasn’t in so I could see her.” I admitted, rubbing my shoe into the ground. She gave me a smile and got up. It has been a couple of days, the rest of the hospital has me on lockdown from seeing her after her mom found out I was trying to see her.

“Come on.” She said waving me along as she walked down the hallway and into the elevator. I followed her out of curiosity. “She isn’t in her room. She’s doing rehab right now.” When we reached the second floor, she opened one of the twin glass doors in front of us. In front of me was a glass window and inside was Karissa. 

“Blue.” She was using railings to walk as a trainer motivated her to move forward. She took each step shakily. She looked exhausted and pale but her eyes still had fire in them.

“She talks about you a lot.” She told me. “She always watching your skating programs on her phone.”

“Really?” I asked in surprise. She nodded.

“You give her a lot of hope.” She just watched Karissa as she talked. “As you know, the brain damage she experienced has made her forget the motor skills for walking. This is the only way we can get her back to how she was before. Its a grueling process but she comes here every day, determined.”

“Sounds like her.”

“She wants to skate again. She’s even told me she doesn’t care what it takes, she wants to finish what she started.” I watched as she lost her balance and fell to her knees in a heap, panting. I wanted to jump to help her right then and there. The trainer helping her ran over.

“You’re overdoing it, Karissa. No need to push so hard.”

“It’s just a fall.” She said with determination. “Figure skaters are nothing to scoff at. We fall all the time.” He helped stand her back onto her feet.

“This is all thanks to you.” I looked over at Britney. “She would have given up if you had left. You staying has given her so much hope. Would you look at her now? Only a week and a half and she’s already halfway through her recovery process.”

“I didn’t do anything.” I shook my head. She gave me a smile.

“She watches your programs every day, she talks about how much you have grown, how much you love skating and the passion you skate with. Whether you know it or not, it reached her. She wants to skate again, because of you. You gave her something to fight for.”

“What is he doing here?” I looked over and saw her mom making her way over towards me. She was pissed. She looked to Britney. “I demand you to kick him out of here. He has no right to be here!”

“I have the same right to be here as you!” I yelled back.

“What makes you think that? You trying to keep her away from a good life.” 

“Good life? You have done nothing but take away from the life she wants. A life where she can skate without knowing her mom is somewhere hating her for it!”

“I don-”

“You showed up after the Short Program and mess with her head. You distracted her from making that jump. She would not be here if you hadn’t confronted her the night before.”

“I was trying to protect her. I knew this would happen if she pushed herself too hard.” 

“You are trying to take away the one thing she loves. Right now, skating is the only thing pushing her to keep going. By taking her home and out of the competition, she’ll give up and lose herself! To a figure skater, being taken off the ice is like dying. She feels so much freedom when she’s out there. Do you really want to be the one who is taking that away from her?!” I went to caught my breath as tears fell down her face. I could see Karissa when I looked at her. I took a breath and walked past Britney who looked at me dumbfounded.

I carefully knocked on the door before opening it. I saw Karissa in bed showing her mom a video on her phone. Her mom sat on the edge of the bed. I saw the stuffed tiger was in her arms. The music was from her Short Program.

“Here I’m about to go into a Triple Axel.” Karissa explained to her as her mom watched. I watched as she wrote something down.

“So a triple axel has three rotations?”

“Well, technically it is three in a half. That’s why it’s the hardest jump to land in skating.” Karissa noticed me and smiled. “Hey, stranger.” Her mom looked back at me before dropping her look.

“Hey Blue.” I told her.

“How about you show me some more later?” Her mom told her, placing a kiss to her head. She looked over at me. “It’s good to see you, Yuri.” I watched in confusion as she walked out the door. I looked back to Karissa.

“She’s…” I started.

“She finally sees why I love skating. I started showing her routines and teaching her all about them. She actually seems interested.” She sounded so chipper and excited. It was such a relief. “We talked about things. After your little yelling match in the hallway, she had a change of heart.” I felt guilt way over me.

“You heard that?”

“Yeah. I did.” I looked away. “Because of you, she understands. I guess you got to her somehow. She seemed to want to learn about skating. I even explained to her about my plans to go with you to Russia to train and she gave me the okay.” She smirked. “Guess you made a good impression on her.”

“Knock knock.” I looked over and saw Britney standing in the doorway. She walked over and stood by Karissa, checking over her. “Seems the crazy mom didn’t scare you off.” She placed her clipboard so it blocked her mouth from Karissa. “You better watch it, she has a high chance to end up like that.” Karissa gave her a slight smack in the hip and Britney flicked her back. I just let out a laugh.

=====

“Want to walk with me?” I asked him as Britney helped me stand up. I steadied myself on my feet, clutching onto the cane in my hand. I reached with the other to readjust the oxygen bag that was slung across my body.

“You got it?” She asked, let me go so I could stand on my own. I steadied myself, taking a careful step. I let out a sigh in relief as I didn’t hit the ground.

“Yeah. I should be good.” I turned myself to walk out the door. She reached for the assistance button I wore around my neck. 

“Swear to me, you will push this if you need me.” She shot a glance towards Yuri. “And you are under no circumstances supposed to help her up, it’s against hospital code, rule breaker."

“Da. Da.” He waved her off with his hand, but he had a small smile on his face.

“I’ll be in the hallways doing rounds on other patients, so I’ll be close.”

“Don’t worry. Doc took me off high risk, I’m going to be fine.” I reassured her. She let out a light sigh. I carefully made my way out into the hallway.

“It seems like your mom is starting to like figure skating.” He mentioned to me. 

“Yeah. She never really understood ice skating.” I admitted, taking a deep breath. “My dad was actually a hockey player.”

“Really?” Yuri asked in curiosity.

“He actually met my mom in college, he had a scholarship. Eventually, he played for the USA team. He was one of there top players.” I explained.

“Why did she hate ice skating so much?” I let out a sigh. 

“My dad got injured during a game and lost the sight in his right eye. He ended up having to quit hockey because he couldn’t play without his sight. My mom hated it, she always used to say that injury ruined him. But for some reason he would always go back to the ice. When I was old enough, he finally took me onto the ice.” I stopped and pulled out my phone.

~~~~~

“Are you sure about this Zander?” My mom asked, she stood next to him as he tied the laces on my skates.

“It will be fine Liz.” He told her before looking at me with a smile.“You ready to get onto the ice snowflake?”

“Ready!” I said, bubbling with excitement. I always saw him on the ice and wanted to try it myself. I went to stand up on my feet but lost my balance, almost falling to the ground. He caught me, picking me up and holding me against his chest.

“Easy there kiddo. It’s a lot different with skates.” He zipped up the front of my jacket. “Are you sure you don’t want to watch?” He asked mom. She just shook her head at him.

“I’ll just wait here.” We walked through the doors separating us from the rink. A shiver went up my body, even though I wore a coat. He carried me out to the entrance to the rink. I looked in awe at the lights reflecting off the ice. He went out onto the ice and carefully set me down, my skates just an inch away from the ice. 

“Here we go.” He took my hands in his.

I carefully took a step forward onto the ice. I was about to slip on my ankle until he held me upright. I wobbled, trying to balance.

“It’s okay, I’ve got you snowflake.” He slowly started moving across the ice, pulling me along in front of him. I only slightly wobbled as we circled around the rink. “That’s it.” I let out a giggle as we started to move faster across the ice. Even though it was only in a circle, it was the best thing I’ve ever felt. We reached the entrance of the ice and stopped. “Want to keep going?”

“Let’s do it daddy!” We skated around the rink for what felt like hours but I never got tired of it. It wasn’t until mom had to pull us off the ice that we stopped. Dad carried me back into the lobby to take my skates off.

“What did you think kiddo?” He asked while untying my skates, pulling them off my feet and putting my shoes on.

“Can we do it again tomorrow?” I asked him. He gave me a smile before grabbing me under the arms and tossing me into the air and catching me in his arms. I let out a laugh and wrapped my arms around his neck.

“Of course, I can’t wait to see you skate again snowflake.” He placed a kiss on top of my head.

~~~~~

“So I fell in love with skating that day.” I pulled up the picture that was taken that day of me and my dad skating across the ice.

“Wow. You were a runt, even back then.” Yuri said teasingly. I let out a scoff as I playfully punched him in the arm.

“Jerk,” I said rolling my eyes. I noticed he was looking back and forth between the picture and me. "What's wrong?"

"Your hair..." I let out a laugh, looking at how dark brown my hair used to be.

“Well, I’m a natural brunette.” Yuri just gaped at me. I let out a laugh and continued down the hall. “I dyed my hair blonde after I left home to go train under Celestino. I guess I just wanted to distance myself from my mom, kind of like an act of rebellion. Then when I won my first national competition, I dyed my bangs blue.” I let out a small smile. “I never really skated after that until my dad died. After he did, I went to the rink. Almost like I wanted to remember him...the rest was history. Every day after school I would go to the rink and practice. Even do local competitions. Eventually, I met Celestino and he offered to coach me in Detroit. Everything came around full circle.”

“Are you sure you want to leave?” Britney said hugging me. My mom was working on filing the discharge papers to get me out of the hospital. “This hospital is going to be bland without you here to see every day.” I pulled back and smiled at her.

“I’m going to miss you too but you know of all people I have to get back out onto the ice. I need to win gold.”

“And you,” She looked over a Yuri who was carrying my bag. “HIPAA violator. You better take care of her for me.” Yuri gave her a small smile, that is a miracle itself.

“I will.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you guys enjoyed it! The next upcoming chapters are about Karissa living in Russia for a couple of months before the Rostelecom Cup. There are going to be a lot of moments between the two in the future so be prepared!


	15. From the Ground Up

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Karissa begins her training in Russia

“Thank you for letting me stay here,” I told Lilia as I pulled my suitcase into her house. “Your house is beautiful.” I looked around at the fancy furniture and white aesthetic.

“Thank you. You are welcome to stay as long as you like.” She told me before looking to Yuri. “Show her to the room and show her around.”

=====

“-And here is my room,” I told her, finishing off showing her the upstairs. I opened my door and saw Potya get up and stretch from his spot in the bed.

“Potya!” I called out as he came walking towards me. I reached my hand out to pet him as he rubbed against my leg and kept walking. What?! I turned to see him rubbing against Karissa’s legs, doing figure eights.

“I didn’t know you had a cat!” She said with excitement as she bends down towards him carefully, reaching her hand out for him to sniff.

“Uh...yeah. Puma Tiger Scoripoin, Potya for short.” He let out a happy meow and nuzzled her hand.

“Well hello, Potya.” She reached to pick him up.

“Wait, he doesn’t like being-” I stopped when I saw she was carefully supporting him in her arms. I could hear him purring as he nuzzled in her neck. She let out a giggle and I just gaped at her.

=====

I looked at the rink from where I sat on the bleachers. The cold air was brisk but comforting in a way, now that I could actually breathe. I watched as Yuri was finishing up his routine and about to switch to ballet with Lilia.

“Ready?” Mila asked, making me jump. 

“As I’ll ever be,” I told her. I stood up carefully in my skates, feeling just as wobbly as I felt a week ago. Mila went to help me but I held out a hand to stop her. “I’m okay. It’s just been a while.” I carefully walked to the edge of the ice, readjusting the strap to the oxygen bag that hung across my body and rested on my right hip.

“Alright. Take five and then to ballet.” I heard Lilia call from across the ice at Yuri.

“Ma’am.” He acknowledged, skating off the rink.

“Good luck,” Mila told me. Yuri stopped beside me as I stood on the edge. 

“You got this Blue.” He went past me and I took a breath.

“Karissa. On the ice.” Lilia told me. She stood to the side of the rink, waiting for me. Since Yakov was with Georgi at a competition, she was my coach. Today she was in skates and on the ice. I carefully started taking steps onto the ice, making my way over. So far so good. I didn’t have any issue getting over there. “I want to start from square one and test how you perform. A lap around the rink.” 

“That should be easy,” I told myself as I started to skate next to the wall in a circle. I don’t know if I am nervous but it doesn’t seem like it was before. I feel so stiff and uncomfortable.

“You have knees, Karissa,” Lilia announced. “Use them.” I looked down to see my legs were as stiff as boards. I let out a gulp and slightly bent my knees, that’s better. I felt like I was lose and had more control. “There we go.” She clapped her hands and I stopped. 

“Now let’s try skating backward and how you handle that.” I took a breath and started to move very carefully backward, making sure to bend the knees. I felt wobbly as focused on not falling. Just like walking. I tried to speed up but that only made me wobble more. “That will need some work but we can try that again later.” I felt embarrassed for not being able to skate backward, I feel like a novice.

“Okay. What is next?”

“Crossovers. I want to see how you can handle turns.” She directed me to stand on the circle that was colored onto the ice for hockey. “I want you to stay inside this circle.” I took a breath and focused. This should be okay, I just need to step each foot over each other. I slowly took off, placing one foot over the other, circling around the red line. “Good. However you are still stepping outside the line. Correct it.” I saw every time I would cross over my foot, I would end up outside of the circle. I speed it up carefully, making sure my crossing foot was inside the circle. This wasn’t as bad as it should be. 

“How is this?” I asked nervously, continuing to skate around the edge of the circle. She watched my movements. 

“You have the movement down but it needs work. I’m not as worried at you perfecting everything now. Right now I want to see what you can do and refine it along the way.” She clapped. “That’s should be enough. Now onto a two-foot spin.”

“Two-foot?” I asked. She skated behind me and helped me adjust.

“Both feet are on the ice, shoulder-width apart.” She used one of her feet to push them apart. “Spread your arms out straight.” I pushed my arms out. She grabbed my right hand. “Now pull your right hand forward into your chest-” She mimicked the motion with my hand. “Your left should follow and pull you into a rotation. Make sure to pull your feet in as you go.” She skated to face me.

“Will this help with jumps?” I asked her, slowly mimicking what she had me do, following with a small rotation, not enough to get me all around though. I felt weighed down.

“This will help with your spins.” She watched me try again, getting about three fourths there. “Add speed, you will make it a full rotation,” I added more speed when I pulled my arms in but it still had the same result. I got frustrated.

“I’m being weight down on my right side.” I pulled the oxygen machine that was on my hip. She eyed it, finger to chin in thought. 

“That was the lightest machine they had?” I nodded. “Very well. Enough on the ice today.”

“Ma’am!” I said. 

“Is this going to work?” I asked Lilia. It was the next day and she held up what looked like a back brace.

“If we strap this onto your back, your machine won’t be weighing you down. It had it custom made so you could wear it during practice and programs.” She slid the machine into the pouch and clipped around my waist. I turned to look. It was almost unnoticeable if you didn’t look too hard. It also kept the weight off of one side of my body.

"This is perfect." I told her. She gave me a small smile before turning serious again

“Today we will be focusing on working on skating elements since you already have the basics down. Yuri. Come over here.” He skated over to my side. “I want you to help Karissa with completing a Waltz Jump. This will be a good starting point for your jumps.” Waltz jumps are just a step change onto the ice that introduces rotation. There easier in pairs, once you can do them alone, they are easy.

“Ready?” I asked, grabbing his hand. 

“Yeah.” I took a nervous breath. Why was I nervous about something so easy? I skated forward ready to rotate into the step when my foot slipped from underneath me. I felt my heart fall to my stomach as I tried to catch myself. I felt Yuri grab my waist and I stopped, my face an inch away from the ice. I started pant, panicking when I felt Yuri pull me back onto my feet. I took a deep breath, my chest heaving.

“Again.” Lilia told me.

“I need a moment.” I skated near the wall, placing my hands on my knees, I ducked my head down, closing my eyes and the pain from the fall came back to me, spreading across my body. I tried to calm down my breathing.

“This is going to be difficult,” Lilia told me, crossing her arms. “Not only physically but mentally. Just push yourself.” I felt a hand on my shoulder. I looked up to see Yuri.

“It’s okay, Blue.” He reassured me. He looked at me kindly. It threw me for a loop. “I can catch you so you don’t fall.” I gave him a nod, running my hands through my hair before skating back out onto the ice.

“Okay. Let’s do this again.” I took Yuri’s hand in mine and gave him a nod before going into my next attempt. I went into the rotation but felt fear tug at my stomach. I landed stiffly, grabbing Yuri’s hand in a death grip.

“You are too stiff. You must relax. Again.” I took another breath and repositioned myself. I can do this. Come on Karissa. I closed my eyes, not looking as I went into the rotation, landing onto my other foot. 

“There you go.” Yuri told me and I opened my eyes.

“Very good. We need to work on the confidence. Next we’ll be working on spiral positions.” She told me before looking at Yuri. “I want you to continue your regular training."

“Ma’am.” He skates off the ice. I made my way around the rink trying to pick up speed for the spiral position. Once I felt fast enough I lifted my left leg off the ice and carefully lifted it up into the air at 180 degrees. 

"Very good Karissa. Hold that position." I held it as long as I could before having to drop it when I lost speed. "How did that feel?"

"Good. The machine on my back makes it so much easier to move around without something bulky on my sides."

"If you feel confident. Let's move onto the jumps." I felt a lump in my throat.

"Jumps already. It feels like we just started.” 

"The competition is just months away. You have to be ready.” I felt a wave of nausea hit me but I shook it off.

“Okay,” I told her.

=====

I walked out of the ballet studio and saw Mila standing by the ice watching Karissa.

“How is she doing?” I asked her, taking a drink of water.

“Well she’s completed some single jumps but nothing past that.” Mila leaned against the wall. Karissa went into a double flip, barely going into the air and flailing as she fell.

“She’s holding back.” If she doesn't get back on her feet, she won’t be ready to compete. She stood in the middle of the rink catching her breath.

“Take a quick break.” Lilia told her, sounding disappointed. Karissa ducked her head and quickly skated off the ice.

“I’ll go talk to her.” Mila said getting up.

=====

I quickly ran back to the locker room and pressed my fists into the side of my head. I am one of the top female figure skaters in the world. Competed in multiple competitions. I have won a Grand Prix Finals gold medal. Now I can’t land a single jump, I am reduced to nothing.

~~~~~

“One more,” Celestino told me. I let out one last groan of effort before falling back against the cushion of the machine. I let out gasps, trying to catch my breath. He handed me my towel with a sigh and I wiped the sweat off my face. “Why don’t we dial back your training, huh? I think this is too much for your body.”

“No,” I told him. “I have to keep up.” He just shook his head at me.

“I don’t understand why you always want me to push you so hard.”

“Because…” I let out a pant sitting up, trying to calm my breath. “I want to be able to do anything the boys do. I want to be just as strong as they are. That way I can become a better and stronger skater.”

“By doing that, you are going to put a large strain your body.”

“I don’t care.” I shook my head at him. “I want you to keep my training up. I don’t care what happens.”

~~~~~

“Karissa?” I looked up to see Mila looking at me concerned. I must look like a madwoman. I let out a yell in frustration and punched a locker in front of me. I winced at the pain, shaking off my hand as the metal sound filled the quiet room.

“Why can’t I get past this?” I asked her, sitting down on the ground. I rested my head back against the lockers, my hand throbbing. I bit my lip as tears started to fall down my face. “Dammit.”

“It’s just going to take some time.” She sat down next to me, carefully. “You can do this. You just need to get some confidence back.”

“Confidence. I know.” I let out a shaky breath as my voice cracked. “Every time I go onto that ice, my body freezes up. I know how to do each jump but I just get so scared. I want to stop being scared but I can’t.” I leaned my head against her shoulder.

“You’ve never had a major injury up to this point and now you do. You know what it’s like to fall. What it looks and feel like. It’s not easy to come back from that, but I know you will. It’s just going to take time.”

“I don’t have time. I only have a month before the competition and I can barely do anything past a single jump.”

“So you keep trying.” I looked over at her and wiped my tears. “And you will be doing jumps again like they were nothing to begin with.” I need to do this.

“No more excuses.” I told her standing up. I brushed myself off. “I can do this.”

=====

I let out a sigh as I laid in bed with Potya. Karissa still couldn’t land her jumps and I starting to worry. She skipped dinner saying she was tired and has been in her room this entire time. There were some quick knocks at my door. I quickly got up and opened it. I took a couple of steps back as Karissa tackled me into a hug, clenching her fists into my back. She was taking shaky breaths and she was shaking. 

“Blue?” I asked, not sure what to do.

“Just hold me.” She held onto me tighter. “I need someone to hold me.” I carefully placed my arms around her. Is this how you do it? I felt her take a deep breath, feeling her breath on my neck sending goosebumps down my arms. Finally she started to breathe normally.

“What happened?” I felt her take a breath.

“Today was awful.” She started. “ I can’t land anything past a single. I talked to Mila about it but nothing changed. I’m just so overwhelmed and I didn’t know who else to go to.” She pulled back ducking her head. “I know I’m being annoying, sorry.”

“Come here.” I pulled her over to sit on the bed next to Potya, who crawled into her lap. I grabbed my headphones and placed them over her ears, starting the music on my phone. Mostly old program songs. I then grabbed a leopard print blanket and wrapped it around her.

“Yuri?” She asked in confusion. I sat next to her, leaning on the wall, pulling her to lean on my shoulder.

“Just lay here.” I grumbled. She laid still against my chest. Time passed. I could feel the up and down of her breaths as she started to calm down even more. She finally completely relaxed, leaning against my shoulder.

“Thank you...” She told me as she sat up, taking the headphones out of her ears. She looked at me embarrassed. I gave her a confused look. “Can I sleep in here tonight?”

“W-What?” I asked in confusion and embarrassment. She wants to sleep with me.

“Normally Yuuri or Phichit would lay with me so I would fall asleep after this happens.” She must get like this a lot then. “Otherwise I can’t sleep at all.” She turned red. “Please Yuri.” I let out a gulp. Was I really going to let her sleep in here?

“Fine.” I grumbled, turning away embarrassed. I can’t believe I’m doing this. If Yakov and Lilia caught me, I would be screwed. She carefully laid down, taking the blanket with her. I watched as she got settled. Potya got up and laid between me and her. I laid down, feeling awkward. I reached out and grabbed my headphones, putting one in her ear and one in mine. The music coming through calmed me down.

=====

“Build up your speed.” Lilia told me as I sped up around the ice. I took a breath and got prepared to go into a double axel. So far I had landed the double salchow but that’s it. I went into my rotation but halfway through I panicked and planted both my feet back on the ice, almost falling as I caught my balance. I took a breath before looking at Lilia. She had her arms crossed, looking at me.

“If you aren’t going to give it a hundred percent than get off my ice.” Lilia told me. I scoffed at her. 

“I am giving-”

“No. You are too worried about falling to commit to what you're doing. Until you are willing to be reborn, you will never succeed. Get off the ice.” I clenched my fist.

“Ms. Baranovskaya-” Mila tried to speak.

“Off now!”

“Screw this,” I said skating off the ice, I wanted to get out of there as fast as I could. “How would you know anything about skating.” 

“I should have known you would be unteachable.” All I could see was red. I went to turn around to face her but lost my balance and felt my feet leave the ice. I hit the ice hard, falling on my side. I winced at the small pain in my side, expecting more but nothing came.

“Karissa!” Mila said, skating over to my side to help me up. 

“I’m fine,” I told her. She stopped by me. I was looking up at the skylight above me. The cold of the ice seeped through my jacket, I could hear my pounding heart and breathing. “That wasn’t at all like last time.” I sat up and looked myself over.

“Now you got it.” I looked up at Lilia who skated over to me. She had a small smile on her face. “Falling doesn’t always mean career-ending.” She held out her hand to me. “Shall we try that jump again?” I took her hand and she helped pull me onto my feet.

======

I heard the door open and saw Karissa walk inside, wincing at each step. Lilia helped her sit on the couch before going to the kitchen and coming back with multiple ice packs. 

“Hold these on your bruises, they should feel better.” I watched as she took off her jacket. There were bruises lining her arms and sides. She carefully pressed the ice onto them and let out a hiss. It felt awful seeing her in so much pain.

=====

I let out a sigh as I made my way to the front door of Lilia’s house. She left me at the rink to practice, she had something she needed to do. I landed some jumps, but my side still wasn't healed from the falls. I pulled out my keys and opened the door. I could smell something from the kitchen.

“Something smells good.” I went to my room and set my bag down. I pulled off my jacket and t-shirt and pulled on a sweatshirt. Potya ran over to me, I picked him up and slowly went towards the kitchen, wincing at the pain. I needed to grab an ice pack. “What are you-.” I stopped as stood at the doorway of the kitchen. Yuri was in a red apron, his hair tied up. He stood int he kitchen making something. I held back a giggle when I saw he was covered in flour. “Having fun?” He looked at me with a smile.

“I’m glad your back. I’m almost done making them.” I looked in curiosity at the buns he had on a plate. Potya let out a meow and started to sniff at them. I saw Yuri finishing one that had beef, potatoes, and vegetables.

“Piroshki?”

“Da. It’s my grandpa’s recipe.” He seemed really excited, it was kinda cute. I placed Potya on the ground. I grabbed an ice pack from the freezer and put it against my side, sighing. I carefully sat on the counter next to the plate. I carefully watched Yuri focused on building the piroshki. I carefully reached over to grab one.

“Ow!” I said as Yuri tapped my hand with a spatula. I shook my hand off and gave him a teasing glare as he moved the plate away from me. He gave me a smirk.

“You have to wait Blue.” He said in a teasing voice.

“Have sympathy for the injured.” I told him, slowly getting down from the counter.

=====

“Here we go.” I said, setting the plate down in the middle of the table. Karissa sat down and Potya hopped into her lap. I grabbed one, pulling it apart. I watched as Karissa eyed me as she reached for one.

“Not going to hit me again are you?” She said with a smirk. 

“Not this time.” I took a bite. Tastes just like how grandpa would make it. I smiled as she she grabbed one, carefully taking a bite.

“This is amazing!” She said with excitement, grabbing another one. I let out a laugh, giving a piece of one to Potya. I watched as she ate her piroshki. I need to ask her now, while I still have the courage to.

“Karissa, do you want to go out with me tomorrow?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter! Good to see you guys are keeping up with the story!


	16. A Day Out With Yuri

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Karissa finally gets her wish and gets to see Russia with the Punk himself.

“Ow!” I complained to Mila as she pulled my brush through my hair, hitting a knot. In the mirror I looked and my hair, seeing as it was now just below my shoulder. I didn’t realize it had grown out that much.

“I told you to brush it before you went to bed.” She told me with a teasing voice. I had spent the night at Mila’s apartment, just to hang out. But now she was getitng me ready for today. “Are you ready for your date?” I felt myself blush.

“It’s not a date!” I cried out in embarrassment. She smirked at me in the mirror, hand on her hip.

“Yuri asked you to go explore St. Petersburg with him. It’s a date.” I just shook my head as she continued to fix my hair.

“He’s just making good on a promise he made me a while back. I asked him to show me around St. Petersburg. I don’t see the big deal.” I tried to reason but Mila still held her smirk.

“Whatever you say.” She sang out. I held back an eye roll. “Now for your outfit.”

=====

“Where is she?” I asked, stuffing my hands in my pockets. I was outside of Mila’s apartment and she wasn’t here.

“Sorry, I’m late.” I turned around and my jaw dropped. She was wearing a leopard print top under a leather jacket. She wore a black skirt with black boots. She had a leopard print bandana that was tied in her hair as a bow. I tried to hide my blush." 

“I like the leopard print.”

“Oh, thanks. Mila picked it out.” Of course, she would.

“Ready?”

“Wow. It’s beautiful.” She said twirling around. She had so much joy in her eyes as she looked around.

“It’s not that great,” I said, stuffing my hands in my pockets. After living here for so long, you get used to it. “So where do you want to go first?” I turned to look and saw she was gone. I looked around quickly before spotting her at a stand. She thanked the guy behind it before turning away.

“Hey!” I shouted, walking up to her. “Don’t take off like that. Your so short, I could have lost you.” 

“Whatever kitty.” She gave me an eye roll before pulling out a small Russian flag. “I bought this to keep as a souvenier and put up in my room here, maybe decorate.” She is such a dork. I just shook my head with a smirk.

“So where now.”

“Well I have to know where you get all of your animal print clothes, so take me there.”

=====

As we walked through St. Petersburg I lost myself, almost feeling at home. It’s weird how comfortable it is to be here with Yuri. 

“Here we-” Yuri stopped in front of one of the stores with an embarrassed face. I looked at the display in the window and started laughing. Not only did they have animal print but they also sold Yuri’s merchandise. I can’t wait to go in here

“Come on kitty.” I grabbed his hand and dragged him in the store. There wasn’t a lot of people in there but there was so much animal print. “Wow. This is nuts.” I saw Yuri eye a tiger shirt before going over. I let out a giggle and went over to where his merchandise was. I looked over the shirts and sweatshirts before picking out a blue t-shirt. On it, Yuri was in his last year's costume. I put it over my arm and continued to look. I spotted something and quickly went over and pulled it off the rack. It was a black jacket but the hood had cat ears and it came with gloves that looked like paws. I took off my leather jacket and put this one on, zipping it up. I felt so warm.

“Find anything?” Yuri asked me as he came around the corner with a couple of shirts. He stopped when he saw me in the jacket. 

“What about this Kitty?” I asked, posing like a cat, arm up like a paw. Yuri looked a little flustered but shook it off.

“It looks great. You have to get it.” We quickly checked out, I did my best, hiding the shirt by telling him it had a cat on the front. I looked around and saw there was a small coffee shop.

“Let’s grab some coffee,” I told him. I grabbed his hand and pulled him into the coffee shop with me. There was a small line we stood in.

“I don’t drink coffee.” He told me with a shrug. I let out a light gasp and he looked at me in surprise. This is unbelievable.

“How can you not drink coffee?” I gaped at him. “I need at least one cup a day to get started. How do you function properly?” He just looked amused.

“Not everyone is a coffee addict like you. Sometimes people can just get up without a load of caffeine.” I quickly ordered my coffee.

“Thank you,” I told the person behind my counter as I grabbed my coffee. I took a sip and felt it warm up my body. We stood outside of the shop, where I looked at Yuri expectantly. “So where next?” 

“I figured you would have researched places to go.” Yuri told me. I couldn’t read what he was thinking and it was throwing me off.

“Well, I figured I would ask the expert who lives here.” I gave him a smile as we walked down the sidewalk. I was about to walk around a corner when Yuri grabbed my arm and pulled me into an ally beside a building. He pressed himself against me and my face flushed.

“What are you doing?” I asked carefully. I saw him peeking around the side.

“Yuri’s Angels. They always patrol looking for me.” He explained. “Luckily I don’t think they saw us.” He let out a sigh of relief before blushing as he looked down at me. His nose brushed against mine and I held my breath. He took a step back. “Sorry.”

“It’s okay,” I told him back, rubbing the back of my neck, trying to hide my blush.

=====

We were walking and I was still trying to shake off what happened earlier. She was so close to me. I could have kissed her. I felt myself get embarrassed again. I shook it off. I can’t be thinking like that! I barely had enough time to stop myself as Karissa stopped suddenly.

“Is that a library?” She asked, trying to read the sign out front of the building that was in Russian.

“V.I. Lenina’s Library.” I read for her. I saw the excitement grow on her face.

“Can we go inside?” She was bubbling with excitement, practically bouncing.

“This is your trip.” She grabbed my hand and eagerly pulled me inside. A smile made its way on my face, I haven’t seen her this excited in a while. She held in her excitement, trying to be quiet as she made her way through the entrance, by the kids area and into the rest of the library. She stopped in awe.

“So many books.” She said quietly to herself as she looked around at each shelf, looking over the spines. I’ve never read books but seeing her like this made me want to start reading. I saw her pick out a book excitedly and open it. As soon as she did her face dropped.

“What’s wrong Blue?” She sadly closed the book and placed it back into the shelf.

“They're all in Russian so I can’t read them.” I didn’t think about that. She let out a light sigh. I grabbed the book she had put back.

“No but I can.” I grabbed her hand and pulled her over to an empty side of the library. There was a bench that would be big enough for both of us.

“Yuri. You don’t have to do this.” She told me as I sat down with her on the bench. I rolled my eyes.

“Just shut up and let me.” I pulled her to my side. She rested her head on my shoulder and I opened the book and started reading it to her. Normally it would bore me to read but with her it wasn’t as bad. It was called Eugene Onegin. It was a love story. A man named Eugene meets a young poet who introduced him to his sister. I assume they fall in love. As I read, I saw her keep up, somewhat reading it with me. About 30 pages in she moved her head off my shoulder.

“Sorry.” She said rubbing her neck. “My neck is just getting sore.” 

“Here,” I said, pulling her into my chest. She looked confused. I moved so I was leaning against a wall my legs were outstretched in front of me. She sat with her back to my chest, resting between my legs and in my arms.

“Um...Yuri.” I could hear the embarrassment in her voice. I felt a blush of my own, being so close to her.

“Just relax.” I rested my chin on her shoulder and rested the book against her bent knees before starting where I left off.

======

Yuri told me to relax but I couldn’t. My heart was pounding as I laid against him. He was so warm to lay on. The way his chin rested on my shoulder, making his hairbrush against my cheek. I felt his breath against my neck and it made goosebumps go down my arms. His hands resting gently around my stomach, holding me against him. He continued to read but I was struggling to listen. I took a breath and calmed myself. This is actually really comfortable. I leaned more against him and listened to what he was saying, trying to follow along.

=====

I smiled and watched her as she hummed to herself, while carrying the two books she checked out from the library. We didn’t finish Eugene Onegin so she took that one home to finish. She also got a smaller book to read after. Even if I didn’t like reading, being with her made it bearable.

I let out a yawn, sitting on the couch. Karissa had dragged me everywhere today and I was exhausted. I was waiting for the Short Program at the Cup of China to start. I watched as Karissa came into the living room and my face went red. She was wearing a t-shirt with me on it with a pair of leggings.

“What are you wearing?!” I shouted, embarrassed. She looked down and then shrugged.

“I picked it out today. I figured since I have a shirt with the other Yuuri, Viktor and Phichit, I needed to get one of yours.” I felt myself flush and she gave me a smirk. She twirled around. “Does it look good on me?”

“Quit being a weirdo!” I shouted before getting up and going to my room. I let out a huff, running my hands through my hair. My heart was pounding and my face burned red. She looked so good in that shirt.

=====

I hummed to myself as I made a hot chocolate, about to head to bed. Lilia would kill me if she saw me sitting on the couch with this...oh well. I took a careful seat, drinking my hot chocolate and scrolling through Instagram. Most of it was about Viktor and Yuuri’s kiss which really blew me away. My phone vibrated as Yuuri called me.

“Speaking of,” I answered my phone, seeing Yuuri’s face pop up. “Hey Yuuri. I watched the competition, you were great.” It looked like his mind was running. He took a breath calming himself.

“So you saw….can we talk?” I tucked my legs under me.

“Of course. What’s up?”

“I like Viktor.” He blurted out. I let out a light laugh and he looked at me confused.

“Me too.” I joked.

“This isn’t funny!”

“Sorry. I didn’t mean it like that. I just don’t get why you're so worried about telling me. It’s not a big deal.”

“You mean, you aren’t weirded out but it. I mean I’ve never-”

“You're my friend Yuuri. No matter what.” I smiled at him. “I don’t think it matters who you like because you're the same no matter what.” Yuuri looked so happy as he beamed at the camera. 

“I wanted to be the first to tell you. I was thinking about telling people about me and Viktor.” He said with confidence. That’s my boy! I saw him rub his neck nervously. “I mean it’s not like he gave me much of a choice…”

“That kiss was undeniable.” I took a drink out of my mug. “So, how was it?”

“How was what?”

“The kiss.” His face turned bright red. “I bet his lips were really soft. He always uses this special lip balm that makes them so shiny.”

“I mean.” He looked even more embarrassed. “They were.”

“I’m glad.” I gave him a smile. After seeing Yuuri grow from watching Viktor, wanting to be him and now being with him. It was a surreal experience. I let out a light gasp. “I just realized something”

“What’s that?”

“I finally have someone I can talk guys with.” Yuuri facepalmed over the phone.

“I am not taking guys with you!” I gave him a pout.

=====

I sat with Karissa on the bleachers in the rink. After last night I’ve been too embarrassed to face her. Her phone rang and she quickly picked it up.

“Hey, Phichit.” She answered with a smile. I watched as she listened to him, when suddenly the smile in her face dropped. Just slightly but enough to notice. 

“No. I’m fine. Today hasn’t been that bad.” She answered. She let out a sigh as he kept talking. “Trust me, I’m okay. I honestly wasn’t thinking about it.” She tucked a strand of hair back, something she does when he’s anxious. “It’s okay. I’ll talk to you tomorrow okay. Alright bye.” She hung up the phone and let it drop beside her with a sigh. I was about to say something when she got up and went into the locker room.

I carefully knocked on her door, waiting for an answer. I got nothing. After practice, she seemed to have a lot on her mind.

“Hey Blue. I figured you would want to try and read some more tonight.” I told her through the door. A moment passed and there was nothing. I don’t know if I should do this. I carefully opened the door and saw her room was empty, skating equipment gone.

=====

I took a deep breath as the oxygen filled my body making it easier for me to run. I can’t remember that last time a jog has felt so good. Almost calming, now I know why Yuuri does it so much.

~~~~~

My hands shook anxiously as tied the laces of my skates. I took a breath and clenched them against the bench I was sitting on. I had a nightmare, it always happens this time of year. I knew the only way to help it, was to get onto the ice. I carefully got up and walked into the brisk cold of the rink and heard the familiar sound of skates on ice, who else was here? I looked out onto the rink, only lit up by the spotlights, and saw Yuuri skating calming across the ice. I hadn’t spent much time with Yuuri, he was always so withdrawn and kept to himself. However, it’s not like I really made much of an effort. Phichit told me it takes a while for him to get warmed up to someone. He also isn’t very touchy-feely.

“Karissa?” I lost my thought when Yuuri stopped on the ice, finally noticing me. I gave a wave in acknowledgment. “What are you doing here?”

“Sorry.” I nervously rubbed the back of my head. “My dad died,” I told him bluntly before realizing what I had said. He looked at me wide eye and my hands started to shake. “I mean, he’s been dead for a couple of years but I still get really anxious every year. I know you don’t like me, but I really need to get my mind off of things. Please.”

“Uh, yeah.” I took the ice and felt relieved, taking a deep breath. This is where I belong. “It’s not that I don’t like you.” Yuuri looked slightly embarrassed. “I just haven’t gotten to know you yet.” I gave him a small smile.

“Well, what else do you want to know?”

~~~~~  
=====

I walked into the dark building, the only lights that were on were the spotlights over the rink. I placed my bag on the bleachers. Hearing the sound of muffled music and walked over to the side of the rink. Karissa was laying in the middle of the rink, back on the ice and arms stretched out. She had her headphones on, she lightly tapped the blade of her skate against the ice. I knew something was on her mind. I took the guards off my skates and skated over to her. As soon as she saw me her eyes went wide and she sat up, taking off her headphones.

“Yuri. What are you doing here?”

“I was worried about you. You weren’t in your room and your stuff was gone so I figured you came here.” I noticed she was trying to hide the fact she was shivering. She must have been freezing laying on the ice. I reached my hand out and cupped her cheek, cold. Her cheeks flushed even more. “I’m glad I did, your freezing.” I grabbed her hand and pulled her off the ice. I took off my jacket and put it over her shoulders. “What were you doing out there?” She picked at the ground with her skate.

“I needed to clear my head.” I let out a sigh. What’s going on in that head of yours Blue? I pulled her towards me by her hip and placed my chin on top of her head. She folded her arms into my chest. She fit perfectly, just like this. I placed a kiss on the top of her head. Her hands clenched the front of my shirt.

“Blue, I-” I started to say but stopped when she looked up at me. I lost all train of thought. All I wanted to do was kiss her. 

“What is it Yuri?” I reached up and brushed her hair away from her face. 

=====

I felt like I couldn’t breathe. Yuri Plisetsky might kiss me. My face was burning and I couldn’t think straight. I don’t know if I’m ready. He started to lean forward causing me to panic. I let out a gulp and got ready. I closed my eyes but nothing happened. I opened my eyes when I felt him rest his head against mine. I felt slightly relieved but another part of me wanted him to kiss me.

“Do you want me to read to you? Maybe it will take your mind off of things.” I heard him ask. I let out a light smile, hidden from his view. Even though I wanted to kiss him, I also don’t want things to change.

“That would be great,” I told him, pulling away. He grabbed the book from his bag and pulled me with him to the side of the rink. He sat down, leaning against the wall. I took my spot and laid against his chest, taking his jacket and laying it over us like a blanket. I leaned my head against his chin as he started reading to me. I’ve never felt so safe before.

=====

“Wakey, wakey.” I let out a yawn and opened my eyes. The brightness of the rink blinded me before adjusting. I saw Mila standing over me with a smirk, taking a picture. I let out a grunt, going to stand up.

“What do you want M-” I stopped when I remembered Karissa sleeping soundly in my arms, head rested under my chin. She was curled up like a ball and asleep on my chest. I felt my face turn red as she looked over us.

“You are so in love.”

~Extra~

I scrolled through Instagram seeing if any new posts had come up. I was kinda surprised there wasn’t anything new. I stopped when I saw a picture of me and Yuuri, taken from what looked like a fan. I looked at the bottom. ‘My new favorite ship, Kyuri!’ I stopped as I looked over the post for at least a minute.

“Hey, Yuri!” I called out to him in the kitchen.

“Da.” I walked over showing him my phone.

“Why do we have a ship name?” I watched as he nearly spit out his drink.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope everyone is still doing okay with everything going on! I've been trying to keep myself busy so I don't lose my mind while stuck at home! I had a lot of fun writing this chapter because I got to research a little bit about St. Petersberg.
> 
> And yes, I chose Kyuri to be their ship name.
> 
> I hope you guys enjoy this chapter!


	17. Arriving in Moscow! The Looming Rostelecom Cup!

We had just landed in Moscow and I couldn’t wait to see Grandpa. As soon as we got off the plane, Karissa covered her face with her hood. She still wasn’t comfortable with the oxygen tubes around the press. As we started to leave I could hear the cheer of fangirls in the distance and paparazzi waiting for us.

“Yakov and his team are here!” I heard one yelled.

“Karissa is with them too!” Karissa stiffened up next to me. I saw one of the signs that said ‘Kyuri for life!’

“Great.” She muttered.

“Mila, watch our luggage.” I said, pulling my hood down further, then grabbing Karissa’s hand and pulling her through the airport.

“Yuri. Where are we going?”

“My grandpa is going to be picking us up.” I told her, taking her out of the other side of the airport. Before we went out the doors, I helped her adjust her scarf so it better covered her face. ‘My name is Yuri Plisetsky. My goal is to be named the top skater in the world in my first senior season. I am the unbeatable Ice Tiger of Russia.’

=====

I walked outside with Yuri, he was looking around for his grandpa. I heard him talk about his grandfather, I wonder why he wants me to meet him.

“Oh, Yuri.” I heard someone call out. I saw who I assumed with his grandfather climb out of one of the parked cars. Yuri took a running start, before jumping and grabbing onto his grandpa.

“Grandpa!” He said with so much excitement. I’ve never seen him like this before. It’s kinda cute. I was making my way over when I heard a crack. Yuri’s grandfather was on the ground. I quickly ran over. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry! I forgot about your bad back.”

“Are you okay?” I asked as Yuri and I helped him up.

“Yes, thank you.” He noticed me. “Yurochka, who is your friend.”

“This is Karissa Faye.” He looked at me like he already knew who I was. 

“Ah, so this is the girl you’ve been going on about to me.” I felt myself blush. Did Yuri talk about me that much?

“Grandpa!” Yuri cried out in embarrassment. He let out a chuckle. We loaded into his small car. I sat in the backseat, listening to music come from the radio. 

“I made my pirozhkis for you, eat!” His grandpa said, handing him a fresh steaming bag of them. Yuri quickly dug into them. “Yurochka, be a gentleman. Share some with Karissa.” Yuri passed one to the back seat. I took a bite and my eye lit up.

“These are amazing!” I told him as I started to chow down. “Thank you!”

“Hey, Grandpa. Ever try a pork cutlet bowl?” Yuri asked him.

“What’s that?” He asked.

“Something I had back in Japan. They’re really good.” 

“So my pirozhkis aren’t good enough for you now?”

“No, sorry! That’s not what I meant!” Yuri said flustered. I could tell they had a good relationship just by the way they acted. I let out a giggle. I saw Nikolai look at me through the review mirror.

“Karissa, I want to thank you for being a good influence around Yuri.”

“Of course.”

“I know when he was younger, he would watch your routines and then redo them on the ice.” I looked over at Yuri who’s head was ducked away from me but his ears were red. “He always had a liking towards you.”

“Is that right?” I asked with a smile. 

“Grandpa! You’re embarrassing me!” Yuri shouted to him. The music suddenly went quite.

“Russian National Hero, Viktor Nikiforov, has returned home for the Figure Skating Grand Prix series. This year, he’ll be coaching rather than competing.” I could just feel the fire and pressure coming off of Yuri.

I thanked Yuri’s grandfather as he dropped us off at the hotel we were staying at. It was closer to the rink, which made easier for us to stay there.

“So…” I said poking Yuri. “You used to have a crush on me?” I smirked. Yuri looked to the side.

“I wouldn’t call it a crush, just more of liking okay!” He told me, clearly agitated. “Besides it’s long gone now. Now you haunt my nightmares.” I gave him a pouty face, puffing my cheeks. He put his hands on each of my cheeks. I started to blush. ‘What is he-’ He pushed the air out of my cheeks by pressing on them. He started to laugh, still holding my face. I swatted his hands away, trying to act annoyed.

“You’re a jerk,” I muttered, crossing my arms. I crouched down and was messing with the snow at my feet. 

=====

Did I really hurt her feelings? “Aw come on. Don’t be a-” I was hit in the face by snow. I quickly shook it off. Karissa stood with a smirk on her face.

“Gotcha!” She told me, with a laugh.

“Alright then.” I said, reaching down making my own snowball, quickly throwing it at her. She let out a yelp as it collided with her. I gave her a competitive smirk.

“It’s on Kitty!” She shouted, grabbing some snow and running away.

“I don’t think so Blue!” I grabbed snow of my own, trying to form a snowball. She hid behind a bush, lodging a snowball at me. I dodged, throwing my own. She let out a giggle and dodged it. I ran behind a different bush, waiting for her to come my way. I reached down, making another snowball. I heard her feet crunching in the snow. I saw her looking for me, her guard up.

“Come here, kitty, kitty kitty.” She sang. I smirked. I ran at her, tackling her to the ground. She laid in the snow giggling below me. I smashed the snowball on her jacket. 

“I win,” I said, teasingly.

“You cheated.” She told me. She blew her bangs out of her face. 

“How so?” I asked, cockily, leaning closer to her.

“You’re sneaky like a cat, it isn’t fair.” She said, playfully slapping her hand into my chest. I let out a laugh, trying to catch my breath. She was laid out in the snow, her hair laid out on the ground around her like a halo. Her cheeks were pink and she was trying to catch her breath too. I was so close to her. I reached forward, moving her bangs behind her ear and felt myself start to blush.

“We should get inside,” I said, pulling away. “No need to get a cold before a competition.” I rubbed my hand on the back of my neck.

“R-right.” 

=====

The warmth of the hotel lobby filled me up, I didn’t realize how cold it was. I looked at Yuri, who was trying to avoid looking at me. Did I do something wrong? 

“Yuri do you want to…” I stopped when I saw he was gone. I let out a sigh wanting to find my room.

“Look. It’s Karissa Faye.” I flinched hearing my name. I looked over to see a bunch of reporters start towards me. I tucked my scarf over the oxygen tube in my nose. Here we go.

“Why were you hospitalized?

“No comment,” I told her.

“Is it true you considered quitting?”

“I uh-”

"What is your relationship with Yuri Plisetsky?"

"We-"

“How do you plan to make your comeback?”

“There she is.” I looked up at the sound of the familiar voice. I saw Viktor making his way through the crowd of reporters, coffee in hand.

“Viktor?” I asked. He pulled me into a side hug as cameras flashed. 

“How is my little Ice Princess?”

“Is it true you choreographed a program for Karissa?” I watched as the questions went towards Viktor now. I let out a sigh in relief. Viktor leaned down towards my ear. “Make a run for it.” I looked around before spotting Yuuri. I took off and tackled Yuuri into a hug.

“Hi Karissa.” Yuuri said, patting my back. 

“Viktor rescued me. Thank god.” I pulled back and smiled back at Yuuri. “It’s good to see you again. I missed you.” 

I had just opened my suitcase when my phone rang.

“Hey, Mom. I’m surprised to hear from you.” I told her as I answered, pulling off my boots that were wet from the snow.

“I just wanted to check in with you before your competition. I figured you were busy training so I didn’t want to bother you. I saw your pictures online. Did you enjoy Russia?” A smile broke out on my face as I remembered what it was like.

“It was amazing. Even though it can be cold, it’s worth it.” I tucked my hair behind my ear. “Sorry, I should have checked in with you.”

“You shouldn’t apologize. It’s not like I was there for you to check in with.” I winced knowing where this was going to go.

“Mom, it’s really okay.” There was a pause.

“After your dad died I was so angry and sad. Seeing you go to the ice and skate, you reminded me of him. But when you started having issues with your asthma it reminded me of your dad. He struggled so much when he got hurt and I didn’t want to see you like that. So I tried to take you off the ice. But you fought back, did secret training and even competitions. I never understood why you always went back.”

“Mom, I-”

“That was until after you showed me what goes into what you do. After you left for Russia I went back home and started watching all of your past programs. I could see how much hard work you put into every jump or spin, even if you were struggling. And you looked so happy and free. It made me realize that it was wrong of me to try and take it away from you. I should have been there for you, supporting you through all of this. I want you to know I’m here for you. I’m proud of you, Karissa, and I know your dad would be too.” I wiped the tears in my eyes.

“Thank you.” That’s all I’ve wanted for the past six years.

“First up on the ice is Karissa Faye, representing the USA.” I took a deep breath, steadying myself as I went out onto the ice. I greeted the audience and they let out a cheer in response.

“Davai!” All three of the boys shouted to me. I feel like I am ready for anything. I made it to the center and readied myself. The music started and that’s all I focused on. I closed my eyes and let my body move. I felt relief when I easily landed my Quadruple Salchow.

“I’ve got this,” I told myself, going into my next combo. I landed the last jump when something felt off. I can’t breathe. I looked back and saw the machine on my back but the tube was gone. Crap! I must have ripped it out when I landed! I could feel my lungs tighten up. Not again, no! One of my biggest combos was coming up. I could feel my heart racing. Calm down! I went into my combo, missing the ice and landing hard. 

I let out a gasp as I sat up in bed, not being able to breathe. I held my chest in pain and tried to slow my breathing. I searched the bed, finding the mask, strap broken and putting it back over my face, feeling relieved but in pain. 

=====

It was a day of the competition, and I was stretching my legs, preparing for my skate. I looked over and saw Mila helping Karissa stretch, helping her push her leg up further. I watched in awe as she was able to stretch her leg to 270*. Amazing.

“Yuri!” Yakov told me. “You need to stay focused!” I grumbled and straightened up. I could tell something was on her mind. She always fiddles with something and constantly pushes the same strand of hair over her ear. 

=====

I snuck away from the people around me, right now I was feeling anxious. My hands were shaking and I felt freezing. I sat down against a wall holding my head in my hands. My breathing was heavy, I tried to calm myself down but nothing seemed to work. It tuned out everything around me. This is it, I’m going to mess up again and fall. What if I can’t get back up? I can’t do this. 

=====

My phone buzzed and I looked down to see a message from Karissa. I quickly ran down the hall. I opened the door and stopped. She was curled up, arms around her knees crying.

“Blue…” I muttered to myself. I made my way over and sat in front of her. 

“I’m going to fail Yuri. I’m going to make a fool out of myself. What if everything goes away?” She was shaking. I reached over and pulled her into my chest. She rested her face in my shoulder, grabbing onto my jacket, her hands shaking.

“You’re going to be great, Karissa.” I let out a sigh and laid my chin on top of her head. “You have worked so hard to be here. You went through hell and came back out. You trained hard, you’re ready. I know it.” She let out a shaky sigh and started to relax. 

“I’m sorry…” She said, muffled in my jacket. “I’m such a mess.”

“You are,” I told her. “But it’s okay. You’re going to be amazing out there. You are going to go onto that ice and show them how hard you had to fight, how far you’ve come, and win that gold medal.” She let out a sniffle and looked up at me.

“Yuri.” She muttered with a sob. “Thank you.”

=====

Yuri helped me pat down my face to make it seem less red. My makeup actually stayed intact, a good thing for waterproof. Honestly, I felt better after that. I had held onto everything for so long. Yuri had to go back to Yakov so he wouldn’t get chewed out.

Seung-Gil Lee scored a 91.83. Emil got an 84.43. Just as I walked out to see Yuuri skate next, Mickey scored an 89.65. I saw Viktor tying Yuuri’s skates, as he stood against the wall. They both had a look of determination on there face.

“Yuuri,” I said, coming over. Pulling him into a hug. “I’m sorry I wasn’t there to watch at the Cup of China, but I can’t wait to see you outdo yourself here.”

=====

I stood behind the curtain that leads out to the ice. Yakov shook his head at me.

“Grandpa, where are you?” I asked aloud, losing my confidence.


	18. Yuuri vs Karissa vs Yuri! Rostelecom Cup Short Program!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's time for our trio to battle it out on the ice!

“You got this Yuuri.” I told him as he stepped out onto the ice. Viktor was waving to the crowd. Yuuri grabbed him by the tie, pulling him down. I was slack jaw in awe. Sure they kissed at the Cup of China but wow, Yuuri being assertive. They exchanged words as Yuuri skated out to the center. “He seems a lot more confident today.”

Yuuri performed his opening sequence, blowing a kiss towards the judges, but this one held more power. Even if it wasn’t directed at me, I could feel the confidence coming off of him. Look at how much you’ve grown. His step work is top-notch as always.

“Yuuri seems to be more motivated competing further from home.” Viktor said aloud.

“Because he has to prove to all of Russia he deserves you.” I told him. Viktor looked at me before looking back at Yuuri. Yuuri went into his spin and I watching in awe of him. He always seemed to be weak and timid but now he owns the ice. He’s giving a big middle finger to Russia. I took a breath, watching as Yuuri was about to go into his first jump, a triple axel.  Yuuri went into the jump with a spread eagle and landed it elegantly. He did more step work, leading into his quad Salchow. He landed it, even made it look effortless.

“Yuuri! That was amazing!” Viktor told him. I could tell Yuuri was getting lost in the music, and his body showed it. Every part of him seemed to express so much. Next was the combination. Quad Toe Loop, Triple Toe Loop. He nailed both of them perfectly.

“Way to go Yuuri!” I shouted, cupping my hands around my mouth. 

=====

‘His program has come a long way since the Hot Springs on Ice Event.’ I looked at Karissa who was mesmerized by the performance. I clenched my fist. ‘Why does she never look at me when I skate like that?’ Piggy finished his program and the crowd started to cheer, throwing plush sushi onto the ice and flowers.

“Yuuri!” Viktor yelled, in excitement.

“Damn it.” I said to myself, taking off my hood, my hair falling free. ‘I thought with Grandpa here, I would be able to skate Agape perfectly.’ Lillia helped me slip off my jacket as I stood at the edge of the ice.

=====

I felt someone next to me.

“Oh Y-” I stopped and stood in awe of Yuri in front of me. Everything seemed to tune out. I let out a gasp. He stood in his outfit for his Short Program, this time it seemed different. There was so much confidence and beauty in him. His outfit reflected off the lights, giving him a glowing look. His eyes were full of determination and blue as ever.

“Get out of my way Piggy.” He stated. I felt my jaw drop, so much confidence. I wasn’t the only one. Both Viktor and Yuuri were slack yaw in awe. He simply walked past Yuuri and onto the ice.

“Well,” Yuuri started to say. “I think he’s found his Agape.”

“Finally!” Him and Viktor shouted. 

=====

I could hear the crowd roar. It seemed to shake me more than motivate me.

“Stay calm.” Yakov told me. “The crowd expects a lot, but don’t let them rattle you.”

“All the work you did in practice won’t betray you.” Lilia told me. I started to zone out and my vision tunneled. 

‘That’s weird. Everything sounds fuzzy.’ I could see people talk, but no sound was coming out. I felt myself wanting to tremble. ‘Calm down, calm down.’

“Yuri!” I finally heard something. I let out a gasp, as I was being held. I looked down and saw Karissa, leaning halfway over the wall to give me a hug. Her arms were wrapped around my neck. I felt myself become flustered. I saw Lilia and Yakov as confused as I was. They announced Piggy’s score but I was too caught up to care

“Kar-”.

“Don’t let them get to you Yuri.” She whispered in my ear. I gulped. “These are your people, they want to do nothing to love and support you.” She pulled back, looking at me. Her cheeks were flushed. “Show them why you are the Ice Tiger of Russia.” I gave her a nod and she smiled at me. “That’s my Kitty.” They started to announce my name, I quickly left, going to the middle of the rink.

‘Damn it.’ I thought to myself. I looked at the side, seeing Karissa standing by Yakov and Lilia. I couldn’t help but become embarrassed. The music started and I opened up my routine. ‘Crap, I’m so flustered, I can’t think straight.’ I knew my first jump was up, a triple axel. I landed, missing the jump and my side hit the ice. I winced in pain before climbing back up. I felt my anger come up.

‘Damn it! I haven’t missed that jump once this last year!’ I took a breath. I saw Karissa, her hands tightly gripped onto the wall, watching me. ‘Come on, feel Agape. What else makes me feel Agape, besides Grandpa?’ I went into my flying sit spin.

As I spun I thought about all the time I spent with Karissa, everything she’s shown me and given me these past months. Everything about her, it just takes my breath away. I wish I could do the same for her. I bit my lip. ‘I need to think of her when I perform, it’s the only way I can reach her. Watch me, Karissa! See me, please!’ I felt a boost as I continued with my step work. I need to make this even better.

I knew I had a combination up next. Quadruple Salchow, I landed and onto the next, a triple toe loop. I landed it, skating backward doing more step work. Up next, was my final jump a quadruple toe loop. I went into it, landing it. I continued to work on my step work, trying to finish the program. I went into my combination spin. The world around me became a blur. ‘Keep going.’ I ended the spin with my ending pose. I heard the crowd cheer.

I let out a gasp as a pair of cat ears fell onto my head. I knew it was from one of my fangirls.

“Yuri!” Karissa cried out, standing by the edge of the ice. “You were amazing!” I smirked, but quickly went away when I saw JJ. He stood nearby, clapping.

“Oh I’m sorry. Ladies first, please.” He told me. I held back a growl and glared at him. ‘I forgot there was someone more annoying than Viktor and Piggy. JJ!’

=====

Yuri scored 98.09, it wasn’t a record-breaker but it was good considering the fact he was distracted. I stood on the outside of the ice stretching, I was up next. I took a deep breath, watching JJ on the ice. He did a good job but his cockiness was distracting. I watched as JJ kissed the ice and rolled my eyes.

“Karissa.” I turned around and saw Lilia, Yakov and Yuri behind me.

“Yes, ma’am.” I told her. She helped me take off my jacket.

“You have to make sure you’re ready, otherwise you’ll end up scrambling at the last minute to get on the ice.” She checked my back to make sure the oxygen machine was secure. I took off my glasses and handed them to her.

“Sorry, I got distracted.” I told her. She brushed my hair back from my face. “Go out there with your head high and remind them why you deserve to be on this ice.” I gave her a nod of confidence. I looked towards Yuri before turning to go on the ice. Right as I made my way to the edge, JJ started to skate in. As soon as he saw me he smirked.

“What’s wrong Ice Princess, scared to go out there and fall on the ice again?” I bit back a growl and put my arm out, gesturing to my side. 

“No, I’m just trying to be a gentleman and let the ladies go first.” I waited for a moment. “...well if you won’t take it, I will.” I walked out onto the ice, he didn’t move so I checked my shoulder with him, causing him to move out of the way. I took a breath and skated out onto the ice, holding onto the wall.

“Blue.” I looked up to see Yuri in front of me. He held his hand in mine. I felt my cheeks flush. “Show them why your the Ice Princess who shouldn’t be messed with.” I gave him a smile.

_ “Jean-Jacques Leroy scored a 113.56, putting him in the first place.”  _ I took a breath and looked at that number, 113.56. I can totally beat that.  _ “Up next is Karissa Faye, age 16.” _ I gave one last look to Yuri before skating out to the ice.

=====

“She’s nervous, if she doesn’t get her head right, she won’t place.” Yakov muttered mostly to himself. I just watched as Karissa took the ice. 

_ “After her last competition, Karissa was hospitalized. Many are worried if she will be able to perform with the use of her oxygen machine.”  _ I bit back a growl. She has worked so hard to keep skating, she went through so much to get here. So don’t even try to say she might not be capable. Even though she had a calm look, I could tell she was feeling distracted.

“Karissa!” I turned to see Piggy run up next to me. “Good luck!” He shouted. “You’ll do great!” 

“Show them what you worked so hard for!” Viktor cheered. She gave them a smile and thumbs up. The music to her program started and she started to skate across the ice gracefully like she owned it. It almost looked like she was dancing instead of skating. 

_ “That step sequence was perfection. Her first planned jump is a Triple Lutz.” _ She went into the jump and rotated three times.  _ “Perfect.”  _ She skated back with a smile on her face.

“She’s changed her program.” I said with a smirk. “She wants to prove herself.” I bet Viktor is eating up every moment of her changing his program. Even though her piece was about sorrow, so much power was coming off of her. Up next was her combination. 

_ “Next is a combination.”  _ She went into the first jump a triple axel, landing it before following with a single loop and finishing with a double Lutz.  _ “The combination was amazing.”  _ The music shifted, becoming more dramatic, this is where the sorrow sets in. I watched as her movements and step sequence seemed lost and confused, but her face was composed.

“For as clumsy as she is, she holds so much beauty when she skates. She’s a force of nature.” Lilia stated aloud.

“She’s beautiful.” Piggy muttered from besides me, I saw he was completely in awe of her. “I’ve seen her skate, but she’s never looked like this before.”

_ “The triple flip is next.”  _ She went into her triple flip but her foot landed wrong and she fell to the ice onto her side. I let out a winse, as I felt myself get nervous. _ “That was a hard fall.”  _ She got back up and went into her spin. At least she got back up and looks okay. She spun on the ice, her costume reflecting the lights above her. Up next is her Quadruple Salchow. She came out of the spin, picking up speed.

“She has changed so much since she first stepped onto the ice in Hatsetsu.” Viktor said with a smile.

_ “Her last jump is a Quadruple Salchow.”  _ I held my breath and watched her, her body is in a different position than when she does a Salchow. She skated into the jump, I let out a gasp watching the jump she went into. Rotating four times she completed a Quadruple Lutz with ease.  _ “Amazing! Karissa did the unthinkable and changed her Salchow into a Lutz, upping the difficulty and points. The only other to do a Quadruple Lutz late into the program is Jean-Jacques Leroy.”  _ I couldn’t help but smile.

‘That’s my Blue! Show JJ what you can do!’ She went into another spin, this time it was more difficult and longer. This seemed similar to my combination spin. She came out of the spin, hitting her final pose. The crowd roared.

_ “Incredible! Karissa Faye gave an amazing performance!”  _ She gave a smile. I watched as a pair of cat ears fell next to her. She picked them up and a cat face plush. She put on the headband as she held onto the cat plushie. She gave a peace sign with a huge smile on her face.

=====

I sat on the bench, waiting for my score. I hope it was what I needed.

_ “Karissa Faye’s scored a 115.26!”  _ I let out a gasp and stood up _ . “That puts her in first place!”  _ The crowd let out a cheer. I felt myself start to tear up. All the work I’ve put towards this hasn't been for nothing. 

“We should go out to eat to celebrate.” I told Yakov and Lilia. I grabbed onto Yuri’s arm and pulled him close. “I think it would be good for us.”

“Geeze, get off me spaz.” Yuri playfully pushed me away. I let out a laugh. Everyone else stopped, I looked over to see Yuuri arguing with Viktor. “What’s with them?” I saw the look on Yuuri’s face and knew something was up. Viktor held his head in frustration. He looked past us. 

“Yakov!” He said as he made his way over to him. “That’s it, thank god!” Viktor grabbed onto Yakov. “I’m so glad you’re here! You are the coach for me!”

“What’s this? Crawling back already?” Yakov asked him.

“It will just be for tomorrow. For one day only will you be Yuri’s coach?”

“Huh?!” Yakov, Yu(u)ri, and I all said at the same time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope everyone is doing well! I just finished finals and have been enjoying even more free time! I've gotten a lot of work done on this story and I can't wait to finish it! Thanks for sticking with me!
> 
> Last night while watching The Cutting Edge, I had an idea. What would you think of doing a Yuri on Ice AU of The Cutting Edge? This, of course, will have Karissa in it too. After thinking about it, I have a possible story line. Let me know what you guys think!


	19. Calm Before the Storm

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> With Viktor leaving, Karissa is going to try everything to makes sure Yuuri keeps his cool.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I kinda struggled with these next chapters but I hope you enjoy them!

“Ask Yakov if you need help or don’t understand something,” Viktor said, standing by the doors of the hotel. He was telling Yuuri goodbye. He pulled Yuuri into a hug. “If you’re in trouble, Karissa will be there. I’m sorry Yuuri. I know I won’t be here, but I’ll be with you in spirit.” Viktor said pulling away from Yuuri. He looked at me. “Promise to look after him.

“I will.” I told him. Viktor gave one last look to Yuuri before leaving to catch his flight.

“I brought back some food.” I called out as I entered his hotel room. I didn’t get a response so I set the bags down. It was dark. I stopped when I saw Yuuri sitting against the wall on the bed. He was breathing heavy and tears were falling down his face. “Yuuri!” I went over to him, sitting in front of him. He’s having one of his panic attacks. I know he hated to be held when he gets panicked like this because it makes it worse. Most of the time I have to talk him through it.

“Just breath for me okay.” I grabbed his hand and he clenched mine. “Deep breath in and out. In and out.” I said as calmly as I could.

“I can’t do it without him.” Yuuri let out. I sighed to myself. I knew this would happen.

“It’s going to be okay.” I reassured him. I moved so I sat next to him. He placed his head on my shoulder, trying to relax.

=====

I tapped my foot in annoyance as I waited at the arena for Karissa. She not only dipped out of dinner but also didn’t show up last night so we could finish our book. She was supposed to be here already. I pulled out my phone and called her. She picked up with a yawn.

“Hello?”

“Blue. Where are you? We were supposed to meet here ten minutes ago.” I heard her shift around.

“Crap! Sorry. I slept in.” I let out a sigh in annoyance. “Listen, since you’re already there can you grab me two coffees?”

“I’m not your errand boy.” I grumbled through the phone. I heard he fumbling something in the background.

“Please Yuri. I’m desperate and I need your help.” I could hear the panic in her voice. She must really be freaked out right now. I let out a breath.

“Fine.”

“Thanks. Your the best person ever. I’ll be over in twenty.” She hung up and I shook my head, leaving to go get her coffees.

=====

I let out a huff as I dragged Yuuri into the rink with me.

“Did we make it?” Yuuri asked, huffing. I looked at the time and saw that his interview was in a couple of minutes and mine was just after his.

“Just barely,” I told him. I zipped up his jacket and fixed his hair so that it was less tousled. Once I saw he was okay and I placed my hands on his shoulders. “You're going to be just fine. I know the press makes you nervous but just say what’s on your heart.” He let out a breath trying to relax before pulling me into a hug.

“You are the best Karissa.”

=====

I let out a light grumble as I carried her two coffees in my hands. I stopped when I saw her pull away from the Pig. I let out a grunt as he went to his interview. Karissa looked over and saw me, even with the bags under her eyes, she lit up.

“You're the best Yuri.” She told me as she ran over.

“Here you go.” I handed her over the two cups, watching as she let out a sigh in relief. She took one of the cups and started chugging down the coffee that was inside of them. I was in awe. I knew she liked coffee but this is ridiculous.

“You know me.” She told me, finishing her first cup, throwing it away. “I need my coffee.” Then taking a drink out of the second cup.

“Something is wrong with you,” I told her. She let out a shrug and drank her coffee.

“Yuri.” We both looked over to Yakov. “Your grandfather’s here if you want to see him.” I felt myself feel better.

“Well go see him.” She told me. I made my way outside where he sat in his car.

“Why are you here?” I asked as he handed me two brown bags. “I didn’t think you were feeling well.” I opened one of the bags, grabbing a pirozhki and taking a bite.

“Hush now. Just eat.” I let out a grunt at the taste.

“Pork, scrambled eggs and rice? What kind of pirozhki is this?”

“A pork cutlet bowl pirozhki. You mentioned liking them. I even made an extra bag for Karissa.” I looked down at the second bag. He placed a hand on my head. “Eat them and do your best in the free skate, Yurochka.” He gave me a smile and I smiled back.

“Da.”

=====

I carefully applied my makeup, hoping to cover the dark circles. Even after my second cup of coffee, I am drained. I was so worried about Yuuri and the competition, I barely slept. Once my face was ready, I gripped the vanity, looking at myself in the mirror. The competition has just started and I’ll be skating last because of my ranking of 1st. Honestly, I was scared to death. But this won’t stop me. I took a big breath, put on my brave face, and left the room.

“Lookie there. It’s the program copier.” I stopped at the voice. I turned and saw JJ just down the hall. Of course, he would have to be waiting for me as I came out. I could tell he was pissed. I did steal his thunder by performing the Quadruple Lutz.

“I was trying to prove a point,” I said crossing my arms. “You aren’t always going to be on top JJ. There will always be someone as good or better than you.” He walked up to me and towered over me. I stood my ground, looking up at him.

“But that isn’t going to be you.” I glared at him. “Because Ice Princess....” He leaned towards me. “You are just a nobody trying to fit in with us. After today you’re going to fail and I’m going to be on top.”

=====

I stood against the wall stretching my legs, watching the Pig. Surprisingly he seemed to be holding it together pretty well considering Viktor isn’t here. I still can’t believe Yakov took that runt in.

“Hey, Piggy.” I called out. He looked over at me, taking out his headphones. He seemed surprised.

“Hey Yurio.” I let out a groan at that name. I finally got Blue to stop calling me that. I shook it off, focusing on why I wanted to talk to him.

“Has Karissa talked to you about anything lately?”

“What do you mean?” He asked in confusion as he stopped stretching. This is so embarrassing trying to talk to him.

“She’s never late so I just wanted to know if she is doing okay.” I turned away moving to my next stretch. “I wasn’t sure if she had said anything to you.”

“Are you worried?” I held back my embarrassment.

“Well yeah. There’s no reason a skater should be late like she was today. Plus she had told me that we would hang out last night.” I was really disappointed when she didn’t show up. This is the first time she’s ever showed me up and it sucked.

“Honestly it was my fault.” He said with a light laugh as I looked at him in confusion. “She was in my room last night after Viktor left, trying to calm me down.”

“What?!” I growled at him. She spent the night with him. That Pig! She chose the Pig over me again! I saw red as I grabbed him and pinned him into the wall.

“Yurio.” He let out a grunt but that didn’t phase me.

“Why is it always you?” I shook with anger as I clenched his jacket. “Why are you always taking her away from me?! I’m the one that’s been there for her! Not you! Why do you always have her by your side?!”

“I…” He tried to say wide-eyed.

“She stays up all night for you, exhausts herself for you! You are going to ruin her chance at winning! If she fails, it’s your fault!” I felt a rough pull on my jacket, making me lose my balance and land hard out the ground. I was about to snap when I saw an angry Karissa above me.

“What is wrong with you?!” She shouted.

“You stayed the night with that Pig! You promised me that you would be with me last night!” She looked surprised but held it back.

“I’m sorry Yuri. I shouldn’t have stood you. Something came up and Yuuri needed me. I figured you of all people would understand.”

“Well, I don’t! Your wasting time on that damn Pig! What if I-”

“I can’t always be around for you like you want me to be!” She snapped, shutting me up. She let out a breath, placing a hand on her hip. I could tell her anger was building. “Obviously I’ve been relying too much on you lately. However, that doesn’t give you a reason to be an asshole to Yuuri! Be an asshole to me! Be angry at me!”

“I-”

“Come on Yuuri.” She said with a sigh before pulling him away with her. I clenched my fist and hit the ground. One wrong move and she is just throwing away everything for him. That dumbass better not ruin this for her!

=====

I let out an annoyed huff, placing my headphones in my ears and blaring the loudest music I had. Yuuri was eyeing me carefully as I helped him stretch, probably thinking I was about to explode. I wanted to blow up right then and there but I need to save it for the ice if I want to get through today's competition. ‘Why does he have to be so aggressive to everyone else all the time? He isn’t like that with me. Why does he always put up that front?’ I shook my head in frustration. ‘He’s just a punk. I shouldn’t be surprised.’ I heard Yuuri say something so I took off my headphones.

“It’s been a long time since I’ve seen you this angry,” Yuuri said light-heartedly. I let out a grumble as I helped push him forward to stretch. “Last time you almost beat-up part of the hockey team.” I couldn’t help but smirk remembering. There were always these junior hockey players who would show up during our practice time and take the ice. The guys would just lay down and take it. But I couldn’t stand it.

“Well I don’t take well to punks,” I told him. “Especially those who pin my friend to a wall.” He let out a light sigh as he changed his stretch.

“You were pretty hard on him.” I scoffed.

“Hard on him? He slammed you into a wall and was yelling in your face. He deserved it. I don’t think he realizes how much his lashing out affects people. It’s time he learned.” Yuuri stopped stretching and gave me a knowing look.

“Well, you did let him down. You told him you were going to be there and you weren’t.” I felt a pit of guilt hit my stomach.

=====

I was walking down the hallway to the rink. All I could think about was her defending that Pig. I need to prove I’m better.

“Hey Yakov.” I told him as him and Lilia separated the curtains for me to walk out.

“What is it?”

“I’m changing the jump composition. I’ll reduce the number of jumps in the first half from four to two.”

“So you’ll have six in the second half?”

“That’s right.”

“That’s suicide.” I don’t care. It’s the only way I can beat out that Pig!

=====

“Yurio is about to go on.” Yuuri reminded me. I shook my head glaring at him.

“Why would I want to watch that punk?” I crossed my arms over my chest and huffed. “Besides it better for you to keep stretching.” Yuuri gave me a knowing look.

“Come on.” He said, grabbing my wrist.

“Hey!” I pulled my arm away. “I am not supporting him. Especially since he was a jerk to you.” Yuuri grabbed by the waist and threw me over his shoulder. I smacked at his back. “Let me go! Why are you so set on me watching him?” He set me down by the curtain that led out to the rink.

“Because I know you’ve been waiting for this.” He pulled me towards the rink.

“But-”

“Watch.” He stood by my side as Yuri took his stance on the ice.

=====

I looked around me, taking a breath when I saw Karissa standing by Pork Cutlet Bowl. I could tell she was pissed but she was still here. Now, she’ll see that I can give her more than that Pig ever can!

=====

_“He is skating to Allegro Appassioinato in B Minor. The program was choreographed by Lilia Baranovskaya, former prima ballerina of the Bolshoi Ballet. For his senior debut, they’ve chosen a piece well known for its difficulty and intensity. This is the first season he has been allowed to attempt quads. Here’s the first of two in this program.”_ I watched him jump and land his Quadruple Salchow, striking the ice with power.

“Next is the Triple Axel out of a spiral,” I said aloud. He went into the triple axel, gaining a huge height in the jump.

“That jump was high,” Yuuri said in amazement. I clenched the wall bellow me.

“Don’t push yourself too hard Yuri. You still have more of the program.” He followed the jump with beautiful step work. I was in awe. This was so much different than on my phone. The calm look on his face. The way the music made my heart race. I waited for his next jump, the triple lutz but it never came. Then it hit me. He wants to do six jumps in the second half.

“You dumbass. You can’t handle that many in the second half. You’re already tired.” I scolded him as if he could hear me. We locked eyes as he came out of his spin. He gave a determined look as he went into his Triple Lutz. He landed it perfectly. Next, Yuri landed his Quadruple Toe Loop that led into a spiral. I could tell his mind was running and he was getting pissed off about something. I head Yuri spat out a curse as he went into his combination of a Quadruple Salchow, Triple Toe Loop.

“Did he just say, shithead?” I asked, holding back a laugh. “That punk, while he’s grateful he has the mouth of a sailor.” I smiled as I watched him. Just seeing him on the ice put me at ease. He went into his Triple Toe Loop and Double Toe Loop combo. I watched with anticipation as his last combo came up. If he lands this, he’ll have a perfect program.

“He’s changed so much…” Yuuri said from beside me. He landed his triple combo of a Triple Axel, Single Loop, Triple Salchow.

_“That’s it! He landed all of his jumps! He refused to give in to pressure here at the Rostelecom Cup, instead of responding to his local fans and delivering a sublime free skate program! Russia must be proud today!”_ He ended his program triumphantly as a huge cheer went over the crowd. Yuri fell onto his knees, trying to catch his breath.

“A performance beyond his limits,” Yuuri muttered out.

“Your ready?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A little bit of tension but I wanted a little bit of drama. I've started work on the last chapter and I'm so excited for you guys to see what I have coming up! Thank you for sticking with me! I know it's a rough story and definitely not perfect in any way so I appreciate the support!


	20. Resolutions at the Rostelecom Cup

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yuuri and Karissa's turn is up. Will Karissa beat JJ and take place first?

_ “Yuri Plisetsky score is 199.87, a personal best.” _ Lilia leaned over and congratulated me. I stood up in triumph. I did it! I made it to the final! _ “ His total score is 297.96. He is currently in first place, and has earned himself a spot in the final!” _

“How do you like my free skate pork cutlet bowl?” I asked aloud. I stopped when I saw him out on the ice, looking nervous.

=====

I watched Yuuri anxiously as he stood out in the middle of the ice. The song for his free skate began to play and I took a breath.

_ “Yuuri Katsuki is in second place after the short program. He is skating to Yuuri on Ice.” _Yuuri completed his step work, but his mind was racing, I could see it. He went into his quadruple toe loop and popped his second jump.

“Come on Yuuri,” I whispered to myself. “Calm down. You can do this.”

“What is that idiot doing?” I head behind me. I saw Yuri stand beside me watching Yuuri’s performance. I bit my tongue. 

“Trying his best. Not everyone can act as perfect as you.” I spat out, feeling guilty. He gave me a look before going back to Yuuri. His step work looked good as always. He went into his next jump, barely landing it before going into a spiral. Up next was his Triple Loop. He used two feet and botched the jump. “Please Yuuri.”

“Idiot!” I jumped at Yuri’s shout. “Come on-!” His shout was cut when a whistle rang out. I looked over and saw JJ standing there. 

“How nice. All supportive now that you’ve clenched your spot in the final. Trying to impress your girlfriend by cheering for her friend. You better save some for her because she’ll need it if she wants to beat me.” Yuri let out a growl at him. I gave him a glare. That idiot is getting on my nerves. 

“Yuri!” I heard Lilia call out. “Let’s go!” Yuri dropped his growl, looking at Lilia then back to me. I’m surprised he even wants to watch my program at this point.

“You better go. You know how she can be.” I told him before giving him the cold shoulder. I heard him let out a sigh of defeat as he walked off with her. 

“Aw. Is someone grumpy?” JJ asked me with a smirk before walking off with a wave. “Better get it together Princess.” I just felt my anger come back. I looked back to Yuuri. He seemed more focused now. What changed?

He landed a Triple Flip and next his Triple Axel, Single Loop, and Triple Salchow.

“You got it Yuuri.” I said aloud. He landed his Triple Lutz, Triple Toe Loop combination. “Yes!” He went into his step sequence next.

_ “In this step sequence, you can feel Yuuri Katsuki’s love, a love he can only express on the ice.” _ He ended his program and the crowd cheered. He laid down on the ice trying to catch his breath. I let out a light sigh of relief.

“Yuuri!” I called out, catching his attention. I held out my arms for a hug like Viktor would normally do at the end of a program. He got up from the ice and tackled me into a giant bear hug that nearly knocked me off my feet. “Why don’t we get you to the Kiss and Cry?” I carefully led him over to the Kiss and Cry, met with a very angry Yakov. I left Yuuri there, knowing that he would have the press waiting for his interview.

I let out a light grumble as JJ got off the ice. He eyed me with a smirk before going over to the Kiss and Cry. I rolled my eyes, taking off my jacket and glasses. Since there was no one there to take them, I laid them on the wall. I covered the yawn I let out and saw JJ ended up scoring a 315.54. That’s pretty high for today's scores. I shook it off, taking a deep breath. Don’t let the pressure get to you.

_ “On the ice representing the USA, Karissa Faye.” _ I skated out onto the ice, greeting the crowd. I could add another quad to help with points. That would be nearly impossible, especially how tired I am. _ “During her last Free Skate, Faye has suffered a hard fall. We’ve been waiting to see how she handles todays program.” _I felt a pit of nerves in my stomach, trying to shake it off. I looked to the edge of the ice for support but no one was there, except for a beaming JJ. I let out a gulp as my program started. The familiar beat of the song helped pick me up as I started to move across the ice.

“Damn it.” I cursed to myself as my body felt sluggish. I went into my first jump and landed my Quadruple Toe Loop, with shakely. I heard the announcers but I tuned them out. Come on Karissa, get fired up. You need to be filled with passion! I took a deep breath as I went into my Triple Lutz, Triple Axel combo. I landed it perfectly and felt a sigh of relief come over me. As I went into my spin all I could think about was how to fire myself up. All I can think about is that Quadruple Salchow I landed hard on last time. ‘I won’t let you get me down.’ played and I skated out of my spin.

_ “That was a beautiful combination spin.” _As I went into my step work. As I got closer to my Quad my stomach dropped.

~~~~~

“Keep it up Karissa!” Lilia called out to me as I came out of my spin and into my step work. I was tired and frustrated. This is the seventh time she’s ran my program and she keeps stopping me. How did Yuri do this without losing his temper? I landed my Quadruple Salchow and was ready to move into my next combo. “Stop!” I let out a grunt in frustration as I slowed my speed to look at her. She just looked back at me in disapproval as she paused the music.

“Well? What now?” I asked, trying to keep my anger down.

“I gave you a pass on ballet because we were short on time, but that doesn’t give you and excuse to be sloppy.” Sloppy huh? Just because I don’t walk around like I have to balance books on my head, I’m sloppy. “You are too focused on you Quad Salchow that your fear overshadows you. I will make you do that jump again and again until you can land it with no hesitation. The Karissa who stumbled through her programs on the ice is dead. Show me a new Karissa who is stronger and confident in her jumps.” She clapped her hands. “From the beginning, again.”

“Ved-” I began to skate back to the middle of the rink.

“Women do not use unattractive words.” I bit back my curse and flinched. I guess I’ve been around Yuri too much. “Now, show me confidence!”

~~~~~

Without thinking, I went into my Quadruple Salchow landing it with ease. I let out a light laugh in relief. I quickly pulled myself out of my celebration ready for my next combo. I landed a Triple Flip and Double Toe Loop. I let out a heavy breath. I never realized how heavy on jumps this was. This next one is the hardest combo I have. I help my breath going into my triple axel, single loop, and making my last triple flip a double.

“Crap! I popped it!” I felt panic taking over me. I’m starting to wear down. I thought I would have enough stamina. One mistake and I’ll lose first to JJ, I am not ready for that jerk to win! He has done nothing but patronize me this entire time! Filled with a little more energy, I landed my Triple Salchow. Good, keep going. First it was JJ then Yuri had to go and piss me off too. What is it with jerks messing with me today?! I went into my Triple Lutz, landing it with ease before going into my next spin. 

With my step work coming up, I can focus on my energy on my last jumps. I came out of my spin, moving across the ice. This is it, up next is my combo and last Quad. If I don’t land these, I won’t beat JJ. I have to finish strong. First was my Triple Toe Loop, Double Toe Loop combo. I felt relieved as I landed it, dreading the Quad coming up. Here we go. I let out a shout in effort as I went into my Quadruple Flip, just barely landing it.

The music ended and I hit my final stance feeling my legs shake in exhaustion. My body gave in and I fell onto my knees. I placed my hands on the ice trying to catch my breath. I was so focused on my program I didn’t notice how hard I was pushing my body. I pulled myself off of the ice and over to the Kiss and Cry.

_ “Karissa Faye’s score is an impressive 201.23. Making her combined score 314.49.” _ I felt my shoulders slump in defeat. _ “She fell one point below _ _ Jean-Jacques Leroy putting her in second place!” _ I clenched my fists into the skirt of my dress. I was so close.

I gathered my things, feeling defeated. That was until I heard a yell, poking my head out in the hallway to see Yuuri hugging Mickey. I let out a laugh.

“Was that Mickey screaming?” Emil asked, coming seamlessly out of nowhere. Yuuri quickly went over and gave him a hug. “Are we having a hugging competition right now?” Seung Gil walked by and Yuuri hugged him as well, all Seung Gil did was let out a light whimper.

“Y’see, JJ style is-” JJ was next forced into a hug.

“No!” I heard a familiar Russian voice shout. “Stay away from me.” I looked over and died laughing at Yuri as he ran down the hallway away from Yuuri, who was chasing him. 

“Come on Yuuri.” I told him, holding out my arms for a hug. He pulled me into a tight one before pulling me along with him, still not saying anything. I looked back and saw everyone dumbfounded. “What can I say. He’s a hugger.” As we got further away I smiled at him. “You know just how to cheer me up.”

=====

I was walking back to the hotel when I saw Piggy standing by the rail tracks. I took a running start, kicking him into the snow. He let out a light grunt as I landed.

“There you are, Pork Cutlet Bowl. I’ve been looking for you.” I told him. He quickly scrambled up in fear. It was pathetic.

“Please don’t hurt me again Yurio.” He begged and I smirked to myself.

“I’m not going to hurt you.” I waved him off. “That kick was for all that hugging earlier. It creeped me out. Not only that but your free skate was pathetic! Your only excuse was because Viktor wasn’t here, okay!” I quickly tossed him my bag of Pirozhki.

“I’m only giving this to you because your birthday is coming up.” I crossed my arms at him. “Now shut up and eat them.” He stood up, taking a bite.

“Hey, there’s rice in here. Pork and egg too?” He continued to eat. “Is this your way of apologizing?” He smiled. I grumbled, turning away.

“Just accept them before I take them away.”

“Yurio.” I looked over at him. “What you said about Karissa earlier, did you really mean it?” I bit my tongue. I really don’t want to talk to him about this. “There’s no need to be jealous. I’m with Viktor.” I clenched my fists.

“I just don’t understand,” I admitted. “No matter how much you screw up or let her down she’s still there and still is mesmerized by your skating. I-” I bit my lip feeling my body feel with emotions. “I want her to look at me the way she looks at you! I want to fill her with passion and reach her the way she reached me!”

“But she already does.” I felt my heart stop.

“She does?”

“Every time you take the ice she’s mesmerized. She loves watching you skate. Did you really not notice?” I saw the slight smirk on his face. “You should talk to her. You may not know this about her yet, but she feels awful after arguments. Her temper gets the best of her and she says things that she regrets. She also doesn’t think rationally when she’s hungry so food calms her down.”

“Da.” I said lightly. I don’t know what I’m feeling, but it feels good.

  
  


=====

I practically collapsed on my bed when I got back to the hotel. I pulled my phone closer and looked at the screen saver. It was me and Yuri back in St. Petersburg, in front of a lion statue. I let out a light grumble, burying my face in my arms. I need to apologize, don’t I? I let out a huff in defeat as I climbed off the bed. I opened the door and came face to face with Yuri. We both looked at each other awkwardly. He thrust a bag into my hands suddenly.

“Here.” I looked down at the brown bag in confusion before opening it. It was a bag full of piroshki. “There from my grandpa.” My stomach let out a loud growl and I blushed. Yuri looked at me amused.

“Don’t be smug.” I grunted out, taking a piroshki and taking a bite. I held back my surprise, this is just like a pork cutlet bowl. I quickly ate into the first one before grabbing another. I didn’t realize how hungry I was. I placed the bag on the side table and a hand on my hip playfully. “Are you trying to apologize by giving me food?” He looked to the side embarrassed. 

“The Pig told me it would help. I’m sorry.” I looked at him surprised. He actually talked to Yuuri civilly. And not only that but he’s actually apologizing. I looked over the punk in front of me. The look of guilt on his face threw me off and I felt a wave of guilt come over me.

“I’m sorry about last night. I shouldn’t have done that, I shouldn’t have put Yuuri before you.” I said carefully. “Yuri.” He wouldn’t look at me. I wrapped my arms around him, pulling him into a hug. He was tense, not touching me before he relaxed. I felt his arms hold my waist. “Your just as important to me. I’m sorry if I hadn’t shown you that.” I pulled back slightly and placed a kiss to his cheek. He tensed up, looking down at me. “I’m here now.” 

“I-” He clenched his fists.“I can’t believe that bastard JJ beat us both out!” He started to rant. It caused me to smile. “I just want to beat the crap out of him!” Yep, back to his old self. I grabbed his arm, tugging him into my room.

“Come on. Get in here before you cause a scene.”

  
  


~ Two Weeks Later~

I let out a yawn as I crawled out of bed. Potya let out a meow as he followed me out of my door. As I walked down the hallway, Potya ran ahead of me. I watched as he ran to Karissa who automatically scooped him up in her arms. I stood by the doorway of the kitchen, watching her cuddle him. I smiled remembering what happened last night.

~~~~~

“Do we really have to watch your show when we get back?” Karissa groaned as we walked across the bridge on the way home from the rink. It was a longer practice today, focusing on improvements before Barcelona. “You won’t turn on the subtitles so I have no idea what’s going on.”

“Because it ruins the experience.” I held back a smirk. I can get some payback too Blue. “Maybe you should learn Russian.” I watched as she pulled her scarf over her face to block it from the cold. “Is the Ice Princess cold?” I smirked, pulling out my phone. I heard a grumble and felt a light punch to the side of my arm.

“Винт ты, мудак.” She spat out. I stopped in shock, almost dropping my phone. Her Russian was smooth and almost perfect...even if she called me an asshole.

“How...” She lightly waved her hand which cut me off.

“Don’t get used to it. I only learned that phrase so that way when I curse you out I know you understand it.” I could hear the smirk in her voice. “I’ve actually picked up a lot from you. You aren’t the best influence.” I’m glad my face was flushed from the cold because it would be bright red. As we stood in the middle of the bridge she looked out across the water. “Hey Kitty. What would you think if I stayed in Russia?”

“You're already staying here.” I crossed my arms. She gave me a light eye roll, pulling down her scarf.

“Идиот. I mean after the finals. Would you be okay if I moved here to train?” It felt like someone just dropped a nuclear bomb on me. She wants to stay. And train with me. “I mean I haven’t asked Lilia yet, but I think she wouldn’t mind. I mean, she's practically already been training me.” I didn’t know what I felt but it felt good. She waved her hand in front of my face. “You okay Yuri? Listen if your not okay with-”

“Yes!” I shouted, making her jump. I let out an embarrassed grumble. “You really want to stay? I felt like an idiot. She smiled playfully.

“I told you I would be there for you.”

~~~~~

“Morning.” Karissa said sleepily to me, pouring herself a cup of coffee. Potya rubbing against her legs. I went to the fridge and pulled out some food.

“Hungry Blue?”

“Starving.” I smirked as I pulled out enough for me and her. She sat out the countertop, drinking her coffee while I made breakfast. “I’m thinking about asking Lilia to be my coach later today. Maybe at the rink.” I held back a smile. I still couldn’t believe she was sticking around.

“Hope you're ready for you to sell your soul to her.” I gave her a devious smirk. She seemed unfazed.

“I can handle selling my soul, but I never thought it would be to a prima ballerina.” She gave me a shrug

“Who else would you sell it to?” She innocently took a drink of her coffee.

“A demon butler named Sebastian.” I felt a tinge of annoyance. Is she still obsessed with that show? How can I keep up with a handsome, cat loving demon?! “Morning Yakov.” I looked behind me to see Yakov come in and grab a cup of coffee. I grabbed a plate and plated up her food. She was about to start eating when Yakov chimed in.

“You should take it out to the table. You know how Lilia is.” He grunted out.

“Right. Sorry.” She said, hopping off the counter. She placed a kiss to my cheek. “Thanks for breakfast Kitty.” As she walked away, I turned, hiding my red face. Geeze that girl.

“Yuri.” Yakov snapped me out of thoughts. “I’m concerned about your relationship with Karissa.” I stopped what I was doing, holding back my temper.

“What about it?” I grit my teeth. I didn’t want to lose it on him.

“I don’t want you to end up like Georgi, heartbroken over a girl. You better be serious about her. If you aren’t careful, she could ruin your career.” I slammed my hand down on the counter, turning to face him. He has some nerve!

“Just because you can’t keep a relationship with Lilia doesn’t mean I can’t have one with Karissa!” I grabbed my food leaving. “Don’t drag me down because you aren’t happy with yourself!” 

“Yuri!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another chapter down! I wanted to throw in a Black Butler reference because of Sebastian's obsession with cats.  
I hope you're enjoying the story so far! I can't wait for you to read what I have in store for Barcelona! Expect a lot of Kyuri!


	21. Arriving in Barcelona

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What will happen in Barcelona?

I tried to move to get comfortable but these plane seats always get cramped after an hour. I was listening to music but I watched Karissa. She was reading a book Lilia gave her to study. After asking to be her coach, she officially sold her soul. The book was about the history of ballet. Being as Karissa had time before she started training, Lillia wanted to help/(torture) her by making her learn everything before she got into training. It was English so I didn’t have the joy of reading it to her. I looked at her amused as she read. I never noticed all the little things she does. She was biting her lip in concentration as she read and lightly tapping her finger against the side of the book. Like clockwork, she adjusted every five minutes. I just shook my head lightly. You are so interesting, Blue.

=====

“Yuri! Check yourself in now!” Yakov shouted at Yuri. We all just arrived at the hotel in Barcelona. Yuri let out a grunt.

“You check-in for me. I don’t feel like dealing with it.” He told Yakov and started to walk off. 

“Here,” I said taking the key card to the room. Geeze, as punky as ever. I heard familiar squeals of Yuri’s Angels. Yuri tensed up as he looked at a large group in the lobby.

“Yurochka!”

“Can we get an autograph?”

“How about a photo!”

“You Vetm-” Yuri started to growl out.

“Yuri Plisetsky! We do not use such unattractive words.” Lilia called out making Yuri let out a grunt and reluctantly went over to his fangirls. I let out a giggle as they placed cat ears on his head and made him pose for multiple pictures. 

=====

‘This is humiliating.’ I thought as I stood there, cat ears on my head around a bunch of my fangirls. 

“So this is the little one you’ve told me about.” I heard someone say. I looked over and saw that annoying jerk JJ and his dumb girlfriend talking out loud and looking at Karissa. She looked up from her phone at them.

“Huh?” I asked. JJ walked up to her and ruffled her hair, and I felt myself growl. ‘Get your hands off her bastard!’

“Yep, this little one is the USA’s, Ice Princess.” She looked at them annoyed. “She’s always with the Angry Russian.”

“Oh.” The girlfriend said as she looked down at Karissa. “What an interesting couple.” She looked up towards JJ. “But we’re a better couple. I can show restraint when it comes to my emotions. Not to mention I’m cuter.” I felt myself explode and let out a growl.

“Who the hell do you think you are, talking about her like that? Vedma!” I shouted, coming behind Karissa, wrapping my arms around her waist. I was giving them a death glare while pulling her into my chest.

“He’s a scary little boy. Protect me JJ.” She asked him.

“Don’t pay attention to him, darling. He’s just jealous because my fiance is so beautiful.” He told her. 

“As if!” I shouted, pulling Karissa closer. “Karissa is way more beautiful than that bitch will ever be! On and off the ice!”

“Hey now easy.” JJ tried to negotiate. “We’re all friends here, aren’t we?” I looked to the side to see the Yuri’s Angels and JJ fangirls clashing. “Otabek!” He called out suddenly. “Going out?” I looked over and saw one of the other skaters.

“Just getting some food.” He answered.

“Going out to eat alone, still as odd as ever, aren’t you? You can join us for dinner if you want.” JJ told him.

“Thanks. I’ll pass.” He told them before looking over our way. I instinctively tightened my grip around her waist.

“Hey? Why are you staring at us, asshole?” I asked before he turned and walked off. ‘Weird.’

“Yuri.” Karissa strained, tapping my arm quickly. “I can’t breathe.” I let out an embarrassed blush, letting her go.

=====

“Dumb JJ and his bitch,” Yuri muttered as he paced through his hotel room. “Who do they think they are, calling you out like that?!” I sat on one of the armchairs watching him. “We’re going to give him what he deserves!”

“Yuri…” I muttered holding my head. He always gets too angry and fired up. “I don’t get why you are so worked up.” I got up and grabbed his hand before setting him down on the footrest separate from the armchair. 

“Because they had no right to say that! You are beautiful and amazing and-” My face turned as red as a tomato. He stopped his rant and looked at me blushing. “I mean…” Yuri looked to the side embarrassed. I almost laughed. Such a tsundere. I leaned forward and placed a kiss on his cheek. He started to open his mouth like he was going to say something but no words came out.

“Thank you.” I told him. I got up and grabbed something out of my bag.

“Wait where are you going?” Yuri asked me, face bright red.

“Cannonball!” I shouted as I took a running start into the pool. I fell into the cold water. I quickly surfaced, gasping out of shock of the cold. I focused on slowing my breathing down as I swam over to the side of the pool to put the oxygen tube into my nose, taking in a deep breath.

“I’m surprised you wanted to go swimming as cold as it is.” Viktor told me as he floated towards me on his back. “I mean I’m used to the cold weather. You better not get a cold.” He teased. I rolled my eyes. 

“I won’t. Plus why not swim when there is such a nice pool.” I told him. “As you told me before Life and Love are important too. And right now I’m trying to live life to the fullest.”

“Using my own words against me?” Viktor said, giving me a noogie. “What about the Love part?” I was about to answer, embarrassed when I heard someone else's voice.

“I figured that a Russian would be the only one besides me stupid enough to get into the pool this time of year.” I heard someone call out. I looked back to see Christophe standing by the edge of the pool. “But the Ice Princess proves me wrong again.” He was wearing the hotel robe and carried champagne glasses and bottles with him. 

“Chris!” Viktor called out.

“Hi. How’s Coach Viktor and the Princess?” 

“What are you doing out by the pool?” I asked, swimming up to the side.

“Here I was hoping I would get to go skinny dipping.” He leaned down towards me and caressed my face. I felt myself flush.

“Don’t let me stop you.” Viktor told him nonchalantly. “I’ll even take pictures if you want.”

“Viktor!” I shouted. Chris let out a laugh. 

“Don’t worry Princess. I wouldn’t do that with you here.” He told me.

I silently shook my head as Viktor and Christophe were compiling a photoshoot to post online. And of course, it was sexual as always. I covered my face and quickly got out of the water. I started to shiver in the cold air. I wrapped one of the hotel’s towels around me hoping for warmth.

=====

I flopped onto the bed flipping through channels trying to get her out of my head. I let out a huff when I heard the door to my hotel opened. I glanced over and saw Karissa trying to warm herself with a hotel towel. She was soaking wet and shivering. I quickly sat up.

“Y-Yuri. Can I b-borrow some warm clothes?”

“You idiot. Why did you go swimming?!” I made my way over to her and quickly pulled her towards the bathroom. 

“It s-sounded f-fun.”

“Do you know how dangerous that is? Especially with your asthma!” I yelled at her. I wanted to hate myself for yelling at her but I don’t ever want to see her like that again.

“Warmth. Please.” I snapped out of my anger as she looked up at me shivering, almost like a soaked kitten.

“Here.” I said as I rummaged through my suitcase and pulled out a sweatshirt and sweatpants. She quickly took them and went into the bathroom. I sat down on my bed holding my head. Why can’t I keep my temper in check? Here she is, freezing and I’m getting onto her. I heard the bathroom door open. There she stood in my clothes, hair wet from the pool.

“Thank you.” She said as she sat down next to me, arms around her. I could feel her still shaking beside me.

“Still cold?” I asked her.

“A little.” I pulled her towards me so we were laying next to each other and pulled the covers over us. Her face was bright red as she tried to inch away from me. I shook my head and pulled her into my chest. 

“You need to be closer to me to be warm.” She was stiff but eventually, she relaxed and laid her head on my shoulder. I quickly shook off the blush that filled my face and started to flip through channels trying to find something that was enjoyable in Spanish.

“Let’s watch this.” She told me. I looked at the screen. It was some animated movie I didn’t recognize.

“Doesn’t look that good.” I flicked to the next channel.

“Are you serious?” She asked sitting up. I almost chuckled at her reaction. Back to her old self I see. She crossed her arms. “Oliver and Company is a classic.”

“It’s just a movie about a bunch of dogs. Not that great.” She reached for the remote and I pulled it out of her reach.

“But it’s my favorite movie.” She grunted, still reaching for the remote.

“Nope. It’s my room, my tv.” She stopped reaching for the remote and smirked at me.

“The main character is a cat named Oliver.” I got excited.

“Really?” I asked, going back to the channel. Sure enough, there was a small orange cat on screen. I looked back and saw her give me a look of triumph. “I guess it doesn’t look that bad.”

“Whatever kitty.” She laid back against me as we watched the movie.

The movie ended with the credits. I let out a yawn and stretched, well as best as I could with her laying on me. I looked down to see Karissa fast asleep. Her hair fell over her face, almost dry, snoring softly. I felt her grab me closer. She was resting her head on my chest, arm resting on my stomach. Our legs were tangled with each other. I reached my arm around her shoulder and pulled her closer to me. She looked so calm like this. I leaned down and placed a kiss to the top of her head. 

“What is this girl doing to me?” I asked myself.

=====

The next day all of us were gathered at the rink to have a day of practice before the competition. I did two rounds of each of my routines. Both the Free Skate and Short Program. So far my jumps were good, all I need to focus on is adding harder jumps for more points. I felt like I had trained enough.

“Blue.” I turned around and saw Yuri handing me a granola bar. I looked at him confused. “Eat. I don’t want you hangry later.” I let out a small laugh, taking the bar.

“I was starting to get hungry. Thanks for taking care of me Kitty.” Yuri went back onto the ice, ready to practice more.

“Enough practice for today,” JJ told us. “I’m off everybody.” I saw Yuri give a frustrated growl as he glared at the Canadian.

“Right. Let’s go over it one more time Yuri.” Yakov told him. I went over to my bag I brought so I could change before we went sightseeing. I grabbed it and went to the bathroom.

=====

I finished running my routine and was changing. ‘It seemed almost flawless but what if it isn’t enough?’ I wore my white jacket with my hoodie under it. I wore a white tiger shirt with black jeans and my normal shoes. I checked my phone, walking out of the bathroom. As I got to the door out of the rink I saw Karissa leaning against the wall by the door.

She had on a blue sweater under her cat jacket. In her hair, she wore a ribbon that held back her hair. “Hey.” She said when she saw me looking. “Ready to go?”

=====

I had taken Yuri to every place I could sightsee in a reasonable distance. Yuri was grumbling the entire time but he didn’t have his normal frown.

First, we saw the Sagrada Família

“Look!” I said as I took a picture, standing back as far as I could to get the whole thing.

“What is it?” Yuri asked, looking at the building. 

“It’s the Sagrada Familia. It was designed by Antoni Gaudí. Construction began in 1882, but it’s unfinished.” I told him, looking at the cranes in the background. “Which is why they have cranes working on it.”

“How did you know all of that?” Yuri seemed amazed. I pulled my purse to the side and showed him the tourist guide I bought.

“I did my research, you can’t go to foreign places and not know what you’re looking at. It ruins the experience.” Yuri still gaped at me. “Come on. Selfie.” I said pulling him next to me, taking a picture. I let out a giggle and posted it online.

=====

We continued walking towards Passeig de Gràcia. The held Barcelona’s luxury stores. I could tell Karissa had prep in her step. She’s always so excited to explore and see new things. And she knows so much, it’s kinda intimating. Her hand was swinging beside her and mine what right next to it. I brushed my hand against hers before grabbing it. She stopped walking, looked at our hands then looked at me blushing.

“Uh…” I said blushing. “Your hand looked cold, so I figured I should warm it up.” I tried saying nonchalantly.

“It’s fine…” She said, looking at her feet as she toed the ground. “Just threw me off, that’s all. Come on. We don’t have much time.” She pulled me along, hands still help. Her hand felt so small in mine.

After looking through the shops we weren’t having much luck in finding anything we really wanted. I was looking at some of the clothes, all were too fancy and too expensive for me. I walked past the jewelry counter and stopped when something caught my eye.

“Kitty!” Karissa whined. “Hurry up, I have to go to the bathroom.” She was hopping from foot to foot.

“Go ahead. I’ll meet you there.” I told her as she quickly took off to the bathroom.

“Find something you like?” The person behind the counter asked me. 

=====

I stood waiting for Yuri by the bathroom. What is taking him so long? I checked my phone but I had nothing from him.

“Sorry Blue.” I looked up to see Yuri quickly coming over to me.

“I was wondering where you went. Come on, we still have to go see Casa Batlló.” I was about to head that way when I heard a squeal.

“Yurochka!” I quickly turned around and saw a whole bunch of Yuri’s Angels coming our way.

“Run!” Yuri grabbed my hand as we ran through the streets of Barcelona. They stayed on our tail for a while. Yuri quickly pulled me down an alleyway, panting. I could hear his fans getting closer.

“Yurochka, where are you?” He hid behind one of the buildings, catching his breath.

“I wanted him to come to the fan meeting.”

“I have his scent! It leads that way!”

“Are they always like this?” I asked, slightly annoyed. “Пиздец”

“Crap! How can we escape them?” Yuri asked aloud. I heard the sound of an engine and looked over as someone riding a motorcycle stopped in front of us.

“You two, get on.” The person said, tossing me a helmet.

“Otabek?” I asked.

“What? Why would you…?” He stopped when the fangirls found us.

“Hey, it’s Yurochka!” I quickly put on the helmet and climbed onto the motorcycle, putting my hands on Otabeks back. “And he’s with Karissa Faye and Otabek Altin!”

“What will it be?” Otabek asked him.

“Are you coming or not Yuri?” I asked him. Yuri climbed on behind me, wrapping his arms around my waist. I was pushed against Otabek as we all tried to fit on the bike. Otabek took off and Yuri tightened his grip on my waist, I blushed when I felt him lay his head on my shoulder.

=====

“So where should we go next?” Karissa asked as she walked between me and Otabek. After me and Otabek talked we were walking around, looking at all the lights set up for Christmas.

“Most of the shops will be closing soon.” Otabek told me. She walked by a display window and stopped.

“We have to go in here now!” She shouted. She grabbed both our wrist and pulled us inside.

“What are you doing?!” I asked, mostly annoyed. She held up a finger.

“Hold on and wait here.” She said before grabbing something off a rack and talking it with her to the dressing room.

“What was that about?” Otabek asked me.

“Who knows?” I said, stuffing my hands in my pockets, feeling the black box.

“Ta-da!” I heard her call out. I turned to look and my mouth dropped open. She wore a white sweater. It was cut so that it showed her shoulders. On the front was a tiger. “What do you think?”

“It uh, I...well…” She gave me a confused look. What’s wrong with me? Why can’t I get a single word out?

“That looks great on you.” Otabek commented. She gave him a smile.

“Thanks, Beka.” She said before going to change out of it.

“Beka?” I asked him. He gave me a shrug. 

“Guess she gave me a nickname.” I don’t know why but I felt a ping of something hit me. She came out holding it.

“So should I get it?” She asked. “It reminded me of the tiger sweatshirt you bought in Japan.” She told me. Now that I look at it, it does. “Maybe we could match.”

“Of course you're getting it.” I said pushing her towards the registrar. “That looked amazing on you.” She blushed.

“Thanks, Kitty.” 

=====

As Beka said, most of the shops were closed already. I felt my stomach growl out loud.

“Hungry?” Yuri asked me.

“Yeah, I haven’t eaten very much lately besides that granola bar.” I told him, slightly embarrassed.

“Well let’s eat before you get all hangry.” 

“Why don’t we all go out to eat?” Beka asked. “It’s on me.”

“You don’t have to do that,” Yuri told him.

“You guys are my friends, I don’t mind.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've been excited to post this chapter since I finished writing it so I'm excited for you to see what's next!
> 
> I've started work on an Assassination Classroom fanfiction so hopefully, if I get enough work done it will be ready to post in a couple of months!


	22. Night Before The Grand Prix

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yuri has a surprise for Karissa planned. I wonder how it will go...

“-So then Kitty kicked Yuuri through the doorway of the ice rink-”

“Do we really have to tell this story?” Yuri groaned out. I was sitting next to Yuri explaining to Otabek across from us, how we first officially met.

“And I was there in shock. As he was rubbing his foot onto Yuuri’s head, all I saw was red. I yanked him by the hood of his jacket and pinned him to the wall with my arm.”

“That wasn’t a good first impression,” Otabek said with a chuckle. 

“I was pissed at Pork Cutlet Bowl for taking Viktor away, he screwed up the promise Viktor made me.” Yuri tried to explain himself.

“Whatever,” I said, playfully bumping him with my elbow. “You just wanted an excuse to kick someone, Mr. Russian Punk.”

“Well, it’s not as bad as the time you freaked out when you saw a spider in the locker room.” Yuri gave me a triumphant smirk.

“Don’t you dare tell that story!” I shouted, trying to hold his mouth closed. He put his hand on my forehead, pushing me away from him. And of course, my short arms couldn’t reach him.

“It was right after she got back on the ice. Her and Mila went to go change after a day of training.”

“No!” I cried out, pushing harder against his hand.

“Midway through changing apparently she saw a spider and ran out of the locker room, half-dressed,” Yuri explained, keeping me held at bay. “It was humiliating, to say the least.”

“It freaked me out, okay!” Yuri let his hand drop and I flicked him on the nose. 

“Ow! What was that for?” He cried out.

“I don't want you to tell that story.” I huffed at him. I heard Otabek laugh as he looked at us.

“You two argue like an old married couple.” We looked at each other and blushed.

=====

“Hey, Rissa.” I heard someone call out causing Karissa to light up. I turned around and saw Chulanont. What was he doing here?

“Phichit!” She shouted, jumping up out of her seat. I watched in shock as she practically jumped into his arms. He caught her, pulling her into a hug. I felt a knot in my stomach come up and tried to push it away. I knew they were friends but this is a bit much.

“Well look at you.” He told her, taking a step back and looking over her. “You’ve grown maybe an inch since last time I saw you.” She gave him a playful punch in the arm causing him to laugh.

“Even if you are still a jerk, I missed you Hamster Boy.” She flashed a smile at him. She has a nickname for him too? “What are you doing here?”

“I was actually going to meet up with Yuuri, Viktor, and Chris for dinner. Mind if I join you guys?” He gestured to me and Otabek. ‘Hell no.’

“Come on.” She pulled him over to the table and sat him next to her. Of course, she would. “Yuri, Otabek, you probably already know him but this is Phichit. We were rink mates back in the good old days.” Otabek greeted him but I let out a grumble.

“We’ve met.” I told her roughly. 

=====

I let out a laugh as Mari and Minako sat at a table with all the other skaters. Christophe, Phichit, Yuri, Otabek, me, Yuuri, and Viktor. They were sobbing in joy when they were able to see all of them in person.

“Way to play it, cool guys,” Yuuri said with a groan.

“Why do we all have to eat together?” Yuri asked in annoyance. I flicked one of his knuckles.

“Down Kitty. Don’t be rude, try to be social for once.” I told him. He gave me a huff before turning his head away. What’s with him?

“It is kinda weird, I mean all of us hanging out together like this before the competition. It’s a lot different from last year. I was always on my own then, at the banquet, too. I didn’t even have the nerve to talk to Viktor.” Both me and Viktor spit out part of our drinks when he said that.

“Are you seriously telling me you don’t remember?” Viktor asked Yuuri, very seriously. Yuuri looked confused.

“Huh?” Yuuri asked.

“It wasn’t your proudest moment.” I added with a sigh.

“At the banquet, you got wasted on champagne and started dancing. Everyone was watching.” Christophe told him as Yuuri gasped.

“It was the most disgusting thing I’ve ever seen,” Yuri grumbled out. “I got dragged into a dance-off. It was humiliating.” I chuckled to myself.

“A dance-off? You’re kidding.” Yuuri looked like he had experienced true horror. “Say you're kidding.”

“It’s true. I danced on a pole and got naked. Well, mostly.” Chris said with a coy smirk. It’s hard to forget.

“And since I was your plus one, I struggled to get you home. You not only tried to grope me in front of everyone, but you also threw up on me.” I cringed at the memory. It took forever to get the stain out of my dress. Yuuri let out a scream in terror. After last year's final, he decided to drink instead of socializing. Which meant one very drunk Yuuri.

“I still have videos if you want to see.” Viktor held up his phone. Yuuri screeched. 

“Me too,” Christophe said showing his phone to Phichit. “But there not for the faint of heart.” Phichit gaped at what he saw.

“Are you serious? Yuuri, that’s so dirty!”

“Yeah…” Minako and Mari said looking over their shoulders. “We’re going to have to see that.”

“No don’t look, I’m begging you!” Yuuri cried out, waving his arms. On his hand, I saw a flash of gold. There was a ring on his finger. I looked at it cocking my head.

“So, what's with the rings you boys are wearing?” Christophe asked he must have noticed too. 

“Huh?” Everyone else asked.

“What rings?” Mari asked.

“Since when do you wear jewelry?” Minako asked.

“Um, I don’t know what you're talking about?” Yuuri stammered. Viktor smirked, showing off the identical rings.

“And look they match.” Both me and Phichit let out a gasp.

“Congratulations on your marriage!” Phichit cheered.

“What?!” Yuuri shouted. “No! Wait!” But it was too late.

“Everybody!” Phichit shouted to the restaurant. “My good friend just got married! Woo-hoo!” He shouted as the restaurant went into applause and praises. Me and Otabek clapped and Yuri gaped at them.

“No! Stop! Really!” Yuuri tried to call out to the crowd. “It’s a good luck charm...and a thank you...and you know…there are layers!”

“Yes, you’ve got it wrong. This is actually an engagement ring.” Viktor said showing off his ring.

“Can I be apart of the wedding?” I asked, jumping up. “I can be the flower girl or the maid of honor.”

“Hell no,” Yuri grunted out.

“Don’t ruin this for me!” I grumbled at him.

“Well, we won’t get married until he wins the gold medal. Right, Yuuri?” Viktor added. I could feel the tension in the room. You could cut it with a knife. Everyone last one of the male skaters glared at Yuuri.

“Gold…”

“Metal…”

“Huh?”

“Tch!”

“Right. Guys, well…” Yuuri tried to explain. “I...uh…”

“You’re kidding me right?” A voice rang out. I looked up to see JJ with his fiance. “I’ll be the one winning old and getting married.”

“I hate to break it to you guys. JJ is obviously going to win.” His fiance told us.

“Sorry, we can’t congratulate you. Guess the weddings off.”

After JJ ruined dinner I was walking with Yuri back to the hotel. Otabek tried to offer us a ride but Yuri said he wanted to show me something. Which was odd. I could tell he had something on his mind as we walked through the streets. I wonder what’s going on in that head of his.

=====

“Here we are,” I told Karissa as I stopped at our destination. 

“Woah!” She said looking at the building in front of us “It’s so big!” In the dark, it was lit up in different colors. I pulled her towards the entrance. (You should really look up night pictures of this building, it’s really cool!)

“Arenas de Barcelona,” I said proudly as we walked inside. ‘I know how to research too Blue’ I thought. “Once a bullfighting area, now a giant shopping center.” She gaped at the size of it. Although all the shops were closed it was still open. “I figured we could go to the rooftop terrace to get a view of the city.”

“That sounds amazing.” She said, taking off towards the elevator. I let out a smile and followed her. I clutched the box in my pocket. ‘I can’t believe those idiots from stealing my idea!’ As we rode up in the elevator, Karissa got more and more excited. The doors open and she ran out to the railing. She let out a gasp as she overlooked the city. It was lit up around us, and a light glow reflected back at us. “It’s so pretty.”

“It is,” I said, watching her eyes light up and shine. Her hair moving with the wind. I could see her breath leave from the cold. I felt myself grit my teeth. ‘Come on Yuri. You faced worse things than this!’ “Karissa.”

“Yeah, what is it?” She asked, looking at me. I let out a gulp as I looked at her. God, she looks so beautiful right now. ‘Focus!’

“Earlier when we were shopping. I found something I wanted to give you.” I pulled out the box in my pocket. She looked at it in my hand. I opened it up and showed her.

“When I saw it I thought of you.” I felt a blush run on my face.

“It’s pretty.” She said looking at it. She held the charms in her hand, eyes shimmering. “Can I put it on?” I gave her a nod and pulled it out of the box. She turned her back to me and pushed her hair to the side. I laid the necklace on the front of her and clasped the back. She turned to look at me, the necklace sitting on her chest. She had a blush on her face. “I love it.”

“Originally it was going to be a good luck charm but Vikor and Piggy took that away with there rings,” I said with a grumble.

“Well, that isn’t fair.” She said. I gave her a confused look. “You need a good luck charm too and it has to come from me.” I lost myself in her determination to give me one back.

“I already have one from you.” 

“But I never-” I pulled out the hair clip and she stopped. I looked to the side embarrassed.

“It came out of your hair after the hot spring performance. I’ve been holding onto it ever since. It’s always given me some hope and luck when I have it on me.” She placed her hand over the clip. “It always reminded me of you, when I couldn’t have you by my side.” She looked up at me. I couldn’t read her expression. 

“Here.” She took the clip from my hand and pulled out the ribbon she had in her hair. 

“What are you doing?” She attached the clip to the ribbon with a clasp. Then reached up towards me pulling the ribbon around my neck and tying it on the back.

“There.” The flower was now resting on my chest like a necklace. “Now you have a proper good luck charm.” I noticed she didn’t move back after tying it. Her arms were almost rested around my neck. 

“It’s perfect.” I gave her a genuine smile and she smiled back. I put my hands on her hips, pulling her closer to me. Her hands now resting on my chest. I reached one of my hands up and brushed her bangs off her face. ‘You’re perfect.’ I wanted to say. I cupped her cheek and she nuzzled against my hand.

“Yuri…” She said. Her eyes were wide and bright. She leaned towards me, closing her eyes.

“Hey!” We both jumped apart at the shout. I looked over at what looked like a security guard standing by the door of the elevator. “The building is closed. No one is allowed to be up here!” He grabbed both of us by the collars and dragged us outside, throwing us onto the street.

“You dumbass!” I shouted, brushing myself off and helping Karissa.

=====

We were back at the hotel and I couldn’t stop thinking about what happened. What does it all mean?

“Want to head back to my room?” Yuri asked. I blushed thinking of the possibilities. 

“No!” I said suddenly. He jolted back at my reaction. I took a breath. “Not tonight. I need to have time in the morning to get ready.”

“Right. Sorry.” He rubbed the back of his neck. We made it to my room and I let out a sigh in relief. 

“Bye.” I quickly ran into my room and closed the door leaning with my back to it. I heard Yuri take off. I leaned back until I bumped my head against the door. What’s wrong with me? Why is my heart beating so fast? I thought back to Yuri on the other side of the door. I wonder if he’s upset. I quickly opened the door and ran out. I saw Yuri standing in the elevator, doors closing.

“Yuri! Wait!” I called out running towards the door of the elevator. I caught the door as it opened. I walked up to Yuri and kissed him on the cheek. “Thanks for tonight.” I backed out of the elevator. Yuri’s face was as red as a tomato. The doors closed and he was gone.

=====

I was laying in bed trying to sleep but every time I tried to close my eyes, all I can see is her. I let out a huff and sat up, fiddling with the flower clip. I climbed out of bed and made my way out of the hotel room.

“Can’t sleep?” I spun around and saw Otabek.

“No.”

“Me either.”

“I want a place to clear my head,” I muttered out. 

“Come on.” Otabek gestured me to follow him. I followed him through the hotel until we came to a giant ballroom. He walked across it and out towards the balcony outside. Even in the dark, the city was lit up. “Better?”

“Yeah.” I overlooked the city. “Now I know why Karissa likes it here so much.” I saw Otabek give me a look from the corner of my eye.

"I’ve been meaning to ask you.” Otabek started. “What are you and Karissa?”

“Why do you ask?” I was flustered.

“You two are always together, and I was just curious about what you two are.” 

“We’re-” I wanted to say friends but it almost didn’t seem right to say that. Especially after tonight. “I don’t know what we are, to be honest…I know that after spending all this time with her, I really like her. More than I’ve liked anything else before. It’s so different with her. I get butterflies in my stomach and half the time I don’t know what to say to her.” Otabek gave me a light smile. 

“So the soldier had his heart taken.”

“What does that mean?!” I shouted.

“You’re in love, Yuri.” I felt myself blush. In love with Karissa. Is this what I’m feeling?

“How do I know it’s love?”

“You said it yourself. It’s different with her. She gives you butterflies and you lose yourself around her. You can’t stop thinking about her. And being in love changes you too.” I gulped. Oh god! I am in love with her!

“How do I tell her?!” I asked him.

“Only you know how to do that.”

~Extra~

I let out a grunt as I stood in the crowd of people, most admiring Viktor. It made me sick how everyone fell to his feet. I quickly left to go find some food. On the dessert table, I saw a piece of cheesecake. I let out a shrug and went to grab it. I stopped when someone else had taken it off the table.

“Hey!” I snapped. “That was mine!” The girl looked at me shocked then looked pissed.

“Really? Still need to be a prick.” She huffed. She wore a two-piece dress, her stomach showing. Who wears that kind of dress? Her hair was tied up and her blue eyes and blue hair caught my attention.

“What did you say hag?” I huffed back. She shoved the cheesecake slice into my hands. 

“Just take it.” She said before storming off. 

“Well, now I don’t want it!” I shouted back, looking at the cake. Who the hell does she think she is?

=====

“Dumbass,” I muttered as I tried to find Yuuri through the crowd. I let out a sigh as I saw him standing by the champagne.  “Hey Yuuri,” Something was up because he gave me a groggy look. “You doing okay?” He let out a lapsed chuckle.

“Your so pretty Karissa.” He slurred. Is he drunk? He laid his head on my chest. “How did I end up with such a pretty friend?” I rolled my eyes and set him upright. 

“I think you’ve had enough. Let’s go home.” I tried pulling him but he wouldn’t budge. “Yuuri.” I let out a grunt and pulled harder.

“We can’t leave.” He said taking off his tie. “We have to at least dance first.” I felt a tug on my wrist as he pulled me towards the dance floor. “Besides I really want to see Viktor.”

“Here we go…” I muttered in shame.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The tension grows! How will Yuri express his feelings?
> 
> I hope you guys are still enjoying it! There is a lot more coming your way!


	23. Grand Prix Final Short Program!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Grand Prix is here! This chapter is a little more filler with some focus on Phichit's and Karissa's friendship.

I went for a run by the ocean to settle my running mind. Not only did I have to think about the final but I also had to think about using my program to show Karissa my feelings of her. For some reason, I can’t make sense of it. I saw Viktor looking at the view from the bridge, his hand with the ring, outstretched. I roughly planted a foot into the middle of his back with a grunt. I wasn’t satisfied so I added six more.

“Viktor Nikiforov is as good as dead.” He turned to look at me. “I don’t get what makes you so happy about babysitting that stupid pig.” He leaned down in my face.

“Did you want to compete against me?” He asked with a smirk.

“So arrogant. You may not realize it Viktor but not all skaters look up to you. The next generation will take over. Just give it up old man.” He grabbed my face in his hand, pulling my chin up to look at him. “The Pig will fail, and you’ll see that the ring you got from him is garbage. I am going to win this. I’ll show you just how incompetent he is.”

“Just like the good luck charm you gave Karissa. How much faith do you have in that?” I let out a growl. “A piece of jewelry doesn’t get you love, compassion does. Yuuri will win because he has more love than you know how to show.”

“Let me go!” I shoved him off me. “I am going to show all my love for her today! Just watch and see!” I walked away looking at the view over setting the water. It seemed familiar. If Viktor hadn’t left for Japan I never would have followed him to meet the Pig or Karissa.

_“Today we’ll see performances from the seven skaters who survived the brutal Grand Prix Series to vie for the coveted title. And here they are:_

_“In Seventh Place, and last to qualify, Yuri Katsuki seeking to redeem himself for his second Final. With Viktor Nikiforov as his coach, he will try to prove the power of love by bringing home the gold medal._

_Phichit Chulanot finished sixth in the Grand Prix Series after becoming the first Thai skater to win gold at the Cup of China. In his first Final, he’s hoping to rewrite history for Southeast Asian figure skating._

_Karissa Faye finished fifth. She is the only female competing this year. She is the first female to complete a quad in female skating history. She earned silver at the Rostelecom Cup and hopes to bring home gold from her Men’s Senior debut._

_Yuri Plisesky came in fourth in the series. Last year’s junior champion, this is his senior debut. He has performed brilliantly so far, placing second in both qualifying events. As the youngest skater at this Final, he seeks to defend Russia’s prestige by securing his first victory._

_In third is Christophe Giacometti of Switzerland. His mature skating and giant quadruple Lutz have enthralled skating fans worldwide. He’ll be aiming for his first GP Final gold._

_Coming in second is Otabek Altin, Kazakhstan’s hero. He won bronze at the World Championship last season and claimed his first GP victory in the NHK Trophy. His qualification for the finals this year is another upset._

_Finishing first in the series is Jean-Jacques Leroy, the man to beat and the only qualifier to win both his events. In his short program and his free skate, he jumped six quads. JJ sets a high bar for his fellow competitors._

_Now the moment they’ve all been waiting for: the final round is about to begin here in Barcelona!”_

=====  
I hummed the tune to History Makers that was playing on my phone while stretching out in the hallway. Yuuri told me that he didn’t need me there to see him off, that I need to focus on myself first. However, that didn’t stop me from stretching next to the TV so I could watch. I saw Yuri walk by and we locked eyes before he continued walking. He seems very quiet today. I heard the familiar guitar strums and looked up to see Yuuri start his performance. He was thinking, I could tell but he kept his cool.

“I need to beat JJ. Maybe a good knock on his ass will make him less cocky.” I told myself, feeling my heart race at the sound of the crowd cheer for Yuuri. I let out a smile and grabbed my necklace, turning away from the tv to stretch on the wall.

=====

I sat alone, holding onto the flower clip. Beka told me I need to show her how I feel, this is the only way I know how! I stood up and made my way out to the hallway to find her. She was out in the hallway, getting ready to go out for her program.

“Hey Blue.” I noticed she had her earbuds out of her ears. Which meant she was ready to go out there.

“Hey, Yuri. Sorry but I have to go. You know how Lilia has been getting onto me about being prepared.”

“Yeah.” I rubbed the back of my neck.

“I can’t wait to see your program.” She told me, pulling the curtain aside, separating us from the rink. “It’s going to amazing.” She slipped through the curtain and was gone.

“I can’t wait either.”

=====

I walked out into the outside of the rink and took a breath. I saw Yuuri at the Kiss and Cry with Viktor. I could tell something was on his mind but I brushed it off. Viktor is his coach, he’ll handle it. I need to focus on me. I saw Phichit take the ice. Celestino was talking to him. As soon as he saw me, his eyes lit up.

“Are you ready?” I asked, standing in front of him. He gave me a nod and swallowed. I could tell he was nervous. He reached over the wall and pulled me into a hug. I hugged him back. “This is your ice, show them.” He stiffened and pulled back looking at me. He leaned towards me again and kissed on my cheek suddenly making the crowd erupt into cheers. I felt my face flush at the attention we were getting.

“Are you ready?” I wanted to cry when he said that. He knows exactly how to get to me.

“Always,” I told him as he made his way onto the ice with the cheer of the crowd.

_“On the ice representing Thailand, Phichit Chulanont."_

~~~~~

“I can’t do it!” I shouted, my voice echoed off the rink, almost mocking me. I let out a growl in frustration and slammed my hands on the bleachers.

“Still haven’t got it?” I looked up and saw Phichit skating to the edge of the ice by the wall.

“I can’t land my axels no matter what I do,” I told him frustrated. “That half rotation is killing me.”

“I’m sure you’ll get it. You just have to keep trying. Ask Celestino when he gets back with Yuuri.”

“You don’t get it! I-” I stopped as tears started to fall from my face. Damn it! Why do I always have to cry? I reached with my sleeve to wipe my tears. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t be yelling at you.” I told him, ducking my head. This is embarrassing. I felt a hand on my shoulder and saw Phichit sitting next to me.

“It’s okay to get frustrated. Everyone has there struggles. Mine was doing a Lutz, it never seemed possible but after some practice and guidance I was able to do it.” There was a moment of silence between us. “Why don’t you take a break? Here.” He held out his hand and helped me back onto the ice.

“I thought we were supposed to be taking a break?” I asked him as he grabbed his phone.

“We are.” He played a song over a speaker I haven’t heard before. He bowed to me, holding his hand out to me. “Shall we skate?” I took it and we skated with each other to the song.

“I haven’t heard this song before.” I admitted to him. He gave me a dumbfounded look.

“You’ve never seen The King and The Skater?” I shook my head at him. “That movie changed my life.”

“How so?” I asked as he continued to move across the ice.

“It’s a movie about a figure skater named Phichai who is trying to get his start. He’s played by a Thai actor. While he does, he falls in love with Christy, who works at the ice rink he’s training at. It’s about the struggles of love with the art of figure skating. It was the first time I have ever seen a Thai skater. I knew it’s what I wanted.”

“Sounds interesting,” I said, the song ended and we stopped moving across the ice.

“Why don’t we watch it together some time?” He asked. I was surprised he wanted to, considering we haven’t spent much time together outside of the rink. “I can get to know you better.” For the longest time after skating under Celestino, I have been trying to avoid the boys. I guess I’m scared they’ll find out about everything and decide I’m not good enough. However, when I looked at him, he seemed so genuine.

“I can’t wait.” I told him. And this time I meant it.

~~~~~

I heard the song start and Phichit started to skate. I couldn’t help but smile. The crowd started clapping along to the song. He looked amazing out there.

_“Here comes his first jump.”_ He went into his jump and landed it beautifully. “A triple axel.” He added some step work in before going into a Triple Lutz, Triple Toe Loop combo. Guess you can still land those Lutz’s huh? He immediately went into his Quad Toe Loop. He was really giving it his all out there.

“Massimo!” Celestino cheered out.

~~~~~

“Karissa. What would you think if I did a program to Shall We Skate?” He asked me. We were in his room in Detroit and surrounded by hamsters.

“I thought you wanted to save that for when we finally pair skated together?” I asked him, petting the hamster named pumpkin. “I was going to be Christy, who then falls in love with Phicai after he takes her on the ice with him.”

“Well the way we’re going, we’ll probably stick to singles.” He told me.

“True.”

“Don’t feel down. When I do skate to it in a competition, you’ll be there by my side and you’ll be my Christy.”

~~~~~

His performance ended and the crowd roared. I slipped my jacket off, ready to go on the ice next.

_“That was a flawless performance from Phichit Chulanont!”_

“Bravo!” Celestino and I cheered. He quickly skated over to me, waiting for him by the opening on the wall. I held out my hand and curtsied to him, holding the fabric of my dress. He bowed, taking my hand, kissing the back of it. Just like in the movie when Christy and Phicai finish skating together.

_“Karissa Faye joined in, helping to create the classic scene from the movie.” I looked up to see tears falling from his face. “He seems to be feeling a release from the intense pressure. Really that was amazing."_ I quickly pulled him into a hug as he cried into my shoulder.

“That was amazing,” I told him. Celestino pulled him away to the Kiss and Cry. I took a breath to myself. My turn to go onto the ice next. I straightened myself out and stood by the wall in the rink.

“Phichit Chulanont’s score is 95.73. That’s a new personal best.”

_“Representing the USA, Karissa Faye.”_ The crowd let out a cheer as I positioned myself in the center of the ice. This is it, the final. I need to prove myself. The music started and I opened my program with step work. Right now, like the women, I am daydreaming about love, dancing beautifully across the ice. I couldn’t help but know the feeling, living freely. Without burden. Only surrounded by people who love me.

I went into my Triple Axel, landing it. _“A Triple Axel!”_ I took the plunge. While I was in Russia I made friends and found people who care about me. Just like Yuuri, Viktor, and Phichit. They have all cared for me. The music shifted causing everything to slow down. Here comes the sorrow. I don’t know if I can show sorrow, I am so happy right now. I shook it off and went into my performance to give it my all.

_“She has a three jump combo coming up."_ I went into my Double Lutz, Single Loop, and Triple Salchow. I have taken hits recently but with the help of everyone, I have gotten back off the ground. I have grown so much. I have learned to embrace the sorrow of my life and make what I can with it.

I went into my spin, losing my sense of place from the spinning. This is who I am now, not someone lost in fear of what could happen but embracing life as it is. I came out of my spin ready for my quad.

_“Her final jump is a Quadruple Toe Loop.”_ I took a deep breath and rotated four times before landing. Now the ending, before I was about to give in completely. I picked up one foot off the ice and into my spin. I can’t give in! The song ended and I ended in my final position.

_“What a masterful performance.”_ Can I even call it that when I can’t seem to feel the way I want to skate? I got off the ice and went to the Kiss and Cry holding a bouquet of roses. _“Karissa Faye scored a 105.64, putting her currently in the first place.”_

=====

Lilia fluffed my hair while I stood out on the ice by the wall. Karissa rushed over from the Kiss and Cry in front of me. No more being withheld. I cupped her cheek, placing my forehead to hers. Her face turned bright red. The crowd cheered and I tuned them out.

“I want you to watch me. I want you to see who I’m skating for.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've gotten so excited that the story is close to ending. While it's sad to see it end, I know it will make you guys happy to know how it ends! A little bit of a warning to the people who actually read this, be prepared. In these next chapters, I'm a little mean to the characters. Mwahaha! X)


	24. On Love: Agape

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The moment is here and Yuri is ready to tell Karissa how he feels. I wonder how it will go...

_“Representing the next generation of Russian skaters, Yuri Plisetsky.”_ I tuned out the sound of everything around me. I caught eyes with Karissa before getting into my stance. The music began to play and started my program. I need to focus on her, that is my Agape now. I went into my triple axel landing it with a raised arm.

‘Before you came into my life I had the attitude of a selfish punk, I didn’t care about anyone or at least that’s what I tried to let on. My attitude even affected my skating. However, the one thing that always stuck with me was my appreciation for how you skated. You made it seem so carefree, you didn’t care about the medals. It looked like it came easy for you. As I’ve gotten to know you, the reason it looks so carefree was because you were fighting so hard to hide how you were struggling. ‘

I went into my Quadruple Salchow and Triple Toe Loop Combo.

‘You’re beautiful. When you're off the ice I love the way you brush your hair away from your face when your concentrating or nervous. Your constant clumsiness. How your eyes change from blue to green to hazel depending on the weather. When you light up after a cup of coffee. On the ice, you put everything into your programs, I can see the emotions you feel every time you skate. When you close your eyes when you are lost in the music. How elegant you look, almost like you own the ice.’

I landed my Quadruple Toe Loop.

‘Every moment we spent together, even off the ice, was some of the best moments. Training alongside you in Russia, living together at Lilia’s, when we went sightseeing through St. Petersburg and last night.’

I went into the combination spin.

‘Can’t you see it, Karissa. This performance is all for you. Do you see how I feel about you? I am awful with my emotions, but when I get on the ice I can channel how I feel. I don’t know how else to tell you.’

I let out a gasp as I finished my program. I heard the audience roar, it was almost deafening. I panted as the crowd continued to cheer. Everything around me was fuzzy. All I could think about was her.

=====

I stood to the side and waited for Yuri to get his score at the Kiss and Cry.

_“Yuri Plisetsky’s score is 118.56! Amazing! He surpassed the world record set by Victor Nikiforov!”_ Yuri jumped up in joy.

“Oh yeah! I did it!” Yuri seemed so genuinely happy. Yakov and Lilia seemed so proud and happy. It’s so good to see that Kitty finally beat Viktor. I watched as Chris got ready to go out onto the ice. I felt a tug on my hand as Yuri started to pull me through the back hallway of the rink.

“Yuri, what are you doing?” He looked nervous as he turned to look at me.

“What did you think of my program?”

“It was beautiful as always. I could feel the Agape you have for your grandpa.” I explained. His face dropped suddenly. A look of disappointment fell on his face. He then started to look upset and pissed. “What’s wrong?”

“You didn’t see it?”

“See what?” I asked. I really didn’t know what he meant. He shook his head at me, pulling away.

“Maybe if you weren’t so focused on that Hamster Boy, you would have seen it.”

“Yuri what are you talking about, What would I have seen?” I was thrown off by his sudden change in attitude.

“It was so obvious what I was skating for.” He let out a growl in frustration. “I wasted all this time. My program was for you!” I was in shock, he skated to Agape for me. He ducked his head shaking. “But now I see I’m obviously not good enough. Even after all this time we’ve been together.”

“Yuri-”

“If I lose this final, know it’s because of you.” He turned and walked away to go up to the sitting area. I was completely lost. Does he feel Agape towards me? I flinched to myself as I remembered what he told me. Obviously he doesn’t anymore. I’m just an obstacle to get in the way. If I’m around there is no way he is going to succeed.

=====

I made my way into the stands to find a seat. Sex Appeal was skating his routine. I flopped down into my seat with a huff. I took the flower clip and threw it onto the ground. I shoved my foot in between Piggy and Viktor before pulling it back and crossing my leg over the other.

“You seem like an angry kitty, did Karissa not understand your Agape?” Viktor asked in a whisper and a smirk on his face. Just hearing him say that set me off the edge in anger. I saw Otabek go onto the ice, instead of replying I ignored him.

“Davai!” I shouted to Beka.

=====

I had changed out of my costume and quickly started to gather my things, it wasn’t much but I needed to leave.

“Hey ‘Rissa.” I flinched then looked over and saw Phichit.

“Hey.” I barely said. Why can’t I make my voice sound stronger? I searched my bag for my wallet.

“I was wondering if you wanted to go out with me tonight and catch up over some food.” I didn’t say anything, getting frustrated when I couldn’t find my wallet. “Are you okay?”

“I’m fine!” I snapped. I quickly zipped up the bag and put it on my shoulder, walking towards the exit. Screw a cab, I’ll just walk.

“You don’t seem fine, did something happen?” I gritted my teeth and I felt a knot in my chest.

“I said I’m fine.”

“Karissa.” Phichit caught up with me grabbing my hand. Quickly turned around pulling my hand away from him. He looked at me in shock.

“I don’t want to talk, okay!” I felt myself starting to tear up. “If I talk about it then I’m going to be upset and cry. I just want to be alone right now.” I kept walking until I was out of the doors. I went to fix my scarf and heard a snap. I watched as the necklace Yuri gave me fall to the ground, broken. “No, no, no.” I muttered as I tried to find all of the charms. Tears fell down my face. I felt a hand on my shoulder, making me want to cry more. “Phichit, please.”

“We don’t have to talk, but right now you can’t be alone.” He helped me up. “Let’s go back to the hotel.”

=====

The competition had just ended. I was placed in first so far with Otabek and Karissa in second and third. I was walking with Otabek back to the hotel.

“Your performance was amazing.” I told him.

“Thanks.” He replied. “So do you want to grab some dinner to celebrate?” He asked me.

“Celebrate what?”

“I guess making it and placing in the top three.”

“That doesn’t sound too bad.” I gave him a shrug, pulling out my phone.

“We just need to get a hold of Karissa then we would have our three.” I clenched my jaw.

“Forget it,” I said bluntly, walking off.

“What do you mean?” He asked. I didn’t say anything and kept walking. “What happened between you? I thought you used your program to show her how you feel.”

“I did!” I yelled, turning on him. “And she doesn’t feel that way about me! She would rather be with Hamster Boy!” He looked at me confused for a moment then shook his head at me. “What?! Do you have something to say now?”

“No. I’m just surprised.”

“About what?!” I snapped.

“I never pictured you as a jealous type.”

“Jealous? How am I jealous?!” I couldn’t believe he thought I was jealous. “It’s more than that!”

“It’s more than what?” He questioned me. I went to open my mouth but I couldn’t figure out what it was. I didn’t have a reason.

“I got pissed. That’s all.” I grumbled.

“You got upset because you saw how close she was with Phichit, then you lashed out at her because you were jealous.” He crossed his arms. “There was nothing else.”

“Who’s side are you on?!” I couldn’t believe this.

“I’m not choosing a side, I’m just trying to get you to realize that you're wrong. You shouldn’t push people away because you're afraid to lose them.”

=====

“Thank you Phichit,” I told him. I was curled up in the armchair he had in his room with a blanket. He took a seat on the footrest. I cuddled into one of the stuffed animals that were thrown onto the ice after my performance.

“Can I ask what happened?” He asked. I buried my face into the stuffed polar bear and took a breath.

“You know how Yuri…” I stopped and clarified. “Russian Yuri, his program was On Love: Agape.” He nodded his head and I kept going. “He was skating that program for me.”

“That’s great!” He told me, excited. I looked at him in surprise.

“What do you mean?” I asked him, curiously.

“I mean when he started popping up on your Instagram in pictures I knew you guys were spending time together. You always showed up for events together, you even trained with him in Russia. Every time we talked you would mention him. I knew you liked him.” I ducked my head. “That mean he likes you too.”

“I don’t think he does anymore,” I mumbled.

“Why wouldn’t he?” He asked in confusion. I felt tears prickle my eyes.

“Because I didn’t realize that performance was for me. I thought it was for his grandpa, his original inspiration. I guess I was so focused on the competition, I didn’t see it. Or maybe I just didn’t expect him to feel that way about me.” I took a breath. “Then when he realized I didn’t understand his Agape, he told me it would be my fault if he failed tomorrow.”

“Are you serious?” He sounded angry.

“He also took when you kissed my cheek as if we were together or that I like you.” I placed my hand to my forehead. “I don’t know. Now he’s pissed at me. He’s been mad at me before but this is different. He thinks I rejected him.” I saw Phichit was upset and angry, which rarely happened. He was always the calm one in senarios while Yuuri and I were the emotional ones.

“That is ridiculous! Yelling at you because he’s jealous. He has some nerve!” He growled out.

“You don’t need to get upset.” I tried to calm him but nothing was working.

“Of course I’m going to be upset, he brought my best friend to tears because he was jealous.” He shook off his anger and pulled me into a hug. “You are like a little sister to me Karissa, I hate when anything happens to you. You don’t deserve any of that.” I pulled back and wiped a tear that fell down my face.

“Oh god,” I said placing my hands on my head. “I’m going to have to go back to Russia with him.” Panic began to take over my body.

“Don’t worry about that right now. You have other things to focus on now.” He’s right. I still have the Free Skate tomorrow. “I have an idea. I’ll get some food and we can watch The King and The Skater together.”

“But we don’t have the movie,” I told him. He got up and put on his jacket.

“You find the movie somewhere online, I’ll be back.” He grabbed his stuff and made his way towards the door.

“That’s illegal you know,” I called out. He gave me a wink and walked out the door. I let out a laugh to myself and started looking online.

=====

I was ready to go back to my room and try to sleep to get her off my mind. I saw someone holding a carryout bag and growled when I saw it was Hamster Boy. He locked eyes with me and stopped. He put the bag down and walked over to me, anger written across him.

“You have a lot of nerve.” He said, grabbing onto the front of my jacket and picking me up off the ground.

“What the hell?!” I shouted, trying to get away but his grip held strong.

“Just because she didn’t understand your program, does it give you a right to be a jerk to her.” He let go of me with a shove. “You better figure it out quick, Karissa really likes you and you're about to lose her.”

“As if.” I stuffed my hands in my pockets, looking cocky, “She too occupied with you to even see me.” I held my head up but I really felt awful. It feels like she didn’t see me again, just like with Piggy.

“I don’t know what she sees in you.”

“Excuse me?!”

“She can’t stop thinking about you. You made her feel awful about herself.” He forced something into my hands. “I hope you’re happy.” He grabbed the bags and walked off. I opened my hand and saw the necklace I had given her, broken and falling apart.

=====

I had set up my laptop with a movie and was scrolling through Instagram. I heard the door open and saw Phichit carrying in a take out bag. I riffled through the bags and pulled out a container.

“How did you get Thai food?” I asked him, opening the container.

“I have my secrets.” I rolled my eyes at him and climbed into bed with the to-go container. He picked out his container.

“This is all I could find,” I told him as I pulled it up. It had Japanese Subtitles but it still was in English and worked.

“This is perfect.” He told me as he pressed play.

The movie had ended and Phichit was fast asleep. Normally I was the one who would fall asleep. I wish I could, I just feel so restless. I climbed out of bed and quietly gathered my things. He needs rest for tomorrow. I left a note and closed the door and made my way towards my hotel room. I had a sinking feeling sitting in my chest. Yuri’s words were ringing through my ear. I pulled out my phone and went through my contacts before finding the right one. I placed the phone to my ear waiting for an answer.

“Hello.”

“Hey, Viktor. If you’re not too busy, can we talk?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry but it had to be done! It even hurt me to do this. However, don't lose hope! It gets worse before it gets better!


	25. Grand Prix Final Free Skate

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's the day of the Free Skate and tensions are high.

“You caught me right before I was about to get into the shower.” He told me as he sat down across from me. “What was it you wanted to talk about?” I fiddled with my hands.

“Do you know of any other good Russian coaches?” He gave me a curious look.

“I thought you were going to Russia to train under Lilia?” He asked. “Even though I don’t know her personally, if she was able to round up Yurio she must be good.” Dammit Viktor. You can see right through me. 

“I was, but I want to keep my options open for any possibility.” And away from Yuri. Viktor gave me a look as he went into thought. I love Russia, everything is beautiful there.

“If you're worried about availability I’m sure she-”

“Enough about her!” I shouted. I took a breath and calmed down. I felt and hand on my shoulder. I looked up a Viktor.

“Karissa, what happened? Something changed.” I explained to him what had happened and he sat there listening. “So you’re worried about having to go back with Yurio so you’re trying to find a coach.” He evaluated.

“Pretty much. I just feel lost.” I admitted. “I love Russia, everything about it was amazing. But being there with him, would ruin it now.”

“Are you really going to let one boy ruin your chance at bettering yourself?” I shook my head. 

“Your wrong Viktor. I ruined his chance.” I let out a sigh, then a lightbulb went off.

“Did you think of something?”

“Celestino.” I said, grabbing my phone and sending him a text. He doesn’t answer phone calls late at night. This would be the fastest way. “I can go back to Detroit to train under him again. What do you think?” I could tell Viktor looked conflicted. 

“You do what you think is best.”  
  


_ “In first is Russia’s Yuri Plisetsky, with the highest ever Short Program score. Otabek Altin, hero of Kazakhstan, is ranked second in his first Grand Prix Final. USA’s Ice Princess, Karissa Faye is ranked third. Christophe Giacometti of Switzerland is in fourth after a distinct performance. Yuuri Katsuki hopes to turn fifth place into a spot on the podium. Phichit Chulanont, the first Thai skater to qualify for the final, is in sixth. And shockingly, Jean-Jacques Leroy of Canada enters the Free Skate in seventh. Will he make a comback? _

_ The last chapter of the Grand Prix Final is about to begin!” _

I finished my makeup and made sure my hair was still braided from last night. I came in with Yuuri and Viktor, they seemed tense and sad. I wonder what’s going on. I zipped up my jacket and covered my head, walking out of the room I was getting ready in. My phone vibrated, it was a text from Celestino asking about when I wanted to leave for Detroit. I had all of my things packed, and as soon as the final is over, I’m going back to Detroit, first thing. I put the envelope I need to give to Lilia in my pocket and made my way to the outside of the rink. Currently, JJ was finishing his program. He flopped during the Short Program but he’s looking a lot better today.

_ “For his final jump, he plans a Quadruple Toe Loop.”  _ JJ went into his Quad, making three rotatons but stepping out of the jump. It still was a great attempt. He ended up scoring 213.91, making his total 300.62

=====

“I don’t understand what you are in such a rush about.” Yakov scolded me as I tried to make Lilia go faster on fixing my hair.

“I need to be there to watch Karissa skate, that way I can tell her I’m sorry. If she is going to be moving to Russia to train, I don’t want it to be left like this.”

“Do you think that’s really going to work?” Mila asked me.

“I don’t know.” I admitted. “But I have to try. I let my emotions get the best of me and I screwed up. I want to make it right.”

=====

“Ready ‘Rissa.” I heard, Phichit was on the ice and standing in front of me. “This is it. I am going to finish strong.” I gave him a smile. He really has become a great skater.

“I know you will. And I can’t wait to see it.” He skated onto the ice and readied himself, taking a breath. The music started and he began to skate to his program. 

_ “Phichit Chulanont of Thailand, age 20, bewitched the audience here in Spain. His supporters back home have high expectations, as well.”  _ You look great out there Phichit. I could see the smile on his face. He went into a Triple Axel, stumbling, touching down on the ground. I winced but saw he got right back up. 

“Keep going Phichit. Don’t let one stumble make or break you.” I said aloud. He went into his Quadruple Toe Loop, landing it beautifully. He’s doing great.

_ “Triple Flip, Single Loop, Double Flip.”  _ He landed each one of them. Phichit may not score high points but its a program he can be proud of. He finished the program and the crowd cheered.

“Way to go Phichit!” I shouted, cupping my hands around my mouth. He gave me a wave as he passed by me to go to the Kiss and Cry. Up next was Yuuri, he was on the ice talking to Viktor. I don’t know why but something seemed off between them. I watched as Yuuri grabbed Viktor into a hug, crying. I got flashbacks of last year's competition and bit my lip. This can’t happen again, last time he wanted to go into retirement after he looked this way before a program. I clenched my fists into the wall.

_ “Katsuki says he wants to use this program to express the different forms of love he feels. He is skating to Yuuri On Ice.”  _ I watched his step work, brilliant as always, but here comes the jumps.  _ “Alright, he’s planned two consecutive quads. The first is part of a combination.”  _ I watched as he went into his combo holding my breath.  _ “Quadruple Toe Loop, Double Toe Loop.”  _ Each jump was perfect, I let go of the breath I held. Yuuri continued to move across the ice beautifully.

“You have grown so much Yuuri.” I said to myself smiling. He went into his Quadruple Salchow, a jump he struggled with in March. Then next was a Triple Flip. He’s changing his program to up the points. He has to if he wants to win gold. From a spread eagle into an Ina Bauer. He went around the ice and into a Triple Axel.

_ “He has a Triple Flip planned next.”  _ Yuuri got into the position, but it wasn’t for a Flip. He rotated four times and landed a Quadruple Toe Loop.  _ “A Quadruple Toe Loop?”  _ Keep them on their feet Yuuri. I could feel his confidence coming off him.  _ “Triple Axel, Single Loop, Triple Salchow.” _ Perfect.  _ “Triple Lutz, Triple Toe Loop.”  _ He worked with the last of his step work and his last jump was a Quadruple Flip. I have never seen him land one before. I watched in awe as he landed it with ease. I let out a smile and ducked into the hallway. I need to show him I don’t mess around either.. I pulled my hair out of its braid, pulling the now curly hair back with bobby pins so it was out of my face. I looked down to see my hands were trembling. I clenched them, trying to stop the shaking. Am I that full of adrenaline? Or is it something else. I walked out of my room and saw Phichit waiting for me.

“Are you ready to get out there ‘Rissa?” He teased. I rolled my eyes as we walked out of the tunnel. Walking beside him felt like the old days.

“If your ready to lose Hamster Boy.” We reached the rink where Christophe was finishing his program, I carefully took my glasses and jacket, handing them both to Phichit. He gave me a smile.

“You have changed so much from the girl who couldn’t land a triple axel.” I let out a laugh.

“Karissa we need to talk.” Viktor walked up to me, placing a hand on my shoulder before pulling me into a comforting hug.

“I know, I know. I’m going to miss you too. But Detroit isn’t too far.” I told him honestly while patting his back. His grip on me tightened. 

“I plan on making my return to the Russian Nationals.” He told me. I pulled back with excitement. Phichit looked at us in confusion.

“That’s great!” I can’t believe it, both him and Yuuri are doing so many amazing things. Having Viktor back on the ice will be great. The sad look on his face made me stop. “What’s with the long face?”

“The only reason I’m returning is because Yuuri doesn’t need a coach anymore.” I felt it click together and my heart stopped.

“No. No, no, no.” I said shaking my head, taking a step back from Viktor. I held my head in my hands, remembering Yuuri’s program. How could he retire after that?! Viktor pulled me back into a hug as i continued to spiral. Everything hat has happened over these past days fell on my like a pound of bricks. My best friend is going to retire, his coach is giving up on him, boy I like hates me, I gave up on a chance to train in Russia.

“You’re my only chance Karissa. Yuuri needs to be determined to want to get back on the ice. Give him a reason for him to be on the ice.” I clenched my fists in his jacket, hiding my face.

“I can’t Viktor.” I felt myself start to shake. “I’m too weak right now. I-”

“Yes, you can!” He grabbed me by my shoulders and pulled me away from him. I flinched at his voice before looking at his determined face. “I thought you were confident. That’s why they call you the Ice Princess. You own the ice. Now you’re going to let one boy walk all over you?”

=====

Sex Appeal had just gotten his score and she was up next. This is my chance. I took a breath and started to make my way over to her. She locked eyes with me and her body tensed up. Viktor told her something and she went onto the ice. 

_ “On the ice representing the USA, Karissa Faye.”  _ I was about to come up to her but she skated onto the ice before I could. I let out a growl in frustration and stood next to Viktor. I looked over and saw Hamster Boy glaring at me. I glared back then looked at Viktor.

“What did you say to her?!” I demanded. He simply gave me a smirk.

“Just watch.” I looked out at Karissa on the ice. She was in her starting position. We locked eyes and shivers went down my spine. So intense and powerful. Like a soldier.

=====

The song came on and I began to move with power.

_ “She is skating to Never Give Up, matching her theme of Triumph.”  _ I closed my eyes and felt the song move me. I chose it because of how it made me feel strong, so let’s show it.  _ “Her first jump is a Quad Toe Loop.” _ I took a breath and landed it with ease.  _ “Beautiful height!” _ I came out of my Quad and was ready for my first combination.  _ “Triple Lutz into a Triple Axel.”  _ I landing each of them on the beat of the song.

I came out of the combination and into my sit spin. ‘And I won’t let you get me down…’ I own this ice, that’s why they call me the Ice Princess. I was the first female to complete a quadruple jump. Now I’m competing in the mens finals, giving them all a run for there money. I came out of the spin and into my step sequence. I fell powerful like I can take on the world right now.

Yuuri is an idiot for wanting to retire. He wants to throw everything away and I won’t have it. With anger I went into my Quadruple Salchow, striking the ice hard. The announcers said something but I tuned them out. I’ve pulled Yuuri out of this rut before. I automatically went into my Triple Flip, Double Toe Loop combination. He has grown so much since he began training with Viktor, he’s even fallen in love. He’s about to give all that away.

My hardest combination is coming up but it didn’t seem to faze me. I first made my triple axel, with a single loop and finished it off with a triple flip. I felt myself growl as I skated out of my combination. That dumbass! Why can’t he see how lucky he is to have someone who loves him?! 

=====

I watched all of her anger come out on the ice, still elegant but angry. All I could see was her swirling in red. She was beautiful. She is the reason I am so motivated to fight. Why I wanted to improve myself. 

“Don’t you see Yuri.” Viktor said, bringing me back to real life. “You broke her.” I flinched at the sound of her skate, as it struck the ice when landing her Triple Salchow. “So like everything else, she took it and grew stronger.” 

=====

I came out of my Triple Salchow and looked over at the side of the rink, seeing Viktor, Phichit, and Yuri. I grit my teeth. He has some audacity watching me. I positioned myself and went into my Triple Lutz, landing it easily. I went into my spin, feeling no fatigue. I’ve never felt this good about a program before. I came out of the spin and worked on step work. I looked back to the edge and saw Yuri leave the rink, out of sight. My stomach sank.

I put my focus back on my step work but my mind was running a million miles at a minute. Why do I care that he left? He was a complete ass to me! But why does it make my chest hurt? Why do I want to cry? Damn it! Get it together Karissa!

“I don’t need him!” I said to myself as I went into my Triple Toe Loop, Double Toe Loop combination. Frustration overtook my body and I could feel my adrenaline start to wear off. No, just hold on a little longer. I need to get my last Quad in. 

‘I won’t let you get me down-’ I took a breath and went into my Quadruple Flip, my last jump. As I hit the jump, I knew I wasn’t going to make it. I landed shakey but still managed to make all four rotations without my hands touching the ice. All that’s left it the step work.

Just thirty more seconds, that’s all I need to get through. I tried to lose myself int he music but it wasn’t working. I felt relief come over me as I knew it was coming to an end. I held my breath and ended my program with my final pose. My arm outstretched upward into the lights of the rink. The crowd cheered and I let out my held breath, causing tears to stream down my face. I quickly took a bow before skating off the rink, wiping my tears.

“That was amazing! I’ve never seen you skate like that.” Phichit told me as I stepped out of the rink. I gave him a small smile, taking my glasses and jacket before going over to the Kiss and Cry. I took a breath and waited for the results. 

_ “Amazing! Her free skate score is 210.09 making her score 315.73! She takes second place under Yuuri Katsuki.”  _ I was in awe. Yuuri was never one to beat out my scores. I guess he has grown. I gave the crowd a quick wave before leaving the Kiss and Cry. I quickly made my way back over to the tunnel, stopping once I was behind the curtain.

“You did amazing out there. I’m sure it will reach him.” Viktor reassured me with a smile. I clenched fists into my jacket.

“He left.” I felt myself finally break as tears fell down my face. I took a deep breath as sobs rocked my body. “He’s gone.” I grabbed onto Viktor and pulled him into a hug.

“Karissa,” Viktor asked in confusion. I just held onto him. I need something to hold onto so I didn’t fall apart completely.

“I know I don’t need Yuri.” I sobbed. “But that doesn’t mean I don’t want him.” Viktor held me as I continued to cry. He felt tense. “I’ve never felt like this about anyone before, Viktor. What do I do?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> With the Grand Prix coming to a close, what do you think will happen with Yuri and Karissa? 
> 
> Thank you to everyone who has been liking and commenting on the work! It really helps motivate me and let me know that you like my story! I can't wait for you to see the conclusion!


	26. The Heart of A Soldier

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ~Can you hear my heartbeat?  
I've got a feeling  
It's never too late  
I close my eyes and see myself  
How my dreams will come true~

I heard the crowd roar as Otabek took to the ice before putting on my headphones. I was walking out to the ice with Lilia and Yakov following behind me. I looked for Karissa out of habit. She wasn’t going to be there to send me off. I heard Viktor’s voice behind us but I kept walking.

“It’s about Karissa.” I stopped and took out my earbuds. Viktor handed Lilia an envelope. “She decided that she was going back to being trained under Celestino.” 

“What?!” I shouted.

“And how do you know that?” Yakov asked him annoyed. Lilia read over the note that was inside in shock, something I’ve never seen before. I watched as she pulled out a check.

“She also sent money to reimburse you for the time you spent training her.” I rushed over and grabbed his shoulder.

“Wait, does this mean Karissa is going back to the US?” There was no way, this can’t be real can it?

“Well, that is up to her. She was worried about how going back to Russia with you would affect both of your careers moving forward. Her bags are here, after the final she’s leaving to go back to Detroit.” This can’t be happening. I can’t lose her! I felt Viktor pulled me into a hug. Still, in shock from the news, I stood there. “Don’t let your frustration get the best of you.” He pulled away and placed something small in my hand. “Your Agape didn’t get through but your passion will. Now is the time you show her how you really feel before it’s too late.” He walked away and I looked at the purple flower clip in my hand.

=====

Otabek looked amazing on the ice, powerful. You can tell he is a fighter. I went to grab my necklace but it was gone. I dropped my head. Don’t look back, this is for the best. I glanced over and saw him making his way out from the curtains. He looked so confident and I was a mess. I felt tears in my eyes and I quickly wiped them away. Otabek had ended his program which means Yuri is up next. Panic took over me.

I need to go. I can’t watch him skate, it will just make it harder. I felt someone by my side and looked over to see Otabek back from the Kiss and Cry. He handed me the bear someone tossed onto the ice after his program, pulling me to his side.

“Stay. He wants to show you something.” He told me. He looked out to the ice. “Yuri. Davai!” Yuri looked over towards us and gave a thumbs up to Otabek. As he skated by I caught a flash of purple in his hair. The flower.

=====

I saw Karissa standing timidly by Otabek. She looked so much smaller than she normally does. 

‘Yakov, Lilia, Grandpa, Yuuri Katsuki and Karissa, watch this.’ I got into my opening stance and I could feel my emotions ready to come out. This is it.

=====

Yuri took the ice, for some reason he seemed so much bigger out there. He really doesn’t need me. The music came in strong as he began his fast pace footwork. He always made it seem effortless but I knew this program was hard.

_ “First up is a quad.” _ He rotated four times and landed a Salchow. _ “He nailed it.” _He added some step work before going into a triple axel. This part was always my favorite, the way he danced on the ice like a ballerina. Beautiful as always. I’m going to miss it.

=====

‘Karissa Faye. You were amazing from the first time I watched you. I tried to copy your programs. However, I grew up and stopped following you. You really pissed me off when we bumped into each other at last year's finals. After learning you were friends with the Pig I had no idea what you were doing. Hanging out with a loser like him.'

I landed my Triple Flip with force striking the ice.

‘I really thought we had something. After almost a year together. However, you were so focused on someone else you couldn’t see my love through my Agape. Any idiot could see all the love I was throwing out there! But you couldn’t.’

I went into my Triple Lutz.

‘What, now you want to go back to the US once you got your training and competed in a men’s competition. You want to give up on us completely now. That’s bull! I won’t let you move back!’ I could feel the exhaustion on my body but I can’t give in. ‘With my performance, I’m going to win! I need to show you how I feel.’

I went from my Quadruple Toe Loop and hit the ice hard. It hurt but I got back up. Straight into my next position.

‘I just got so frustrated with you, everything came out at once and I said something I really regret. I was just so mad. No, I wasn’t mad. I was scared to lose you. You were with him and couldn’t see my feelings, I thought you were going push me aside. But I was the one who pushed you aside. When Viktor said you were going to leave, I was terrified.’

I added my Quadruple Slachow, Triple Toe Loop combo.

‘Karissa, can you see it now. Please see me. Can’t you see how I feel? Please don’t leave, stay in Russia.’

Quadruple Toe Loop, Double Toe Loop.

‘We can train and skate together.’

Triple Axel, Single Loop, Double Salchow.

‘Just please don’t leave. Because I-’

I came out of my spin and into my final position.

  
  


‘I love you, Karissa.’

  
  


I stood panting as the crowd cheered. I felt tears start to fall down my face. I don’t want to lose you. I collapsed onto the ice, covering my face. After a moment I composed myself and I quickly made my way off of the ice. Karissa stood by the opening of the ice.

=====

I looked at Yuri in front of me, he looked terrified as he stopped in front of me. I felt tears welt up in my eyes again. I quickly grabbed the front of his costume and pulled his lips to mine. Everything slowed down and I let out a sigh of relief before pulling back. He looked at me dumbstruck, I reached up and wiped my tears.

“Yuri...your performance, it was so beautiful...I couldn’t take my eyes off you.” 

  
  


The results were in. Yuri was first and scored a 319.53 making him come in 0.12 ahead of Yuuri’s score of 319.41 who was second. I kept the boys in check by being third at 315.73. As we each received our metals I couldn’t help but look over to the boys, no men who have grown so much this past year. So much has changed and I can’t wait to see what happens next.

=====

After my interview with reporters, I finally got to see her. She had her USA jacket on and was talking to Celestino. I felt the pit in my stomach grow.

“So this is the little punk I’ve heard about,” Celestino said, making me even more nervous. But I felt better when Karissa let out a small laugh.

“Yeah. That’s him.” She told him with a shrug. He eyed me over before looking at Karissa. 

“You wanted to talk to me about your plans to come back to Detroit?” Does she still want to leave?

“I know I asked you to be my coach again after I left with Yuuri. You gave me so much confidence and made me into the skater I am today. I wanted to go back with you but…” She trailed off and looked at me with a smile before looking back at him. “I think I’m better off where I am now.” She slightly ducked her head. “Sorry if your disappointed...again.”

“Why are you apologizing?” She gave him a confused look. Before nodding over at me. “I figured after a performance like that you would want to stay in Russia.” She quickly ran over and gave him a hug.

“Thank you so much. For everything.” She told him before stepping back. I watched him walk away and felt some relief wash over me. “Hey, Kitty.” I heard a teasing voice. Karissa bopped my nose softly.

“Hey Blue.” I quickly pulled her into a hug. I rested my chin on her head. “I’ve missed you so much.” I took a breath and pulled away. It’s now or never. I rubbed the back of my neck nervously. “I’m sorry about the things I said to you. None of it was true, I was just…”

“I know.” I gave her a surprised look and she gave me a smile. “Your program, I could see all of it. I forgive you.” I felt so much relief. I released the breath I was holding. I felt a huge pain rocket through my arm. I let out a shout in pain.

“What the hell?!” I shouted. Karissa shook off the hand she just punched me with. “Why did you hit me?!”

“I think we’re even now.” She said, crossing her arms.

“Even? How is that even?” 

“You were a jerk.”

“Da! I just apologized for it!”

“You still earned it.” I shook my head at her and smiled. I took a step closer and pulled her to me by her hips. She placed her hands on my shoulders. 

“You want me to kiss it to make it better?” She teased with a wink. I reached a hand up and moved her bangs out of her face.

“I have an even better idea.” I cupped her cheek and brought my lips to hers. This right here is perfect. I pulled back and placed my forehead against hers.

“That was a good idea. Let’s do it again.” There was a cough and we both looked over to see a group of people waiting on us. Everyone who came from Russia, Piggy, Viktor, and Otabek. Crap. I forgot about them. 

“When you two are done swapping spit, we need to go get ready for the banquet.” Mila teased. Karissa blushed and hid her face in my chest.

  
  
  


I tried to wait as patiently as I could for Karissa. I knew Mila was probably still dressing her up like a doll.

“She still isn’t here?” I looked back to see Beka walk up next to me. I let out a groan.

“Girls and there make up. It will be a miracle if Mila even let her go.” Beka looked at me amused, handing me the broken necklace he somehow fixed.

“I managed to put it back together with a new stronger chain.” I looked at the charms in my hand before placing it in my jacket pocket. I wanted to give it to her tonight.

“Thanks, Beka.” A car pulled up, it had to be her. I felt myself get nervous as I waited for her to get out of the car. As she came into view my jaw dropped. She wore a short blue dress, making the blue in her hair stand out. Her hair was pulled back and curled. I was at a loss for words as she walked up to us.

“You look great,” Beka told her.

“Thanks, Beka.” She gave him a smile. He elbowed me in the side snapping me out of my trance.

“You look amazing Blue.” I told her and she smiled. She pulled me closer and placed a kiss to my cheek. 

“Thanks for waiting. Ready to go in?” She grabbed my hand, ready to pull me inside.

“Wait.” I quickly pulled out the necklace. She looked shocked.

“How did you-”

“Hamster Boy gave it to me and Beka fixed it.” She gave me a smile before turning around and lifting her hair out of the way. I carefully put it on. She turned to face me. 

“Now we're ready.”

  
  


=====

“Well that was an eventful night,” I said to Yuri as I walked of the bathroom, now wearing some of his clothes to sleep in. We had just gotten back from another crazy banquet.

“It was disgusting again,” Yuri grumbled, slipping off the jacket to his suit. Yuuri really tried to avoid getting drunk, but once drunk Viktor came out that all changed. Then they tried to get married in front of God. Phichit took a bunch of selfies of it. Yuuri tried to get Yuri into a dance-off but ended up pulling me instead. It wasn’t until Yuuri tried to grope me that Yuri lost it and tried to kill him. Luckily Beka held him back. Yuri had enough and dragged me out of there before Chris started his pole routine. 

=====

“I’m just glad Beka was able to catch you.” How can she be so carefree? I want to kill that Pig. I lost my thought when Karissa climbed into my lap and pulled me into a hug. “Don’t be so grumpy.” I simply let out a grunt. I felt her shift as she placed a kiss to my cheek. I let out a hum, feeling her lips on my cheek but shook it off. She smirked before kissing my forehead. My cheeks felt red. She pecked me on the lips, causing my tense shoulders to relax. She pulled back and looked at me with a smile. “Better?”

“No.” I smiled at her, pulling her down onto the bed and hovering over her. Her cheeks flushed as I slowly started to kiss her. She relaxed against me, letting out a sigh. Your all mine Blue. I pulled back to catch my breath. She smirked at me and I was ready to kiss her again. I stopped when I heard my phone ringing. I grumbled at being interrupted but stopped when I saw it was Grandpa. Karissa sat up and saw the caller ID.

“Well, answer it.” She told me. I got up off the bed and outside in the hallway. I quickly answered. 

“Congratulations Yurochka. I’m so proud of you. You’ve grown so much.” A smile broke out on my face. 

“Thanks, Grandpa.” 

“I still remember the first skating class you ever took. You were so nervous, now look at you.” I let out a light laugh, remembering it. I always wanted to be on the ice but I was so scared to try it. Now it’s changed my life. “So, are you going to tell me about the kiss?” My face felt red.

“Well, um…”

“I’m just joking.” I almost sighed in relief. I can’t imagine trying to explain it to him. “I’m glad it worked out between you two. I knew she was the one the moment you told me about her. The way you talked about her, I could hear how happy you were. You also posted a lot of pictures with her online. I saw the way you looked at her in Moscow. She’s helped you grow and become a better person.” I smiled and leaned against the door, playing with the flower clip.

“Da, she has.”

“Now, we need to make plans for her to come visit properly this time.” He playfully scolded.

“Don’t worry, we will.”

I walked back into the room. I stopped when I saw her curled up in bed with the stuffed tiger I got her. She was fast asleep, hair falling over her face. I smiled when I saw she was snoring. I slipped off my shoes and climbed over next to her, pulling her back to my chest. She let out a light sigh in content. I placed a kiss to her cheek. “Goodnight Blue.”

~To Be Continued!~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As I said, it gets worse before it gets better!
> 
> As you can probably see, there are more chapters left! Not only with there be and epilogue but there will also be an extra chapter along with a surprising reveal of what I plan to do with Karissa's story next so stay tuned and look out for that!


	27. Welcome to the Madness

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you haven't seen the Welcome to the Madness short and read the manga around it, I suggest you watch and read that. There are videos on Youtube of both. It's incredible and I loved every minute of it! It will give you a good taste of what's to come! Because of this, this chapter is a little more mature.
> 
> I based Karissa's performance off of Gabby Daleman's 2017 program: https://youtu.be/fFgWMoynmxI

“I don’t want to do the exhibition,” I told Yakov and Lilia as they sat at the bar having drinks. I was bored and missing Karissa, plus I had nothing else to do. “I was supposed to do the program with Karissa.”

“You both placed so you have to do individual programs,” Liia told me.

“I don’t want to.” I groaned.

“Yuri. If you're going to whine about your performance then do it in the privacy of your own room.” Yakov scolded me. "Don't interrupt my drinks with Liia just because you're bored without Karissa." I let out a tch.

“Am I to take that to mean you no longer wish to skate to ‘Angel of the Fire Festival.’” The piece that I choreographed for you? You’ve been skating it at other competitions throughout the season. What could you possibly find lacking in it now.” She asked as she was tapping on her phone, irritated.

“It’s not that there's anything really lacking, it just...feels like something is missing.” 

======

“This isn’t getting any better.” I grumbled to Mila, sitting on the wall of the rink. I was trying to practice my new Exhibition Program, I had the routine perfected but the performance aspect was weak.

“That’s because you’re overthinking it. Relax and stop thinking so much.” Mila explained, leaning on the wall next to me. I was about to respond when my phone went off. I pulled it out of my pocket and answering Yuri’s video call.

“Hey, Kitty.” I gave him a small wave.

“Are you still at the rink?”

“Yeah. I’ll probably be here all night working on this program.” I saw his face slump. “Sorry. You and Yuuri booked out the rink for the morning and afternoon I had to practice late.” Mila put her head on my shoulder to look at Yuri.

“Aw! Is someone lonely?” Mila teased at him. I saw his face turn bright red, making him growl.

“I am not lonely! I just didn’t want to be stuck at the hotel with Yakov and Lilia all night!”

“I heard Otabek was going to DJ at a club tonight. Maybe he’s free.” Yuri still looked conflicted. Poor Kitty. He probably wanted to take some time now that we're a couple.

“Kitty. I promise after this, we will spend time together. Okay?” I gave him a smile. The only response I got out of him was a light grunt. “I love you.”

“I love you too.” He ended the call and I let out a sigh. I feel bad for leaving him hanging again. I felt a poke at my side, snapping me out of my thoughts.

“Come on,” Mila said. “I want to get out of here. I have plans to go clubbing tonight.”

=====

I stood against the side of the rink with Otabek. I knew Karissa was about to go on and I was irritable because I haven’t seen her for almost a full day.

“Yuri!” I heard someone call out. I let out a groan, knowing it was Mila.

“What do you want?“

"I just wanted to see the look on your face.” She told me with a wink. What does she mean by that? The lights in the rink turned dark.

“This is bronze medalist, Karissa Faye of the USA.” They announced but the rink lights stayed off. Music began to play and the rink lit up. She skated out onto the ice, waving to the crowd and my jaw dropped. She wore her white tiger sweatshirt now cut so it showed her stomach. She wore a blue skirt with fishnets underneath. Her hair was up in a ponytail with extra streaks of blue in her hair. Once she made it to the middle of the rink she locked eyes with me and smirked. ‘Your ready?’ She mouthed with the song.

“I wasn’t expecting that.” Otabek said stunned. I was at a complete loss of words as she moved across the ice, entertaining the audience with step work. I knew she was a confident skater, but this was different. The way she skated reminded me of the Pig. It felt like she was trying to entice me. My face turn red and my heart pound.

“I helped her practice,” Mila said with a smirk. “Took a while but I was able to help her sexualize her program.”

“You did what?!” I shouted at her. I wanted to be angry...but seeing her on the ice like this...

“She's a natural.” I watched as her skirt swayed around her as she moved across the ice, picking up speed. She went into a Triple Axel, Double Toe Loop combo. She landed with finesse. The way she was skating seemed playful and teasing. Did she plan this?! She caught my eyes and smirked. I felt my stomach twist. She definitely planned this! First, she leaves me hanging for a night and now she’s trying to seduce me in front of everyone! I clenched my fist into the wall, feeling myself get flustered. Keep it together Yuri!

She lifted her leg up over her head, gliding across the ice. I let out a dry swallow as she lowered it before going into a Triple Lutz. She skated out of it, dancing across the ice, making sure to move her hips. This girl is going to be the death of me! The song changed pace, thank god it’s almost over. I watched as she skated towards me. Are you kidding me?! She grabbed the front of my shirt, pulling me towards her and into a rough kiss. The crowd roared. I went to pull her closer when she quickly pulled back with a wink. I let out a grumble in frustration watching her skate back into the main part of the ice. She is going to pay for this later. 

She slowly picked up speed around the ice. Just as the song changed she went into a Quadruple Salchow. She skated out of it, grabbing more speed. She pushed herself off the ground and went into the splits before landing again. I saw her let out a light laugh as she skated around the ice.

She went into a spin. She was nothing but swirl of blue and I was in awe. God, she is beautiful. She came out of the spin, hitting her final stance, hand on her hip while her other hand in the air. The crowd roared, it was almost deafening. She waved to the crowd, before grabbing the edge of her skirt and did a curtsy.

=====

“That was amazing!” Mila shouted, greeting me as I came off the ice. I gave her a coy smile as she handed me my jacket. She started ushering me into the locker room. “You should have seen Yuri’s face. You totally seduced him.” I blushed, feeling embarrassed.

“I never knew you had that in you.” I looked behind Mila to see Sara come over. I hadn’t really spent time with Sara but Mila talked about her a lot. She seemed sweet. “I’m impressed.”

“Thanks.” I lightly laughed.

“If your free we should go clubbing tonight.” She offered. “Mickey and Emil are going to be there. We’re even thinking about inviting Otabek.”

“Well, actually…” I rubbed my neck. I don’t think she realized that I was still sixteen. Mila threw her arm around me.

“I’m afraid our Princess is going to be busy with her boyfriend tonight.” Mila sent a smirk my way and Sara blushed. 

“Oh, I didn’t realize you were that intimate already.”

“It’s not like that!” I shouted suddenly, face growing red. “I just promised to spend time with him!”

“Nah, after that they totally are.” Mila told her.

“Mila!”

=====

“Those damn pigs!” I shouted, I watching as the Pig and Viktor, clenching my fists. Of course the Pig would pull Viktor into his program.

“I guess our surprises overlapped,” Otabek told me.

“Otabek!” I shouted catching his attention. “For my final exhibition, you’ll be in it too.” Otabek looked shocked. “We’re gonna be even more intense than Karissa or those Pigs!” I took a step closer to him. “You’re going to watch me lay everyone flat out, right? So are you gonna help me or not?” He gave me a smirk.

“We’re friends aren’t we? Then there’s only one answer.”

=====

“I wonder what Yuri’s going to do after that.” I asked aloud as Yuuri and Viktor skated off the ice together. The crowd loved it. A pair skate between two lovers. I could feel the crowds excitement linger as next came Yuri’s turn. The rink was dark so I knew he had something big planned. Two purple spotlights came on suddenly when a heavy guitar played. 

“This isn’t his Angel of Fire Festival Routine.” But that left my mind when I saw him. With the next beat, he flipped his hair that he had tied up partially into a bun and slammed his skate into the ice. He carefully lowered his sunglasses and I could see the black eye shadow darkening his eyes. He skated around before lowering his purple blazer to show off his tank top underneath. His outfit was tied together with his black leather pants, black gloves, and gold cross necklace. I felt my jaw drop in complete awe. This was a complete 180 from Yuri’s competition programs.

Yuri threw his blazer back onto his shoulders, zipping across the ice. Jumping for skate from skate, making it look effortless. The song screamed out at me and the crowd. Skating across the ice, he moved freely. Almost embracing the feeling. This is Yuri. This was his true self showing. Now long stuck behind a soft program, no longer trying to look feminine. He was in control. This was his true self. I felt my face turn bright red as I watched him. Even if this was his true self, he looked hot and dangerous. And I loved it. 

He landed his first jump which was a Quad. It was a high jump so he was pushing himself hard for this. As he danced across the ice it was powerful, unlike his grace in his programs. He went into his favorite, a combination spin. His entire outfit shone in some way, from the reflection of his skates, the leather pants, his blazer, his glasses, and cross necklace. He came out of his spin, shrugging off his blazer. I let out a gasp as he pulled the blazer off of him, tossing it to the side. With it gone I could see the lights reflecting off of his skin. I gulped, feeling my face burn. Some may call him small but after years of skating, he is sculpted and muscular.

I saw his muscles tighten as he went into a Triple Axel. His jump was high and he landed with so much force. He was playfully but powerfully moving across the ice, making his lose tank top show the skin hidden underneath. Of course, the cut in the back wasn’t helping. He is definitely paying me back from earlier. Surprisingly he went up, not into a jump but into the splits before landing back on the ice.

He skated toward the edge of the rink, towards a now spotlight covered Otabek who was leaning against the wall in leather-clad too. I didn’t even notice him before. Yuri came to a stop, grabbing his sunglasses and throwing them into the crowd. They let out a collective roar. Yuri stuck out his gloved hand to Otabek, who grabbed his hand pulling away the glove. He turned giving him his other hand. I let out a surprised yelp as Otabek pulled the last one off with his teeth. I continued to fan myself. I was not expecting that. Yuri thrust his arms to the beat before going back into the ice. 

As he skated around, I caught his eye. The look he gave me made my legs feel like rubber. So intense and powerful. I grabbed onto the edge to keep myself upright and grounded. I almost lost it as he went into slide, his body just barely above the ice, causing his top to fly up showing everything. I let out a breath of air, trying to calm myself down. Keep it together Karissa. Of course, he wasn’t done because he skated backward, doing splits on the ice before snapping back up. I gripped the edge tighter, feeling my heart in my throat.

The song kept picking up speed which meant Yuri was moving faster and faster. He was almost a blur going into his last jumps. Coming out of his jumps he went into another spin as the song was starting to end. On the last beat, Yuri gracefully fell onto the ice, his body spread out. The crowd roared and I could feel my heart pounding out adrenaline and anticipation.

=====

Where is she? I need to see her now. Once off the ice, I marched over to her, quickly. She looked dazed. I grabbed her exposed waist, pulling her against me, kissing her roughly. She let out a sigh of relief, wrapping her arms around my neck. I nudged her back against the wall, placing my hand next to her. Not only did this trap her in but steadied myself. Her hands threaded through my hair making me groan. I pulled away, trying to catch my breath. I looked down at her red face as she panted.

“We should do this more often.”

=====

“I am very disappointed in you two.” I nearly jumped out of my skin. We both looked over to see Viktor and the Pig looking disapprovingly. Yuri let out a growl at them. I couldn’t tell if he was pissed because they ruined the moment or that they were calling him out.

“How so?” Yuri challenged, storming over.

“Those routines were way to sexual for your ages,” Yuuri told him. Oh really?

“And especially as a new couple,” Viktor added in quickly. Why does that matter?

“Too sexual?! This coming from the pig shaking his ass around in mesh lingerie?!”

“He does have a point,” I added, taking my spot next to Yuri. He placed his arm around me and pulled me to his side.

“That’s different.” Yuuri defended himself. “I’m an adult, I can do that.” 

“I’m almost seventeen, that’s close enough,” I added, placing my hands on my hips. Yuuri was about to say something when Viktor stepped in.

“I’ve been doing sexy programs since I was like, ten. So whatever, but-” He said before sounding irritable. “I don’t appreciate my princess in a mini skirt and fishnets in front of a crowd. It’s too exposing. Plus Yurio did toss my five hundred dollar Chanel sunglasses into the stands and I’m a little pissed about it.”

“I can wear whatever the hell I want./ She can wear whatever the hell she wants.” Me and Yuri both said at the same time before high-fiving.

“Hey.” I heard Beka shout as he came over. Yuri lit up.

“Ah! Beka! Back us up here!”

“It’s their programs. They made it and if you guys have a problem with that, you can-” He stopped when he looked at Yuuri and Viktor looking menacingly down on him. I didn’t realize he was that much shorter. “-you’re...a lot taller than me…”

“I suppose, I don’t have you tell you two that you're grounded,” Viktor added.

“Fuck off Vikor, You're not our mom!”

(*Based off of a comic I found on Tumblr. Check End Notes)

Yuri pulled me into my room quickly. I was barely in the room before he closed the door behind me. I smirked, grabbing him by the front of his tank top and pinning him to the door. He looked surprised as I held him at bay. I smirked, teasing him as I leaned in close enough but pulled away when he tried to kiss me. I instead leaned down, pressing my lips on his neck. He bit back a groan so I gave him teasing nip. He let out a growl, grabbing my waist and turning me so I was pressed against the door. I let out a yelp in surprise as he kissed me roughly. I grabbed onto his ripped tank top for something to steady myself. That’s what I get for being a tease. Then again, it’s not like he was any better. He pulled back with a look of triumph on his face before nuzzling into my neck. I let out a breath as Yuri placed a quick kiss on my neck. His hands slowly drifted down and played with the top of my skirt. I gasped, pulling back slightly and he took his hands off me.

“You okay?” He took a step back and eyed me carefully. I tried to catch a breath, the best I could.

“Sorry,” I mumbled awkwardly. I leaned into his chest, hiding my face. He literally took the air out of my lungs and I totally ruined the moment. He pulled my chin up to look at him and kissed me. I melted into his chest. He pulled away and smirked, resting his other hand on my hip, pinning me back against the door. I smiled, running my hand through his hair. He carefully placed a kiss on my lips before growing more eager. There was a banging on the door and I practically jumped into Yuri’s arms. He let out a grunt as I head-butted his jaw, taking him to the ground. 

“Ow.” He winced holding his chin. I winced at my own head, sitting up. The door opened and there was a very angry set of parents. I looked down and saw I was sitting on his lap, which didn’t look very good. “Are you kidding me?!” He shouted, looking at them. I quickly climbed off of him.

“I knew I would find you here.” Viktor grumbled as he grabbed Yuri’s arm and pulled him up, dragging him out of the door. I heard Yuri let out a string of curses as he was dragged down the hall. That left me with an upset Yuuri. 

“Uh...I can explain.”

=====

Viktor practically threw me into the chair in my hotel room.

“What the hell?!” I shouted, ready to fight. I stopped as a shiver went down my spine at the look on Viktor's face. He looked like he was going to kill me.

“Yuri." He crossed his arms over his chest. But what scared me the most was that he used my real name. "You and Karissa are a new couple, and while you may be young and full of hormones but-” He was calm as he said this but he still looked like he was going to kill me. “-If you even think about tainting our princess, it will be the last thing you’ll do.” 

=====

I let out a yawn sipping my coffee. Yuuri had kept me up, going over the birds and bees. He also tried to explain while I had control of what I wear, just to be careful. It was one of the most embarrassing things in my life. I took my seat next to Yuri, waiting for our plane. Ever since last night, he has been really weird. I carefully placed my hand in his, entwining our fingers. I felt him tense up next to me, as he pulled his hand away and pulled out his phone. What is with him? I went to grab his hand again but he wouldn’t let me. 

“Kitty,” I grumbled at him. My coffee hasn’t kicked in yet so I was grumpy. He gave me a nervous and apologetic look. I rolled my eyes, grabbing his jacket to hold him still as I placed a kiss on his cheek. He was tense the entire time, looking at something behind me. I pulled away and saw Viktor smirking as he read the newspaper.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Comic by https://madelezabeth.tumblr.com/post/161313819984/otabek-is-tiny-my-meager-contribution-to-the-wttm
> 
> I hope you guys enjoyed this extra chapter before the finale. I loved the Welcome to the Madness short so much I had to write Karissa into it! I loved writing Yuuri and Viktor as protective dad's!
> 
> Next, I'll be posting the Epilogue and finishing the story. At the end of that chapter, I'll reveal what I'll be doing next to Karissa's story! A hint, it's an AU of Yuri's Ice Princess!


	28. Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A look into how Karissa has settled in since the Grand Prix

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to everyone who stuck with my story! It's been about a year and a half in the work, and it's been worth it! You are the ones who kept me going! I hope you enjoy the conclusion! Check the endnote for my new fanfiction in the works for Karissa's story!

~~~~~Current, St. Petersburg Russia, Three Months After Grand Prix Final~~~~~

“дерьмо!” I shouted as I ran downstairs, heels in hand. “You better be ready by the time I get out there!” Makka let out a bark, wanting to play. “Not now boy.”

“Well maybe if the Pig didn’t turn off the alarm, we wouldn’t be running late!” Yuri shouted from the kitchen. I quickly slipped on my heels, making sure they were on.

“For the last time, it was an accident!” Viktor quickly ran into the room, wearing his coaching uniform. 

“I’ll get the car ready.” He told me before taking his keys and running downstairs. Yuuri came out panting, straightening out his tie. Yuri was right behind him.

“Alright. Let’s go.” I told them. We made it down the warmed up car thanks to Viktor. Me and Yuri climbed into the backseat while Yuuri sat in front. Viktor took off, trying to hurry.

“Here.” I looked over to see Yuri holding a cup of coffee and a granola bar. I let out a laugh.

“You are perfect,” I told him, taking the coffee and granola bar, giving him a kiss in return. He gave me a smirk back. I took a sip of coffee and let out a sigh of relief.

“Now,” Viktor said, looking at me in the rearview mirror. “The press is going to crazy over this so you need to be confident. Show one sign of weakness and they’ll be all over you.” I let out a nervous gulp. Yuri placed his hand on my knee for comfort. “And make sure to answer all the questions with confidence.”

“You're making her more nervous.” Yuuri scolded him. He looked back at me from the front seat. “Just walk into the room and think murder, it works every time.”

“You would know,” Yuri mumbled under his breath. I lightly flicked his hand, taking a bite of the granola bar. I gave him the ‘be nice look’. He rolled his eyes. “Just ignore those two, you’ll be great.”

~~~~~ Hatsetsu, Japan. Two Weeks after Grand Prix Final ~~~~~

I heard Yuri stir beside me as I sat back down in bed with a cup of coffee. He mumbled something before turning over and looking at me. “Well good morning Kitty.” I told him with a smile. He let out a yawn, sitting up.

“Why are you up so early?” He rubbed the sleep off his face. 

“It’s 8 o'clock.”

“Still too early.” I held back an eye roll. He’s definitely not a morning person.

“I wanted to get up early before Yuuri and Viktor so they wouldn’t catch me sneaking out of your room.” I took a sip of coffee. “Since I was up, I was going to go on a run.” 

“Are you taking the mutt with you?”

“Yes, Makka-” I told him, making sure he heard the poodle's name. “-Is going with me. I know you don’t like it when I jog alone.” Yuri let out another yawn and I laughed. “Go back to sleep.” Yuri mumbled in agreement, laying back down. I placed a kiss to his forehead before leaving. Closing the door, I saw Makka eagerly waiting for me, tail wagging. “Let’s go, buddy.”

Makka let out a bark as he jogged beside me. It was the beginning of January and we were back in Hatsetsu to try and recoup before moving to Russia. Yuuri and Viktor invited me and Yuri to live with them. It took Yuri some convincing, he couldn’t get past the fact they would really be our ‘dads,’ I think it will be good to actually have a place to call home instead of living out of a suitcase like I’ve had to the past year. 

Once I saw the resort up ahead, I stopped jogging, catching my breath in the cold air. I looked up at the snowflakes that fell from the sky, thinking about my dad. Would he be happy about me leaving the US? Leaving mom? I shook it off. He would want me to be happy. As I walked towards the entrance of the inn I saw Hiroko unloading a truck.

“Good morning Hiroko.” I greeted her, walking over to grab a box. “Let me help.”

“I appreciate it dear.” She told me sweetly. “But you have someone waiting for you inside. He’s very excited to see you.” Who would be waiting for me? I opened the door to the inn, stamping my feet to get the snow off. I took off my shoes and jacket leaving them in the front room, also making sure to brush the snow off Makka. I walked into the sitting area, looking for whoever it was that was waiting for me.

“Karissa!” I heard someone shout before getting tackled onto the ground. I winced, butt hitting the ground. Makka let out a playful bark so there friendly. “I’m so sorry.” I looked at the boy who jumped off of me. Blonde hair with red bangs, where have I seen him before? He looked really nervous as he helped me up. “I didn’t mean to tackle you. I was just really excited to see you.”

“Uh, hi,” I told him in confusion as he looked at me in awe. “And you are…”

“Oh!” He brightened. “I’m Minami Kenjirou.” As soon as he said his name, I remembered.

“You competed against Yuuri last year.” I watched as tears filled your eyes which threw me off.

“You remembered who I am.” Hard to forget after Yuuri’s failure. He seems nice though but a little eccentric. I guess he’s a fan. “I’ve wanted to meet you for so long. After you competed in the final, you mentioned in your interview you were coming back here and I knew I had to meet you.”

“Well...it’s nice to meet you.” I smiled. He let out a light squeal that he held back with his hands.

“You are just so cool!” He fanboyed before pulling me into a hug. “I can’t believe I get to meet you.” I felt a little awkard hugging him but he was just a kid who likes me as a skater. I used to act this way around other professional skaters so I get it. Minami was suddenly pushed off of me and I let out a yelp as I was picked up off my feet. Makka let out a defensive bark. I was now in the arms of a very grumpy Yuri.

“Get off of her, you chicken nugget!” Yuri glared down at the boy. He must have just woken up because his hair was out of place and he still looked tired. Minami let out a nervous noise.

“I didn’t know you were here Yuri.” Minami told him nervously. Yuri let out a deep growl that even surprised me.

“So you were waiting to get Karissa alone huh?” Minami shuttered in fear. I’ve never seen Yuri like this before. I know he gets jealous but this is something else. He pulled me closer to his chest, chin rested on top of my head. “She’s mine, so back off.”

“Right. Sorry.” Minami took a scared step back towards the door. “Nice to meet you Karissa.” He quickly said before leaving. I was in complete and utter shock, I didn’t say anything as Yuri took me back to his room. 

“Yuri!” I complained as he set me down on the bed. “What was that back there? You scared that poor boy to death! He was just a fan!”

“He had it coming.” He told me, grumbling.

“You can’t be so jealous all the time.” He climbed beside me, wrapping his arms around my waist. He nuzzled his head into my chest, letting out a sigh. How can he go from raging one minute to completely relaxed the next? “Yuri, I’m sweaty and gross after my run.”

“I don’t care.”

“Viktor and Yuuri are going to catch us.”

“So let them.” He tightening his arms around me. I let out a sigh in defeat. There was no way he was letting me go now. “I sleep better when you’re here.” I shook my head at him, placing a kiss to the top of his head.

“You’re such a dork Kitty.” 

“I’m really going to miss pork cutlet bowls.” I told the boys, taking a big bite. All of us were around the table eating dinner. It was nice having all four of us. Yuri made sure to sit next to me after our eventful morning. Somehow we flew under Yuuri and Viktor’s radar this morning so that was good.

“Karissa.” I looked up as Yuuri’s mom handed me a letter. “This came for you.” I felt excitement fill my body when I saw it was the ISU. I quickly opened it.

“What is it Blue?” Yuri asked, trying to read the letter in my hand. Yuuri and Viktor stopped and watched me. Makka simply wagged his tail under the table.

“Guys! It’s huge! They accepted my request to change my representing country!” I saw Viktor practically spit out his drink, Yuuri started to choke on food and Yuri was in complete shock.

“You...switched countries?” Viktor asked carefully. “Are you sure about this? It’s going to be a big change.”

“Well yeah.” I shrugged.“ Lilia took me on as her student and I was going to be training in Russia anyway.”

“But what about the US?” Yuuri asked.

“I mean, I was born in the US but I’ve fallen in love with Russia and want to represent it. It’s more of a home to me. It’s where my family is.” I looked to Yuri who hadn’t said anything yet. “Well. What do you think?” I let out a yelp as Yuri suddenly scooped me up into his arms in excitement. I grabbed onto him, careful not to fall.

“I think it’s amazing!” I let out a giggle and cuddled into his neck.

~~~~~ St. Petersburg, Russia. One Month after Grand Prix Final~~~~~

“Wow! This place is huge!” I said looking around the apartment that Viktor and Yuuri had bought for all of us to live in. Makka let out a happy bark as he wandered around the apartment. It had three bedrooms, a loft space, two bathrooms, a huge living area, and kitchen. Viktor and Yuuri had basically taken us in and let us live with them.

“We figured that with you and Yuri living here, that you would want your own space,” Yuuri explained as we left Yuri’s room. They were giving us a tour, making the place seem more familiar.

“Definitely.” Yuri agreed. He actually seemed happy with his room. His grandpa had sent things from his room to make it seem like home. 

“Next is the Princesses room. This is the only room upstairs.” Viktor told us as they led up upstairs to the loft. There was a small area with couches and a door. He opened it for me and I walked into the blue themed room. I let out a laugh when I saw my new Russian Team jacket folded on the bed. I picked it up, looking at the familiar patches.

“Well, put it on.” Yuri urged, holding his phone up. I slipped the jacket on, it surprisingly fit well. I gave Yuri a small pose and he took a picture.

“Aw. Look at our precious princess.” Viktor cooed. I let out a light laugh.

“It fits perfectly,” I told them, zipping it up. I looked around my room at the decorations. I stopped when I saw a familiar picture frame. “Is this…?” I asked picking it up, sitting on the edge of my bed.

“Your mom had shipped up a lot of stuff from your room back home,” Yuuri explained. Now that I looked there were old posters and the trophies from my local competitions. I looked back to the frame, tracing over my picture. It was a picture of me and my dad one the ice. 

“I’m home dad.”

~~~~~

“I’m here with Yuri Plisetsky and Karissa Faye, Russia’s new top skaters.” Kayla, our interviewer introduced us. “Congratulations on both of your placings at the Grand Prix Final.”

“Thank you.” We both said at the same time.

“Karissa, what was it like competing and placing in the Men’s Final?” I took a breath and looked at Yuuri and Viktor behind the camera, giving me a thumbs up. I was full of nerves when we got here. Viktor told me if I focused like I was talking to them, it would be easier. Here goes nothing. 

“It was incredible,” I told her with a smile. “I got to meet some incredible people and was against talented skaters. It made me realize how much more I have to learn and how I can improve myself when I return to the Women’s Championships this year.”

“Many fans have been wondering about your sudden move to Russia.”

“I will admit it was sudden,” I said sheepishly, rubbing the back of my neck. “Last year after my fall I went back to St. Petersburg to train. I fell in love with everything about it. I also met people who became my new family.” I looked over at Yuri and smiled. “So I wanted to represent the place that is truly my home, surrounded by the people who love me.” I looked behind the camera to see Viktor crying and Yuuri trying to keep him quiet. I held back a laugh.

“On the topic of love, you two have become one of the biggest up and coming couples.” She told us with a smile. She looked towards Yuri. “Many of your fans were surprised by your sudden relationship.” Yuri took my hand in his.

“I wasn’t expecting it either,” Yuri admitted shyly. I guess he gets nervous on camera too. “But she changed me and helped me become a better person. We might be young but we love each other.” 

“I have to agree with Yuri on this one,” I added with a smile. “I don’t think either of us thought we would date anytime soon. But if it wasn’t for Yuri, I wouldn’t be here and moving forward with my career.”

“How sweet,” Kayla told us. “Many fans have wanted to know how the two of you officially met. Is there a story behind it?” Yuri turned bright red which confused me. What is he so embarrassed about?

“The first time I met Yuri was at last year's Grand Prix Final,” I admitted, thinking back to the night where I ran from airport to the rink to try and find Yuuri. “I was coming to see my friend Yuuri Katsuki and on the way there, we ran into each other, literally. He wasn’t too happy to be bumped into and I wasn’t wanting to put up with his attitude. Later on, we met again in Japan when I was training.” I spared the details of Kitty kicking Yuuri into the rink.

“It seems you two didn’t fall in love at first sight.” She admitted with a laugh.

“Karissa probably won’t remember this but I do,” Yuri spoke up suddenly. I looked at him in confusion. “I actually met her four years ago, while watching a competition. We were both thirteen and she was performing in Junior competition. I remember watching her and seeing her passion on the ice. It amazed me how strong and calm she was on the ice. I loved her passion. When I talked to her, she was so kind even to a nobody like me.” He looked to the side embarrassed. “And I guess I fell for her in a way, four years ago.”

~~~~~

“You were brilliant Karissa!” Celestino told me with a pat on the back. My arms were full of flowers that were thrown and my winning bouquet. The gold tiara I wore was too big and felt bulky on my head.

“I was really nervous about that Triple Axel,” I admitted. But I landed it and that’s all that matters. I carefully tried to move my flowers over to one arm so I could grab my phone from my jacket wanting to text Phichit and Yuuri. I watched as my tiara fell off of my head and rolled across the floor. I let out a light whine as I tried to find it.

“You dropped this.” I heard an accented voice say. I looked over the flowers to see a boy about my age with blonde hair. From his accent, he sounded Russian. He had a light blush as he held the tiara out to me. 

“Can you put it on?” I asked. "My hands are full.” I lowered my head and felt him place it on top of my head carefully. I flashed him a smile. “Thanks.” I looked behind me at Mila, who was being lectured by her coach. “That’s your rink mate?” He gave a small nod. I handed him some of the roses over. “Give these to her. She deserves these as much as I do. Thanks….wait, I never got your name.”

“My name is Y-”

“Karissa!” I nearly jumped out of my skin as Celestino called my name. “They're ready for your interview!”

“Coming!” I shouted before looking back at the blonde boy. “Thanks again.” I gave him another smile before walking to do my interview.

~~~~~

I smiled at the sudden memory. I don’t know how I wouldn’t have remembered him back then. Maybe because he wasn’t as much of a punk back then.

“When I put that tiara on her head I was love-struck.” I was surprised he was opening up so much, especially for everyone to see. “I knew why she was called the Ice Princess. She was so kind and amazing. After that I watched her programs, wanting to see more of the passion she had. Years later when I realized I might be able to meet her, I knew I had to. ” He took my hand a placed a kiss to the back of it. “I guess now you could call her my Ice Princess.”

~~~~~ Two Months After Grand Prix Final~~~~~

“I told you guys I didn’t want to celebrate my birthday!” I called out. Viktor slowly lead me into the living room while Yuuri covered my eyes with his hands.

“Well, you don’t have a choice in this.” I heard Yuri say as Viktor sat me on the couch. “Hold out your hands.” I held them out and held a ball of fluff fill my arms.

“You didn’t have to give me Potya.” I said with a teasing smile. “He already likes me better than you anyway.”

“Just look.” I could hear the sarcasm in his voice. Yuuri moved his hands away and I saw a black fluffy kitten in my arms. I let out a gasp. 

“You got me a cat?!” I asked as I cuddled it into my arms. It was just like Potya. It let out a light purr a cuddled into my neck. “Is it a boy or a girl?

“A girl,” Yuuri told me. “I know you don’t like to celebrate and get gifts-”

“No,” I said cutting him off, cuddling the kitten. I gave him a smile. “This is perfect. Thank you.”

“So, what do you want to name her.” Yuri asked in excitement. Getting the cat was probably his idea, I bet he can’t wait to have another furry friend around. I felt her climb onto my shoulder so I carefully pulled her away and held her in my hands. I looked in her beautiful blue eyes before noticing the small white patch of fur on her chest that looked like a star.

“Astra.” I told them. It was the first name that came into my head. She let out a tiny meow and I laughed.

“I think she likes it.” Yuri told me, placing a kiss to the top of my head before leaning over to scratch Astra under the chin.

“Aw!” Viktor swooned next to Yuuri. “Our kids are so adorable!”

“For the last time, we aren’t your kids!”

~~~~~

I gently cuddled into Yuri on the couch, watching tv. Astra was curled up next to Potya, who was sleeping on the top of the couch. Yuri had introduced me to some of his shows that I could now somewhat watch now that I was learning Russian. Yuri lightly rubbed circles on my leg where his hand rested. I took notice when he stopped, seeing him glare down at something. I looked down and saw Makka sitting in anticipation, wagging his tail.

“Go away mutt.” He grumbled and pulled me closer, trying to ignore the dog who was panting at his feet. We had all been trying to work on Makka and Yuri’s relationship but we never got far. I could feel Yuri grimacing at the dog. Makka put his head out the couch and let out a whine. “Can you do something about him?” I let out a light sigh. I sat up and Makka’s tail went faster.

“What is it, boy?” I asked, rubbing one of his ears. He let out a happy bark before jumping onto the couch and into my lap. I let out a grunt as 80 pounds sat on me, effectively pinning me into the couch. He let out another bark and licked my face.

“Get off of her!” I heard Yuri shout, feeling him try to tug the dog off my body but with no avail. “She’s not yours!” Makka just looked at him, giving him a growl, then turning to me and licking my face, happily. I let out a laugh, trying to push him off and Yuri started to curse.

“Look whos interview came out,” Mila said teasingly, holding the magazine in front of my face. Yuri and I were taking off our skates for the day to go home. I grabbed it, looking at the cover and letting out a light laugh.

“What’s so funny?” Yuri asked in confusion. 

“Looks like someone graduated from Tiger to King.” I showed him the cover. They had taken a picture from the team photoshoot we did a month ago. It had both of us wearing our matching jackets. The top read, ‘Yuri Plisetsky and Karissa Faye. Russia’s Ice King and Queen.’

I popped my head into Yuri’s room, seeing him on the bed scrolling on his phone. I smiled as I watched how as Astra laid next to his head. She let out a light meow, letting Yuri know I was there. He looked up and his eyes looked over me. I was wearing my jacket over a tank top and a pair of shorts. I walked over and sat next to Astra.

“Hey Blue.” He put his phone down, pulling me closer to him, trapping Astra between us. She quickly jumped up and left the room.

“Guess she didn’t want a show.” Yuri placed a light kiss to my cheek, running his hands down to rest on my sides, under my jacket.

“You know just how to tease me.” I nuzzled my face into his neck and placed a kiss to his neck. I heard a little sigh come from him as he pulled back, trapping me under him. “You look great in that jacket.”

“I know.” He leaned down, kissing me. I smiled, wrapping my arms around his neck. Almost automatically I felt him tense, and pull back.

“We should stop.” I sat up looking at him in confusion.

“Is Viktor still freaking you out?” He looked embarrassed, rubbing the back of his neck. I lightly shook my head at him

“He did threaten to kill me.”

“Well, I’m sure it didn’t help that I was on top of you.” He let out a light grumble. 

“It also doesn’t help that we keep getting caught,” I smirked, pressing him down into the bed, hovering over him. “Do you wanna get me killed?” He whispered, nervously looking over at the door.

“Nope.” I leaned down, placing a kiss to his lips. “But it’s fun to see you be this scared of Viktor.” I climbed off him walking out of the room, I stopped at the door and saw his flushed face. “Just so you know, it’s our parent's date night. We have the house to ourselves.” I smirked to myself as I walked away.

“Hey! Come back here!” I turned, placing a hand on my hip teasingly.

"Come and get me, Kitty." He got up suddenly with a growl and a smirk. I let out a laugh as I ran towards the stairs, him not far behind

I sat on the wall of the rink letting my skates lightly tap against the side. My headphones were on and I was listening to program music that Lilia had recommended me to skate for my Short Program. None of them really spoke to me, not yet. I saw Yuri skate over, clearly frustrated. I took off my headphones as he stood next to me on the ice. Across the ice, I saw Yuuri and Viktor acting flirty with each other again.

“Are our parents getting on your nerves again?” I asked, holding back my laughter. Yuri sent me a glare that was menacing but didn’t affect me at this point. 

“You cannot think it’s okay to call them our parents.”

“Why not?” I shrugged.

“Do you realize how weird it is? We have two dads. One is a Pig who turns into a stripper when he gets drunk. Viktor is just Viktor. And us, the kids, are dating.” I placed my finger on my chin thinking over it.

“I mean, it is a little weird.” I had to agree. Never thought about it like that. I felt like teasing him. “Well I mean, we could always break up. Make it less awkward around the house, being as we’re ‘the kids.’” I saw Yuri roll his eyes playfully. I gave him a smirk and pulled him closer to me, placing a kiss on his lips. I could feel his frustration melt away. 

“As if I’d let that happen, Blue.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So the end of Karissa's story...or is it? I released the first chapter of my new work continuing Karissa's story! A Mafia AU Yuri's Ice Princess based off of Crimson Chains comic on Tumblr. I've put in a lot of work in this and will update as the comic is posted! Go support the original!


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